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Dating should be fun. While I thought her remark about your entertainment budget was stupid and just awful, you may have startled her by your bad manners of asking her out for drink(s) at an expensive bar and then telling her to pay.
Despite your opinion on it, the rules of etiquette about "who pays" are well established and very clear. You are not ever going to find an etiquette expert that will tell you anything different. If you can't afford to pay for expensive drinks then don't invite your dates out to expensive bars. Simple.
If you don't trust or care about "etiquette experts", here's an article on "who pays" from askmen.com, written by and for single men in particular.
I think you should pay more attention to your manners with regards to dating. It will help improve the impression you make. Poor manners are a deal breaker for lots of people.
I paid for the drink that I invited her out to have. It was part of our bet, and I fulfilled my end of it.
I don't agree with the philosophy that every time you ask a person to hang out that you need to pay for everything of theirs for the night. As I explained in a previous post, there are exceptions to this: special occasions, first few dates, birthdays, future romantic evenings/dates. But to expect it otherwise any time someone says "Hey, let's go out tonight" is just plain entitled.
I invited her out to fulfill my end of the bet (the one drink) and I made that clear to her prior to asking her to meet. I was not in the wrong here.
You had one drink, she had three drinks, and the bill was close to 100 dollars?
We both had three drinks each. I paid for four of them (three of mine, one of hers) as per our bet terms. That was the reason I asked her to go out, and I told her that.
It was apparently a more upscale cocktail lounge. I had never been there before. It's one of those trendy places that people talk about that I figured was worth checking out.
I paid for the drink that I invited her out to have. It was part of our bet, and I fulfilled my end of it.
I don't agree with the philosophy that every time you ask a person to hang out that you need to pay for everything of theirs for the night. As I explained in a previous post, there are exceptions to this: special occasions, first few dates, birthdays, future romantic evenings/dates. But to expect it otherwise any time someone says "Hey, let's go out tonight" is just plain entitled.
I invited her out to fulfill my end of the bet (the one drink) and I made that clear to her prior to asking her to meet. I was not in the wrong here.
That's how you feel about it, I understand that. You don't agree with the common rules of etiquette that are considered appropriate by well-mannered people. Your choice.
I would speculate that you are going to limit yourself to women who are on the same level, women who also don't care about manners. If that's okay with you, then it's okay with me too! Live well, be happy.
Last edited by Butterflyfish; 01-22-2015 at 02:35 PM..
That's how you feel about, I understand that. You don't agree with the common rules of etiquette that are considered appropriate by well-mannered people. Your choice.
I would speculate that you are going to limit yourself to women who are on the same level, women who also don't care about manners. If that's okay with you, then it's okay with me too! Live well, be happy.
Get off it, lady. I've taken this woman on several dates and have paid for each one of them in their entirety. I bought her the drink I agreed to in the bet. Don't try to make it look like I'm not doing enough.
Some of you women act so damn entitled it's disgusting. YOU have to ask us out. And now since YOU asked us out, YOU have to pay for everything. If this is what I'm avoiding by not dating women of your ilk, then I say I come out the winner by avoiding spending time with a bunch of soul-sucking, entitled moochers who are more interested in what I can buy for them than who I am as a person and what kind of supportive partner I can be for them. Absolutely disgusting and distasteful.
OP, you might discuss with your friend going dutch in the future, so that she knows what to expect. Having secret rules doesn't tend to work too well. It's certainly reasonable at this point to have a general agreement about sharing expenses. Then when you feel like treating her as a special treat, you can. But you shouldn't have to keep shelling out indefinitely, as if money grows on trees.
Get off it, lady. I've taken this woman on several dates and have paid for each one of them in their entirety. I bought her the drink I agreed to in the bet. Don't try to make it look like I'm not doing enough.
Some of you women act so damn entitled it's disgusting. YOU have to ask us out. And now since YOU asked us out, YOU have to pay for everything. If this is what I'm avoiding by not dating women of your ilk, then I say I come out the winner by avoiding spending time with a bunch of soul-sucking, entitled moochers who are more interested in what I can buy for them than who I am as a person and what kind of supportive partner I can be for them. Absolutely disgusting and distasteful.
Damn that's hot. There's the missing passion. A little bit mean but honest to how you feel. I didnt think you could feel anything. I bet if you werent typing behind a computer youd be raising your voice a little bit, too, no? Hot.
Get off it, lady. I've taken this woman on several dates and have paid for each one of them in their entirety. I bought her the drink I agreed to in the bet. Don't try to make it look like I'm not doing enough.
Some of you women act so damn entitled it's disgusting. YOU have to ask us out. And now since YOU asked us out, YOU have to pay for everything. If this is what I'm avoiding by not dating women of your ilk, then I say I come out the winner by avoiding spending time with a bunch of soul-sucking, entitled moochers who are more interested in what I can buy for them than who I am as a person and what kind of supportive partner I can be for them. Absolutely disgusting and distasteful.
I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you were being forced against your will to date women of my ilk.
You've complained about your lack of success with women not wanting to build a relationship with you. And knowing how important good manners are to most people, I was sincerely trying to offer a kind suggestion and point out an obvious misstep in your approach. I normally wouldn't bother (it's also bad manners to point out other people's bad manners) but I really do want to see you succeed. You seem like a decent man who is perhaps a little rough around the edges. And you did, in fact, ask for advice.
But now you've resorted to ugly name-calling, which was completely uncalled for, and only confirms that I am right about you. Don't worry, I'm done here. I wish you well.
Get off it, lady. I've taken this woman on several dates and have paid for each one of them in their entirety. I bought her the drink I agreed to in the bet. Don't try to make it look like I'm not doing enough.
Some of you women act so damn entitled it's disgusting. YOU have to ask us out. And now since YOU asked us out, YOU have to pay for everything. If this is what I'm avoiding by not dating women of your ilk, then I say I come out the winner by avoiding spending time with a bunch of soul-sucking, entitled moochers who are more interested in what I can buy for them than who I am as a person and what kind of supportive partner I can be for them. Absolutely disgusting and distasteful.
This is how I feel sometimes. I've just never had the balls to say it to women, bravo.
I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you were being forced against your will to date women of my ilk.
You've complained about your lack of success with women not wanting to build a relationship with you. And knowing how important good manners are to most people, I was sincerely trying to offer a kind suggestion and point out an obvious misstep in your approach. I normally wouldn't bother (it's also bad manners to point out other people's bad manners) but I really do want to see you succeed. You seem like a decent man who is perhaps a little rough around the edges. And you did, in fact, ask for advice.
But now you've resorted to ugly name-calling, which was completely uncalled for, and only confirms that I am right about you. Don't worry, I'm done here. I wish you well.
He might've come off very harsh, and mean but he's isn't wrong. Some women (not all, don't get mad) do have an entitlement complex and it is sickening.
This is how I feel sometimes. I've just never had the balls to say it to women, bravo.
Very bold, indeed. You should say how you feel! We might not like it, but damn I love honest savagery.
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