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I like my friend very much but I was stupid not to let her know about my feelings long ago. Now I am in the dreaded friend zone. I really want to get out of it. I like her very much. I decided and stopped talking properly with her for the past 3-4 days and also started talking with other women ( I have 2 dates for Christmas and New year ). Now she is in a deep problem at her and also living alone as her roommate has gone for vacation and feeling so lonely. I got a perfume that she liked a while ago as New year's gift. Do I do anything romantic like bake her a cake and give the perfume for new year surprisingly( I've never given her any gift till now ) or just altogether ignore her even in her current situation. I feel bad hearing her situation. Please suggest something to come out of the friend zone and make her like me.
She - keeps everything within herself, very very attention seeking (She started flirting with a guy who has a gf a while ago and then felt guilty about it and then stopped it. I was not able to digest the fact that she was going around with some one else).
Me - I was a very very angry person and used to be blunt, harsh at people if they are not right including her.I did not chose my words. After she came, I mellowed so much that I don't even get angry anymore. I also live alone which makes matters worse.
Please help me. She is the only thing running around my mind all the time right now. At work, when I come home.
Act accordingly to your inner feelings. Either you want to focus on her for a future relationship or not. If so, let her know your feelings. Talk to her, ask her for a date (or whatever) instead of lining up other girls. You are complicating your own inner feelings if you have feelings for her yet are seeking other woman. If you don't give the potential relation ship a proper chance, you will never know and be torturing yourself in the process.
you need to slowly bake her with your friendship so that she starts loving you, dont do anything directly to come out of "friend zone", do such things in friendship ( i am sure you are wise enough) so that she herself wants to come out of "friend zone". it takes time, everything takes time.
I like my friend very much but I was stupid not to let her know about my feelings long ago. Now I am in the dreaded friend zone. I really want to get out of it. I like her very much. I decided and stopped talking properly with her for the past 3-4 days and also started talking with other women ( I have 2 dates for Christmas and New year ). Now she is in a deep problem at her and also living alone as her roommate has gone for vacation and feeling so lonely. I got a perfume that she liked a while ago as New year's gift. Do I do anything romantic like bake her a cake and give the perfume for new year surprisingly( I've never given her any gift till now ) or just altogether ignore her even in her current situation. I feel bad hearing her situation. Please suggest something to come out of the friend zone and make her like me.
She - keeps everything within herself, very very attention seeking (She started flirting with a guy who has a gf a while ago and then felt guilty about it and then stopped it. I was not able to digest the fact that she was going around with some one else).
Me - I was a very very angry person and used to be blunt, harsh at people if they are not right including her.I did not chose my words. After she came, I mellowed so much that I don't even get angry anymore. I also live alone which makes matters worse.
Please help me. She is the only thing running around my mind all the time right now. At work, when I come home.
You could approach this in two ways:
Just tell her how you feel. Men are always expected to make the first move.
Remain her friend for a while, let her get to know you on another level, then mention being more than just friends. Personally, I don't date a lot, and I'm much more comfortable with men who are okay with being friends but aren't afraid of our outings being mistaken for a date.
Once you're in the friendzone, the only way to get out of it is to stop focusing on her and move on.
Maybe you can come back to her later, but being nice and making yourself more available at this point isn't the way to go.
You're not thinking clearly here, OP.
If that's your experience, okay, but I don't think women actually do this. I personally have reasons for not wanting a serious relationship with any man right now, really. It's because I have career plans that might be interrupted if I do settle down; it's not the guy himself. I would rather remain "just friends" for now just because of that.
I do not think you should continue playing games. You've known her a while...the time for games is long gone. You need to come right out with it. At that point, you'll be accepted or rejected and you can go from there. You do need to steel yourself for the very real possibility of rejection though. It is likely. Because generally, if she hasn't made herself available for more than friendship with you in the past, she isn't going to want more from you ever. Women generally have a sense very early on whether they want a man sexually/romantically or not. But my point is that you are not going to gradually win her over with kind overtures, or with avoidance...she will either keep right on being your friend and loving you as a friend and nothing more, or if you avoid her she will assume the friendship is cooling off without knowing why. But either way, you're playing games with yourself and with her and it's not really productive.
My advice to you would be to invite her out to something like a dinner, somewhere that you can sit face to face and talk. Be clear what it is you would like to see develop between the two of you. Look her in the eyes and say it. Be brave. But realize for sure that getting out of the friendzone means just that. Taking a leap, and being prepared for either getting what you want, or losing your friend entirely because things are too awkward. It's your choice to make.
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