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OP I'm sorry you're feeling rejected, that is a perfectly natural emotion when you break up with someone. Which is exactly what he's doing to you, breaking up. He has no intentions of marrying you, rather his intention is to use you for sex when he feels like it. End your relationship. As someone else said, relationships don't go backwards.
I'm at a crossroad because he still wants to be together but move out and see me a few times a week whenever he has time. He is currently still at our condo but has told me several times he wants to move out and most the time really hostile about it. Myself esteem is really low right now and I feel rejected
He's using his landscaping business as an excuse to leave the relationship. Sorry, but there's realistically no reason he couldn't have both...just to him.
Find out for sure if he still cares...cut out the nooky immediately. See what happens after that.
Where is he moving to?
Does it have more "space"?
What's the reason you can't share that space with him?
You need to be more selfish yourself, stand up for your principals and quit dishing out sex to a man who doesn't figure you're good enough to share his life with...he IS using you...sorry
You ARE being rejected. It hurts, and I'm sorry you're going through that.
The difficult thing to do is to separate the problems here. Yes, your world is slamming to a stop, or at least it seems that way right now. The truth is, though, that you do NOT want to be with someone who does not want to be with you.
He is telling you he cannot commit to you now. The reasons don't matter as much as the fact that you should care about yourself enough to let him go when he says he wants to go and to STOP him from coming back to use you for sex.
He may have his eye on another woman. He may already be involved with someone else. Who knows? But you are going to have to do the difficult thing and make a life for yourself right now.
Do you BOTH own the condo? Are you both paying rent? What is the situation there?
Last edited by BirdieBelle; 03-12-2015 at 09:58 AM..
You're 21.... Don't marry that young. Finish school, do YOU and live your OWN life... A man is more attracted to that than a woman at 21 who wants to jump into marriage... like seriously.
Dump him, focus on yourself and you will meet a man worth your time later on. Stop "needing" a man in your life. You don't.
Relationships dont move backwards. After 3 years together he just wants to go back to living alone?
Dump him. Its not gonna work.
I don't understand the harshness. There are so many factors at play when two people first start living together that there is a good chance of failure at least initially. Best friends or lovers can become enemies when you realize your habits clash. It doesn't even matter if you spend every single weekend together before you moved in together, living together is still not the same. I suggest you don't think of this as the end but a small step backward for a potentially better tomorrow. Personally, I've gone through something like this and was still able to preserve the relationship.
Hes cheating. Hes breaking up with you but wants to keep you on hold for his sex needs. Sorry. Find new, more committed, better man. Three year too long with no ring and share residence, sex, cook food when he want, no ring you have? bad. It over for good.
I side with he's in the process of dumping you, unless you're a distraction to him all the time I don't see why it is neccessary for him to move out. He'll at least try to work it out with you if not for the obvious reason.
My boyfriend 28 and I 21 moved in together after being together 3 and a half years about 2 months ago. I am in nursing school and work part time bartending. He on the other hand owns his own landscaping business and feels like he needs space to focus on his business and feels like he wants to move out to do that... I'm devastated and heartbroken willing to do anything to make it work I feel like he's being selfish. I'm at a crossroad because he still wants to be together but move out and see me a few times a week whenever he has time. Idek what to do or think I love him so much been there through thick and thin helped support him through everything. He tells me he wants to marry me one day but I
Can't accept the fact he's not willing to make it work now. Am I over reacting I feel like he is turning his back on me? He is currently still at our condo but has told me several times he wants to move out and most the time really hostile about it. Last night he said today is the day he will leave so when j go home I expect his stuff not to be there. When he wants sex all that changes and he acts nice and says he loves me... he doesn't even seem like the same person since we moved in together he used to do anything to have me by his side. I helped him get through some rough patches over the last six months and now he's on the road to start succeeding and wants to leave me behind I feel like. He said he still wants to be together when he moves out but I don't know if I can be with him. Myself esteem is really low right now and I feel rejected
This doesn't make a lot of sense. You were together over 3 years, but as soon as you move in together, he wants to move out? Why? His excuse is that he needs "space" to run his business? That's not a reason. If he needs "space", get an apartment with an extra room that he can use as an office.
What happened that you're not telling us, OP? Why did he suddenly get turned off, hostile even, after you two moved in together? Did you get smothering? Something must have happened. Why did he move in with you in the first place? Do those reasons no longer hold? Make what work? It usually doesn't take any effort, not in the first two months. Tell us what's going on.
This doesn't make a lot of sense. You were together over 3 years, but as soon as you move in together, he wants to move out? Why? His excuse is that he needs "space" to run his business? That's not a reason. If he needs "space", get an apartment with an extra room that he can use as an office.
What happened that you're not telling us, OP? Why did he suddenly get turned off, hostile even, after you two moved in together? Did you get smothering? Something must have happened. Why did he move in with you in the first place? Do those reasons no longer hold? Make what work? It usually doesn't take any effort, not in the first two months. Tell us what's going on.
Why you gotta presume that hes moving out because of HER?
You ARE being rejected. It hurts, and I'm sorry you're going through that.
The difficult thing to do is to separate the problems here. Yes, your world is slamming to a stop, or at least it seems that way right now. The truth is, though, that you do NOT want to be with someone who does not want to be with you.
He is telling you he cannot commit to you now. The reasons don't matter as much as the fact that you should care about yourself enough to let him go when he says he wants to go and to STOP him from coming back to use you for sex.
He may have his eye on another woman. He may already be involved with someone else. Who knows? But you are going to have to do the difficult thing and make a life for yourself right now.
Do you BOTH own the condo? Are you both paying rent? What is the situation there?
This is what one might suspect, that he's interested in someone else. But what's the likelihood that he's suddenly get interested in someone else during just 2 months of living together? OP said he took every chance to see her when they were living apart; he didn't seem to be seeing anyone else at that time. If he had been, he wouldn't have agreed to move in together with the OP.
I think something went wrong after they moved in. Maybe the OP's expectations were different than his. Maybe the OP thought they were supposed to be together 24/7, or something. Maybe he discovered that he really appreciated and needed his alone time. There's got to be more to this story.
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