Smokers dating non-smokers or vice versa..how do you deal with it? (guy, husband)

[Clampdown69]

First off, please lets not this thread devolve into people expressing how disgusting and subhuman smokers are.

I'm a smoker, although I'm currently engaged to another person who is a smoker my longest relationship prior to her was with a non smoker. She actually was cool with it and didn't bug me but she did admit to me that before we hung out that she would take a couple of puffs off of a cigarette so the taste wouldn't be so noticeable when we were "tongue wrestling".

However if the unfortunate situation arises in the future when I have to get back out into the dating world, I don't think I would date a non-smoker. I have heard stories from buddies (one of which that I am thinking of is a female) where they start dating someone who doesn't smoke, but knew that the person they were with is a smoker from the beginning and the person would constantly hound them about quitting, about the smell, try and tell them all about lung cancer risks constantly (as if they don't already know that smoking is dangerous to health) and giving them hell about smoking in their own house, or in their car..at a point it would become horrible to constantly be condemned and forced to stop driving and pull over for a smoke break every half hour or having to put on shoes and go outside your house and potentially deal with nasty weather just as often. I could see an anti smoking SO getting angry if you pick up smoking while you're already together or getting caught hiding the habit....but if i am open about my habit from the get go you shouldn't harp on it because you knew what you were getting into.

Non smokers, have/would you date a smoker? How would/did you deal with their habit?

Smokers would/have you date(d) a non smoker? What were the challenges faced, if any?


Thanks

[Dewdroplet76]

No, I wouldn't date a smoker.

[kimbo28]

I don't think I'd date a smoker personally but most of the smokers I know don't smoke in their homes or cars anyway. And I live in the northern reaches of Canada so weather conditions are sometimes quite adverse.

[HappyRain]

Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76

No, I wouldn't date a smoker.

I agree with this. it's hard to breathe around the smoke, and it irritates my eyes. I can't handle it. So going on a date soon as I find out the guy smokes, that's a deal-breaker.

But it is out of line for a non-smoker to date someone they know smokes, then nag them to quit. You shouldn't date someone, with the intent of changing them. It's like saying you wouldn't like your SO having a dangerous job, like police officer of fireman, etc. Then don't continue dating them once you find that out-seems like stuff you'd know early on before any real emotional investment happened.

[Clampdown69]

Originally Posted by kimbo28

I don't think I'd date a smoker personally but most of the smokers I know don't smoke in their homes or cars anyway. And I live in the northern reaches of Canada so weather conditions are sometimes quite adverse.

Well for me, as soon as I get home from work or whatever I change from outdoor appropriate clothes to a red shirt and basketball shorts usually. I live in New York and its snowing, also need a cig at least a few times per hour so it becomes insane for me to have to out on long sleeves, long pants, a coat, and socks and shoes to go outside for 4 minutes every 20 minutes. As for the car, that's unusual. I tend to chain smoke in the car, I remember my dad doing the same and most of my friends

[CrushandnotbeCrushed]

I wouldn't date a smoker; definitely difficult to breath and it's not fair risking MY health for a smoker's habit.

[kimbo28]

I guess people are used to it here because you can't smoke in public places at all and you can't smoke in cars if you've got a kid with you... so people have kind of adapted their lives to going outside to smoke, wherever they may be.

[Sydney123]

I am not an anti smoking zealot, but I wouldn't date a smoker. Each to his own.

[wiseguymn]

I am a smoker, but I do not smoke around anyone who does not, even if the say they don't mind.
It really is no big of a deal to go outside or spend a little time in the car with out a cig and probably better for me.
I also make sure I have gum or mints for the better times.

I have always found as long as you are upfront about smoking and respectful most people don't have a problem with it and if they do they probably don't need to be around me anyway.

I have thought about quitting smoking but then I would have to quit drinking and that is not going to happen. Even though I do that very little now days too compared to my younger days.

[Mikala43]

I've only dated non-smokers in the last 7 years and I smoked. Mostly I just never smoked around them. My husband HATES the smell of smoke with a passion, so I quit smoking. He never asked me to though.