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I have never been in this position but I can tell you that if I was interested in someone and they rejected me, it would be the last time they ever would have the opportunity to reject me. Right or wrong, this is how I feel. No amount of anything on this planet could convince me otherwise.
I have never been in this position but I can tell you that if I was interested in someone and they rejected me, it would be the last time they ever would have the opportunity to reject me. Right or wrong, this is how I feel. No amount of anything on this planet could convince me otherwise.
It sounded like the OP didn't reject her directly nor did she even ask him out directly, so OP, you still have a chance.
It sounded like the OP didn't reject her directly nor did she even ask him out directly, so OP, you still have a chance.
Yeah, I think with what he's said and the additional information he's given, the OP has a good chance too. There was never a breakup of sorts or rejection... just a lack of interest on his part. I think he can make up for it. It might take a little extra effort than it would have months ago when she was interested to, but I think there is a chance. The big issue would be if she's found someone else in the meantime (or is now interested in someone else). If you go for it Denny... good luck!
The big issue would be if she's found someone else in the meantime (or is now interested in someone else).
I have no idea if she's seeing anyone or interested in anyone else. We texted a while back and she was asking me whether I dated this woman we both know. When I said no, I then asked if she was seeing anyone. She never answered. I think most women know when a guy ISN'T physically attracted to them. He doesn't have to really spell it out for her. So even though I didn't say anything to her, I'm sure my friend knows why I wasn't interested in her before. Convincing her that I'm interested now will be tough. But first I need to actually be in the same room with her. But that's hard to manage when one person may or may not be avoiding the other. I don't want to just call her up and ask her out. I'd like to at least meet in person again and see how I feel and gauge how she feels. Maybe she's lost interest. All the more reason to meet up, if for no other reason than to see whether there's anything there.
That's funny, because according to the thread where the (male) OP had a similar situation with a woman rejecting him, these were your insights:
You should probably stick around, because maybe he'd still have use for you doing some house cleaning, cooking, laundry, etc.?
And? Just because I can call you to help with something doesnt mean we're close nor that Im communicating with you frequently, spending much time together, things friends do. Hope that helps.
I'm reading a few posts here where folks aren't attracted physically to those of the other gender, yet they're good friends that have similar interests, enjoy each others' company, etc.
Let me ask Y'all this:
If your wife or husband were to be involved in a serious car accident and they were horribly disfigured permanently, would you divorce?
I'm reading a few posts here where folks aren't attracted physically to those of the other gender, yet they're good friends that have similar interests, enjoy each others' company, etc.
Let me ask Y'all this:
If your wife or husband were to be involved in a serious car accident and they were horribly disfigured permanently, would you divorce?
No, but I have already made a commitment to that person and I don't think my feelings would change about them.
I get that physical attraction isn't everything, but you have to be at least moderately attracted to that person physically. In my case, the really good female friend that I referred to has some very strong masculine facial features. I've tried, I just can't get over it.
If your wife or husband were to be involved in a serious car accident and they were horribly disfigured permanently, would you divorce?
It's not quite the same thing. When you get married, you know the other person's appearance will change over time. They'll get grey hair and wrinkles, they may gain weight or lose their hair, and like the example you gave, something could happen that radically changes their appearance. But by that point, you love the person and have already made up your mind that you'll accept whatever happens. When you meet someone for the first time, you want there to be some physical attraction. From my own experience, I know that attraction isn't always immediate. Sometimes, it takes a while for a person's looks to grow on you. Or maybe as you get to know them better, you discover you like the person underneath so much that you start to like how they look on the outside. That's definitely what I'm experiencing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lafleur
I get that physical attraction isn't everything, but you have to be at least moderately attracted to that person physically. In my case, the really good female friend that I referred to has some very strong masculine facial features. I've tried, I just can't get over it.
It's tough. I've met people who I really liked as people and I kept hoping I'd grow to like their appearance. Sometimes it would happen. But more often, it wouldn't, no matter how much you wanted it to.
If some guy who wasn't physically attracted to me suddenly decided, oh, wait, he is physically attracted to me, after all, I wouldn't trust it for three seconds, to be perfectly honest.
Come on...how many threads get posted here every week with people ranting about how you can't help what you are or aren't attracted to, and how you can't make yourself be attracted to something you're not? Color me skeptical.
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