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Although it would never happen, divorce should be illegal. "Why is that M3Guy?" I'm glad you asked.... When you get married and say your wedding vows to each other, that represents your actual bonding to each other. There are people out there(like myself) that have never been married and want to be married. Its not fair that there's a group of people out there that have been married twice, three, four + times and they are just jumping from one bed to another, one alter to another, and one lawyer's office to another. NO! "Till death do us part", remember that? Its way too easy to get married and divorced multiple times. If people couldn't divorce, they would think twice about who they claim they " love" and would choose their partners more wisely. You had your chance to choose and you ****** up and chose wrong. Now deal with it! Stay true to your wedding vows and don't be a coward. People that are getting beat up in the dating world and having a hard time just dating someone don't need the extra burden of divorced people back in the dating pool(that are bringing baggage with them). Stay out of the dating pool! Your making our waters murky. You had your chance, let someone else find their partner! This would be the solution to the dating garbage happening, and the gender bashing happening. People would choose their partners wisely, thus, you won't have the guys marrying women just for looks, or women marrying "bad boys". You are also tearing families apart, making kids suffer, and losing houses and money. For what? Oh because you cant make an educated, and good decision on who you should marry. Stay together and work it out. Remember you married this person because you "loved" them, right? Its too easy to shop for another spouse after you make a wrong decision, rush into, and marry someone whos not fit for you. And single people have to suffer for your mistake by having to sift through you and your ex wife/hubby thats now back in the dating scene. Make divorce illegal and ALL of these problems will cease. Of course this would never happen unfortunately... Just a thought I had. Just curious of what others think. Not blatantly attempting to **** off people who have been divorced. Please share your opinions.
I generally agree. While there are valid reasons for divorce, like abuse or cheating there are many stupid reasons. I wouldn't care except the stupid reason divorced people are the ones who infest the dating pool, and these are the ones with kids. I work with kids and the kids with mental problems all come from divorced families. If you have kids you should make it work in most cases. People divorced several times need to stop it and take a break. Why should people like you and me pay the price of those who failed several times? I've always said the only divorced guys I would date would be a guy divorced once, no kids and a brief marriage. Otherwise nope. Luckily I don't have to deal with any of that.
I generally agree. While there are valid reasons for divorce, like abuse or cheating there are many stupid reasons. I wouldn't care except the stupid reason divorced people are the ones who infest the dating pool, and these are the ones with kids. I work with kids and the kids with mental problems all come from divorced families. If you have kids you should make it work in most cases. People divorced several times need to stop it and take a break. Why should people like you and me pay the price of those who failed several times? I've always said the only divorced guys I would date would be a guy divorced once, no kids and a brief marriage. Otherwise nope. Luckily I don't have to deal with any of that.
Actually, studies have shown when a marriage breaks down, it is usually more detrimental for the couple to "stick it out" and try to stay together than it is if they separate or divorce.
I do agree that people should not be flippant about divorce. Some are. It is not a majority. People should make wiser decisions too, but equally what leads to divorce cannot always be seen, known, or anticipated when a couple decides to marry either. Life happens, things change, and so do people.
Singles are not "paying a price" in the dating world because of people who have been divorced multiple times.
"Till death do us part". This is the responsibility of the parties getting married. So choose accordingly. That's the whole point of marriage. " people change, and things happen"? So you're pretty much saying that "although I got married to this person to be with them forever, Ive become bored with them so I'm moving on"....you're proving my point for me.
So, you can't measure up and compete in the dating world because divorced men are taking all the available women? Quit whining and learn to be a better person.
Who said "death til us part" has to be in the marriage vows? A marriage is a legal union and it can be legally dissolved. There is no contract that cannot be rescinded or modified.
Not to mention that if death was the only way out of a miserable marriage, you just might see a rash of unfortunate "accidents".
Your premise that people would think twice if it was permanent is false. Few people marry with the idea that it may not last. It feels right at the time. It may be right at the time. That doesn't mean it will always be. Nobody knows what the future holds.
I have one life to live and I'll be dammed if I waste it being unhappy to please anyone else.
