Changing to fit your partners preferences? (wife, hubby, young, mature)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Here is the part that most actually thought about but didn't actually post. An image thing. Has the OP really asked her WHITE BF why he wants it straight? She isn't used to dating white men so can image be a factor? Oh the secrets come out at night I tell you!
Look, having lived in Miami, I had friends in the more affluent Latino neighborhoods, made up of Argentinians and Colombians, actually suggested persistently to their wives to get boob jobs. It was an image thing to keep up also as many boob jobs are done so cheaply in Latin America while on vacation. Surprise surprise, the wives did it to keep up with the image.
Now, you can say "you" wouldn't do that but we are not talking about you are we now? So as you can see, things ain't always what it seems.
Here is the part that most actually thought about but didn't actually post. An image thing. Has the OP really asked her WHITE BF why he wants it straight? She isn't used to dating white men so can image be a factor? Oh the secrets come out at night I tell you!
Look, having lived in Miami, I had friends in the more affluent Latino neighborhoods, made up of Argentinians and Colombians, actually suggested persistently to their wives to get boob jobs. It was an image thing to keep up also as many boob jobs are done so cheaply in Latin America while on vacation. Surprise surprise, the wives did it to keep up with the image.
Now, you can say "you" wouldn't do that but we are not talking about you are we now? So as you can see, things ain't always what it seems.
So you're suggesting he wants his nonwhite girlfriend to look more white? Because that was my takeaway. As a white woman with very curly hair, I'm not sure if there's any sense in that idea either.
And um, keeping up with an "image" is not exactly a positive thing. Unless you're really into followers.
So you're suggesting he wants his nonwhite girlfriend to look more white? Because that was my takeaway. As a white woman with very curly hair, I'm not sure if there's any sense in that idea either.
And um, keeping up with an "image" is not exactly a positive thing. Unless you're really into followers.
But please. Keep digging.
Did you even read what I wrote? Do you not understand the cultural differences? Why does he want it everyday specifically? Answer that ole mighty one. There is a reason and it may be beyond aesthetic preference. Everything is on the up and up with you right? People don't have hidden agendas no?
Did I suggest? I asked of the possibities and gave some instances as examples. Don't try to be one up on me, it's not that serious.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by halfamazing
Did you even read what I wrote? Do you not understand the cultural differences? Why does he want it everyday specifically? Answer that ole mighty one. There is a reason and it may be beyond aesthetic preference. Everything is on the up and up with you right? People don't have hidden agendas no?
Did I suggest? I asked of the possibities and gave some instances as examples. Don't try to be one up on me, it's not that serious.
If that is his preference, fine. He should go date his preference, not try to change someone else. You take people, especially early on, as they are, or you don't. If you don't like them or aren't attracted to them as they are, don't get involved. Simple.
But to get involved and then start asking them to change themselves FOR you, especially things about their body (where there are huge self image and societal image problems) is just messed up.
I can't "compromise" on my body. I'm the only one walking around it it. If a girl started dating me and said "I like beards, lets US compromise and YOU grow a beard', I'd look at them as if they were crazy (because they may be crazy) or at least I'd see it for the huge controlling red flag it is. At best it is an ignorant thing to do, in the middle it is a jerk thing to do, at worst it is a gross controlling thing to do. If you don't like me for how I am, why the heck did you get involved?
It never ceases to amaze me how much people can't grasp the concept of cultural differences and are shocked to learn certain things go on in interracial relationships. It's not bringing race into it but although it is 2015, we must not be oblivious to ethnic and racial differences.
It never ceases to amaze me how much people can't grasp the concept of cultural differences and are shocked to learn certain things go on in interracial relationships. It's not bringing race into it but although it is 2015, we must not be oblivious to ethnic and racial differences.
Uh, my hair is curly. And I see plenty of white, indian and latina women with the same texture as me. Sooo???
It never ceases to amaze me how much people can't grasp the concept of cultural differences and are shocked to learn certain things go on in interracial relationships. It's not bringing race into it but although it is 2015, we must not be oblivious to ethnic and racial differences.
It's 2015??? Shoot, I must have been in a coma for the last 2 months!
I don't see what race/ethnicity has to do with anything. Being controlling isn't cool or ok in any relationship.
Yeah, I really need to talk to him about it. Up until junior year of HS I did straighten my hair regularly. But I have grown to like my hair and I appreciate it.
I do it on special occasions so I feel as though that should be enough.
If I start straightening now, it would be for him, not me. And I don't want to inconvenience myself over something like hair, when it's unnecessary and not a life or death.
Maybe gingers don't have souls kidding
I don't think he'll dump me over it. It's not break up worthy, I just think he doesn't understand that I don't have time for all of that and it doesn't fit my lifestyle.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
kidding
