I'm bothered by fiances families reaction to his ex's passing

[BirdieBelle]

Originally Posted by jouster12

Please do refrain from calling me a "small person." You don't know me or anything about this entire story (she passdd away more then a month ago and the photo's continue). I, along with others have helped her family financially for the past few years, discretely and annon. I was asked to help and wanted to. There is no competition so no need to be the bigger person.

My error to post on CD, something I haven't done in a long time and something I won't do again.

ETA: They were never engaged and it did not end on good terms for my fiance. I'm done.

Well, THIS certainly is an overreaction to earnest advice.

NO ONE called you a small person. It sounds like your feelings are hurt because no one rushed to "your side."

Being the biggER person does not mean you are a small person. It means you are biggER than the average person in a difficult situation.

Stop being so sensitive.

[supermanpansy]

Originally Posted by jouster12

My fiances x/girlfriend passed away. They dated on/off for 20 year's. She married the father of her daughter (they reunited a few year's back). My fiance and her were never married nor had children.

I understand she was a part of my fiances life and family for a long time and I knew her also, from the same town & attended the same schools. We were 'friends' way back and hung out before she moved away. She also knew I was with my current and her former and we had no issues about that at all. One relationship ended, others began.

What bothers me is not that my fiances family are upset/sad. It's how they've gone about expressing their grief. Posting photo's of her with my now fiance from days long gone on social media for whomever to see with "tags", so these photo's are viewable to many more people. I'm sure they have photo's that he wasn't in (she was married to another when she passed away also, it seems tacky) . She kept in touch with with my finances mother/sister/sister in law/brother after leaving, that's not the issue. My fiance was not in contact with her and he isn't on social media to see this. He does know I'm bothered but doesn't say much.

I've given my condolences to her family that I know, to my fiances mother & sister and to him. He's doing okay and we all knew she had limited time with her illness.

Am I wrong to feel bothered by their display of grief? Is it odd or am I way off?

Sometimes the moment itself has to be bigger than the individual. Let them post these pictures. It's their way of saying "goodbye." It has nothing to do with you. I'm sure that they were not trying to hurt you. I tend to like to pick my battles. This for me would not be one of them. I would just let this one go, because in the end, it will just make you look petty. Good luck and I'm sorry that this hurt you. In the grand scheme of things, it's not that big of a deal. In the end, he chose you. That's all that should matter.