Although it would never happen, divorce should be illegal. "Why is that M3Guy?" I'm glad you asked.... When you get married and say your wedding vows to each other, that represents your actual bonding to each other. There are people out there(like myself) that have never been married and want to be married. Its not fair that there's a group of people out there that have been married twice, three, four + times and they are just jumping from one bed to another, one alter to another, and one lawyer's office to another. NO! "Till death do us part", remember that? Its way too easy to get married and divorced multiple times. If people couldn't divorce, they would think twice about who they claim they " love" and would choose their partners more wisely. You had your chance to choose and you ****** up and chose wrong. Now deal with it! Stay true to your wedding vows and don't be a coward. People that are getting beat up in the dating world and having a hard time just dating someone don't need the extra burden of divorced people back in the dating pool(that are bringing baggage with them). Stay out of the dating pool! Your making our waters murky. You had your chance, let someone else find their partner! This would be the solution to the dating garbage happening, and the gender bashing happening. People would choose their partners wisely, thus, you won't have the guys marrying women just for looks, or women marrying "bad boys". You are also tearing families apart, making kids suffer, and losing houses and money. For what? Oh because you cant make an educated, and good decision on who you should marry. Stay together and work it out. Remember you married this person because you "loved" them, right? Its too easy to shop for another spouse after you make a wrong decision, rush into, and marry someone whos not fit for you. And single people have to suffer for your mistake by having to sift through you and your ex wife/hubby thats now back in the dating scene. Make divorce illegal and ALL of these problems will cease. Of course this would never happen unfortunately... Just a thought I had. Just curious of what others think. Not blatantly attempting to **** off people who have been divorced. Please share your opinions.
Vowing "til death do you part" is not a legal requirement of marriage, by the way.
It wasn't in my wedding ceremony. We promised to love each other, and we did. We loved each other enough to let each other go when we realized we made a mistake.
M3, your OP is offensive. Who died and made you arbiter of everyone else's relationships? You have never been married. You have no clue what it's like. You've said in another thread that women would date a homeless man living under a bridge before they'd date you. Your words, not mine. Did you ever stop to think about how you might sound to women? Because from where I sit, I can see why that would be. I can't imagine any woman with a kind heart listening to such sour, rigid, judgmental declarations for any length of time. Why don't you concentrate on your own lovelife, whatever that may be? Your soapbox is rotting through and about to give.
I generally agree. While there are valid reasons for divorce, like abuse or cheating there are many stupid reasons. I wouldn't care except the stupid reason divorced people are the ones who infest the dating pool, and these are the ones with kids. I work with kids and the kids with mental problems all come from divorced families. If you have kids you should make it work in most cases. People divorced several times need to stop it and take a break. Why should people like you and me pay the price of those who failed several times? I've always said the only divorced guys I would date would be a guy divorced once, no kids and a brief marriage. Otherwise nope. Luckily I don't have to deal with any of that.
If they can make it work, I agree. However, staying in a bad marriage is not good for children.
When young, we all observe the world around us and soak it in. When a child sees a bad marriage modeled for them day after day, it forms their view of what marriage is, it becomes their normal. They tend to grow up and do likewise.
Im not seeing how any random strangers marriage/divorce has any affect on other peoples dating abilities or any aspect of their life.
Our world is a constant state of flux including environmental changes, social norms, ideologies and relationships. Most people in their life time will change geographic locations, careers even their religious convictions. Why should we be required to remain with the first person we thought we were in love with. A marriage contract does not stipulate particulars like duration. The vows we take are either personal made up vows or religious vows between those two people and their God.
Speaking of God, even in biblical days divorce was allowed in certain situations. This would argue that humans are not infallible and not always particularly good judges of character. Even then it didn't seem right that two people suffer in silence for the remainder of their life. Im not sure what good you think would come of somehow forcing two people to stay together in a relationship against their will.
Should this also apply to children. Make adoption illegal. Force children to stay with abusive, neglectful and drug addicted parents. Force parents to stay with children they didn't want or couldn't care for?
Actually, studies have shown when a marriage breaks down, it is usually more detrimental for the couple to "stick it out" and try to stay together than it is if they separate or divorce.
I do agree that people should not be flippant about divorce. Some are. It is not a majority. People should make wiser decisions too, but equally what leads to divorce cannot always be seen, known, or anticipated when a couple decides to marry either. Life happens, things change, and so do people.
Singles are not "paying a price" in the dating world because of people who have been divorced multiple times.
Actually they are because often as you get older divorced people are the largest group in the dating pool. Many end up settling. Since most have kids they have to deal with that. Many people are flippant and that's a proble!m.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Petunia 100
If they can make it work, I agree. However, staying in a bad marriage is not good for children.
When young, we all observe the world around us and soak it in. When a child sees a bad marriage modeled for them day after day, it forms their view of what marriage is, it becomes their normal. They tend to grow up and do likewise.
But what is a bad marriage? Abuse or cheating, sure but because you're bored or spouse got fat? Kids prefer to have their parents together in most cases.
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