She cheated. Don´t know what to do now. (girlfriend, how to, woman)
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Me and my girlfriend were together for 2 and a half years. We had really good times and I loved her and I think she loved me really much. The last year of the relationship was full of mistrust, lying and arguing. She was still with her ex for the first 6 months because she didn´t know how to get rid of him and he was supporting her financially. She lied to me about it and I found out a year later. There were so many things that made me suspicious: Many male friends who were giving her attention. She also wanted to meet one of them one day but told me she just saw him as a friend and wanted be friendly.
All this plus that she lied to me about her ex made me mistrust her. We talked and argued about this stuff so so many times and to this day I can´t believe everything she told me because of inconsistencies in her stories. Because I couldn´t believe her, I was accusing her of cheating many times.
So the last two months were really rocky. We argued more and more. I wanted to talk about the past again and again because I was hoping that after she told me the truth, or what I was thinking was the truth, we could move on. At this time I just told her what I thought about her and her actions and it was quite ugly. I really hurt her. But still I don´t know if she told me the whole truth and that was killing me. At this time a few times I broke up and later came back and a few times also she did it. But I never gave up hope and wanted to work things out.
After this period she went on vacation. We even argued at this time and she ended the relationship. After she came back we met and thought about getting back together but I found out that she had an affair when she was on vacation. The affair started before she broke up and got really cold and distant. She told me that she wasn´t not that in love with me anymore and gave up hope on this relationship even before she went on vacation. But she didn´t broke up and wasn´t sure about us. But I had the feeling that she is quite into me but I guess she lost her feelings slowly because of the hard times. She told me she was hurt so much after I told her my opinion about her one month before she went on vacation.
So my problem now is that I feel guilty and I am thinking a big part that lead to her loosing her feelings and cheating is my fault. I couldn´t get over the past and came up with it like many times in the last year. My suspicions forced me to think bad about her as a person and telling her that. And I even don´t know if my suspicions were right. I love her like you can´t imagine but I also think I couldn´t get over the cheating. She wants me back and is begging me now.
But she doesn't sound like a nice person. Find somebody better. Even if you try to fix things now, it will never be forgotten and always a dark cloud over your head. It's not a minor, fixable issue.
She's not the person you fell in love with anymore. The cheating and lying is evidence that she doesn't really care about your feelings anymore. It is possible what you said played a part but not by that much. Deep down you know the relationship is over but I suppose your heart doesn't want to accept it but it needs to.
She's not the person you fell in love with anymore. The cheating and lying is evidence that she doesn't really care about your feelings anymore. It is possible what you said played a part but not by that much. Deep down you know the relationship is over but I suppose your heart doesn't want to accept it but it needs to.
It's time to face facts and move on.
She never was a nice person ... it started out wrong already and didn't get any better.
So my problem now is that I feel guilty and I am thinking a big part that lead to her loosing her feelings and cheating is my fault. I couldn´t get over the past and came up with it like many times in the last year. My suspicions forced me to think bad about her as a person and telling her that. And I even don´t know if my suspicions were right. I love her like you can´t imagine but I also think I couldn´t get over the cheating. She wants me back and is begging me now.
She was cheating on her ex with you, now she's cheating on you. That has nothing to do with you, it's all about her.
Dump that skanky heifer. And get checked for STDs. She's probably cheated on you a lot more times than you know about.
She was cheating on her ex with you, now she's cheating on you. That has nothing to do with you, it's all about her.
Dump that skanky heifer. And get checked for STDs. She's probably cheated on you a lot more times than you know about.
Yeah, I agree. She's just a cheater--some people are like that. It has nothing to do with what you (meaning the OP) did or didn't do. You didn't "drive her to cheat." If a person cheats, that's their own choice.
Get checked for STDs and don't take her back. You can do better and if you waste time with her, you won't find that better woman for you.
" She was still with her ex for the first 6 months because she didn´t know how to get rid of him".
That's what the next guy will be writing here in a couple of years. To answer the original question - not much for you to do, other than move on with your life. There's no better scenario for you - things worked out in your favor, other than all the wasted time.
"I am thinking a big part that lead to her loosing her feelings and cheating is my fault"
No.
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