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Have you ever really wondered why relationships end? What is that final thing or argument which defines the terms of contemplation to stay or go?
Have you ever felt a pain so strong in your heart, that you feel failed and bruised?
Today I have felt all of those things and more…. I am at a crossing in the road, but terrified to cross it and let go of my marriage….
Love is not supposed to hurt….. Then why do I hurt so bad? Why do men speak the words of love but do not act in a loving respectful manner.
I sit here motionless, just typing and trying to figure out where the strength will come from to let go and walk away from a person that has been emotionally abusive for 5 years…
Have you ever really wondered why relationships end? What is that final thing or argument which defines the terms of contemplation to stay or go?
Have you ever felt a pain so strong in your heart, that you feel failed and bruised?
Today I have felt all of those things and more…. I am at a crossing in the road, but terrified to cross it and let go of my marriage….
Love is not supposed to hurt….. Then why do I hurt so bad? Why do men speak the words of love but do not act in a loving respectful manner.
I sit here motionless, just typing and trying to figure out where the strength will come from to let go and walk away from a person that has been emotionally abusive for 5 years…
I just don't know what to do?
Relationships can get ugly when attachment ensues..
People get attached in a way they loose perspective of what really brought them together, they take each other for granted, they treat one another in very impersonal (disposable) manners.. people forget to be loving and kind. People forget to appreciate. They most importantly, forget to cherish what they have for what they have today may be gone tomorrow. And, when it's gone, they are never the same. Some live with regrets. Some don't.
If you're recovering from an abusive relationship, know it wasn't love to begin with.. someone who loves you doesn't hurt you. Many people don't know what love is, because many have been abused, abused by their parents, abused by generations of cyclical patterns of abuse that they don't have a healthy definition of love and marriage. Their values somehow get skewed.
I'm glad you're able to move on. Life starts when you start loving and taking care of your own self.
Have you ever really wondered why relationships end? What is that final thing or argument which defines the terms of contemplation to stay or go?
Have you ever felt a pain so strong in your heart, that you feel failed and bruised?
Today I have felt all of those things and more…. I am at a crossing in the road, but terrified to cross it and let go of my marriage….
Love is not supposed to hurt….. Then why do I hurt so bad? Why do men speak the words of love but do not act in a loving respectful manner.
I sit here motionless, just typing and trying to figure out where the strength will come from to let go and walk away from a person that has been emotionally abusive for 5 years…
I just don't know what to do?
Leaving an abusive person will bring peace, harmony, tranquility & Joy back into your life. It does take some time for your heart to heal & reclaim your power.
I sit here motionless, just typing and trying to figure out where the strength will come from to let go and walk away from a person that has been emotionally abusive for 5 years…
I just don't know what to do?
Where will the strength come from? What's the alternative? Do you have the strength to stay, and take years more of the same, or would it slowly kill you? Be good to yourself, and rescue yourself. Don't abandon yourself. That's what you'd be doing if you didn't leave.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 03-01-2015 at 10:49 PM..
The thing is, often the relationship was dead or unhealthy for a long time. The official end acknowledges the fact that there was something wrong for quite a while.
There is adjustment and processing the new. The hurt is temporary. Only as long as you allow it. It does get better. Far better than the previous five years.
I am really sorry you're feeling hurt right now. It is temporary and will get better. I know that sounds like a platitude, but there's some truth there.
One of the most important things is that you've recognized you need to detach from an abuser. However, it is not the easiest thing to do because there's a reason you chose him in the first place, and a reason why you stayed.
Discovering what it is in you that drove you to being disrespected and mistreated is the key; because if you don't take the time to get to know yourself, the odds are extremely high you'll end up with another abuser.
Don't take my comments as blaming you for him being a bad person; am trying to get you to look within and learn how to build up your self-esteem, self-confidence, self-respect, and affirm yourself so that you can have a fulfilling life. And that if you do choose to be with another man in the future, you'll be emotionally strong enough to select a man who will enhance your life and not destroy it.
So, how do you reach inside and get the answers? You can try reading self-help books, and it may start you on the right track; however, a professional counselor can hand you the tools to get you on the road of personal discovery. It may be a path you continue for the rest of your life; and if so, it's a very productive path with ongoing positive discoveries. And you'll end up being successful within, and that extends to any relationships you have: personal or in the business world.
What the heck do I know about all of this? From first-hand experience. Please feel free to DM me and I'll be more than glad to share.
Leaving an abusive person will bring peace, harmony, tranquility & Joy back into your life. It does take some time for your heart to heal & reclaim your power.
Having a marriage end is like a death. A feeling of failure of the worse degree. It almost seems like a rite of passage in life, there are so many others in life who have gone the way you are going. I know there is nothing that can be said that will ease the pain. Just know that you are not alone, you will feel like you just cannot get through the day with the pain you are feeling. Hearing other people talking and being happy is a reminder of your sadness, their laughter is a knife. You don't deserve to feel this way when you are the one that was wronged.
But the sun will come out tomorrow, life will go on like nothing happened with the rest of the world. Someday you will look back on this time in your life and wonder how you ever got through it and be writing a note to someone who has gone where you have been and understand that life is better now and there are worthy people who actually love back the way you longed for in this relationship.
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