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Sounds like a battle of the egos starting to brew and you're starting to play right along wih her
People generally do not "suddenly" start to focus so intently on others behavioirs unless it's affecting themselves in some way.
Be real.
you where fine with her until this boy, where you not?
It's the only common denominator between you accepting her and "hating" her
Actually no, I wasn't fine until this boy. It wasn't anything as significant as using people and lying, but the more we hung out, there were little things that didn't mesh with how I chose to live my life.
OP, I appreciate the clarification and apologize if I was off-base.
Please note that when I referred to dating a much younger woman, I was talking about Guy #2. You wrote:
Even though its kind of not my business, I decided to give my 2 cents. First of all, my friend is VERY flirtatious (whether she intends to be or not). Sometimes I don't feel like she makes in apparent that she is dating someone, and when she does, she doesn't necessarily act like it. For example, she has this guy "friend" who is much older than her. He has a lot of money and she has been able to gain his invitation to go to the professional football games in our city. He also buys her things and takes her to dinner.
So that is where I got the "making him complicit" thing. I was referring to Guy #2.
Regardless of the details, I do apologize if I misjudged the situation.
OP, I appreciate the clarification and apologize if I was off-base.
Please note that when I referred to dating a much younger woman, I was talking about Guy #2. You wrote:
Even though its kind of not my business, I decided to give my 2 cents. First of all, my friend is VERY flirtatious (whether she intends to be or not). Sometimes I don't feel like she makes in apparent that she is dating someone, and when she does, she doesn't necessarily act like it. For example, she has this guy "friend" who is much older than her. He has a lot of money and she has been able to gain his invitation to go to the professional football games in our city. He also buys her things and takes her to dinner.
So that is where I got the "making him complicit" thing. I was referring to Guy #2.
Regardless of the details, I do apologize if I misjudged the situation.
No worries! But I'll clarify. The guy I was referring to in the example above is the older man that wants to date my friend, but she basically uses him for his money and perks. He knows she is "dating" someone but the problem is that Sam doesn't like their relationship because its inappropriate and that is one thing that causes issues between Sam and my friend.
Actually no, I wasn't fine until this boy. It wasn't anything as significant as using people and lying, but the more we hung out, there were little things that didn't mesh with how I chose to live my life.
I think where people are getting a little confused is that there are 3 guys in this scenario:
- "main" bf, Sam
- guy #1, older guy
- guy #2, guy OP was kinda interested in
I think where people are getting a little confused is that there are 3 guys in this scenario:
- "main" bf, Sam
- guy #1, older guy
- guy #2, guy OP was kinda interested in
Does that make more sense to everyone?
Haha - thanks! I know it can seem a little confusing. But you are exactly right
Your friend sounds like she's got some questionable ethics and morals and I don't think she's all that great of a friend to have to be honest.
While it's nice that you are concerned for Sam, I wonder if you should keep your nose out of it, I've heard story after story where someone does intervene, the couple gets back together, and then you become the bad guy.
Then again, standing by and watching someone get screwed over is tough too.
The other guy that she's using to manipulate Sam isn't really your concern in that you never made it known to her that you liked him, so I guess he's "fair game", but hopefully Sam will find out about her and he'll dump her, and the other guy finds out too, and he becomes freed up and you can snag him.......... sounds like a win win win.......
Your friend sounds like she's got some questionable ethics and morals and I don't think she's all that great of a friend to have to be honest.
While it's nice that you are concerned for Sam, I wonder if you should keep your nose out of it, I've heard story after story where someone does intervene, the couple gets back together, and then you become the bad guy.
Then again, standing by and watching some get screwed over is tough too.
The other guy that she's using to manipulate Sam isn't really your concern in that you never made it known to her that you liked him, so I guess he's "fair game", but hopefully Sam will find out about her and he'll dump her, and the other guy finds out too, and he becomes freed up and you can snag him.......... sounds like a win win win.......
Yes, trust me, I've been there done that with trying to inform someone that they were being cheated on, etc. It has NEVER worked and I have no desire to keep trying until it does. Its just hard to sit back and watch Sam get treated like this.
Last night she sent me a picture of this hand made invitation. Sam had made this Valentine's invitation that gave time/date/place, etc. for their date and sent it through the mail to her. I responded "Omg, that is so awesome" and she said "yea, its kind of sweet".
Yes, trust me, I've been there done that with trying to inform someone that they were being cheated on, etc. It has NEVER worked and I have no desire to keep trying until it does. Its just hard to sit back and watch Sam get treated like this.
Last night she sent me a picture of this hand made invitation. Sam had made this Valentine's invitation that gave time/date/place, etc. for their date and sent it through the mail to her. I responded "Omg, that is so awesome" and she said "yea, its kind of sweet".
That whole part about using the other dude to get Sam "in line" or whatever phrase you used really irked the hell out of me, to be honest.
People like her will get theirs... might not be today, might not be tomorrow, but I'm a firm believer in the universe leveling things out.......
Hopefully she's just young and will grow up and learn and won't use others as toys.......
Somehow I doubt it, most of life doesn't work like a made for TV Lifetime movie where everyone has epiphanies and turns their lives around and become good upstanding citizens..
I tend to have a darker view of humanity.....
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