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That's pretty lousy advice, especially if you happen to be dating an equally passive man (or if he's trying to follow the "mirroring" technique, too). Then again, I don't buy into the notion of men needing to be the pursuers.
Quote:
Originally Posted by thatgirl10000
Have you heard of "mirroring?" I admit I read dating articles and go on dating advice sites, and a lot of dating experts advice women to mirror men's actions when a relationship is new. They say to let the man do all the initiating in the beginning. When he calls, you call. When he doesn't, you don't. When he texts, respond. When he doesn't, you don't. You get the idea. Dating experts recommend that women take on a passive role in the beginning, until it is established that the relationship is serious.
I am new to dating after the breakup of my marriage. So I have nothing to turn to but dating advice on the internet. My friends are married and haven't been in the dating scene for years, so they're not a good source of advice either.
That's pretty lousy advice, especially if you happen to be dating an equally passive man (or if he's trying to follow the "mirroring" technique, too). Then again, I don't buy into the notion of men needing to be the pursuers.
According to the articles, the advice is based on the idea that men are born hunters, as a result of evolution.
Texting is not communication. This is a cop out for actually talking to the person.
If you guys are not talking on the phone or skyping at the end of the day then he is just not that into you.
That's silly. You don't know anything about their relationship. And you don't know anything about his life. Maybe he's a writer than comes home from work and writes during the evening. Or maybe he works nights. Or takes his work home with him. Or maybe he likes to any number of things that don't involve talking on the phone all night.
They see each other every weekend. If he's not into her why does he do that?
Wait a min.....he's your boyfriend? And you don't just text/talk him up?
Well, we've only been boyfriend/girlfriend for a month. We started out going out on friendly dates, with him not knowing if I liked him and me not sure how I felt about him either. It was only towards the end of January that we started dating with the understanding that we were attracted to each other. And last month, we decided to become official. But the point is, I am not yet 100% comfortable with him, and he said he's not 100% comfortable with me yet.
Well, we've only been boyfriend/girlfriend for a month. We started out going out on friendly dates, with him not knowing if I liked him and me not sure how I felt about him either. It was only towards the end of January that we started dating with the understanding that we were attracted to each other. And last month, we decided to become official. But the point is, I am not yet 100% comfortable with him, and he said he's not 100% comfortable with me yet.
We've made up our minds that we're going to be in a relationship. It takes time to be comfortable with someone, though. You have to know what makes them tick, and I'm still in the process of learning that about him.
Which is fine if you're a springbok or wildebeest being preyed upon. But it doesn't play out quite so neatly in the dating world, where some women can be assertive and some men can be passive. If you're both passive, you'll get nowhere.
Quote:
Originally Posted by thatgirl10000
According to the articles, the advice is based on the idea that men are born hunters, as a result of evolution.
I always liked to let the guy initiate the first few dates. I found when dating that if I had a date with a guy and then I was always the one setting up the dates/doing the asking that he just wasn't that into me, or he would go along but wasn't interested in a relationship (which was my goal). I think if you sit back at the beginning and let the guy set the pace, you can get a good feel for how interested he is. However, once you're actually in a relationship there is NO reason not to initiate dates and conversation. At that point it should be 50/50. Yes, you might get hurt by putting yourself out there, but if you don't fully put yourself out there, then you will never know a really good relationship.
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