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I don't see anything wrong with wanting to remember the names of the people you've slept with. It's not like she's keeping sex tapes so she can watch them over and over or anything.
So Ive been dating this german girl for over a year and a few weeks ago I asked her to marry me. Everything was going great even though we had to split for a while (she lives in Germany and I live in Mexico).
Im moving to Germany for her, leaving my company, my family and my friends behind to be with her because she says she cant live away from her parents.
A week ago we were facetiming and she brought up her "sex partners" list to the conversation. I knew she had boyfriends before me and also not boyfriend guys who she slept with, with which Im ok giving that I was highly sexually active before meeting her.
After learning about this list, I told her it makes me very uncomfortable that she keeps a list that reminds her of her past sex partners and relationships, so I asked her to get rid of it.
Her response was a negative. She said that it was important to her to keep that list because in 20 or 30 years she wants to know the names of the guys with whom she slept with in order for her not to feel like a *****.
I responded telling her that she doesn't need to know that, that all that is in the past and she should let it go. I also told her that it was very important to me for her to make that list disappear.
She keeps saying no, even though that might always be a problem between us.
What you guys think? Am I being irational or is she? Is it really worth it to jeopardize our relationship for a list? And by the way, I think girl keeping such lists is not classy and lady-like.
Thank you
"A woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets."
Even if she threw "the LIST" away, she would still know who she slept with. Get over yourself.
You are no *****yourself. You are holding your "GF" to a double standard.
Are you sure you want to marry her?. Promiscuous women get bored with monogamous relationships sooner rather than later. I won't be surprised if after a year or so of the marriage, she comes with a "I need some time to myself, I'm going to Turkey for a couple of weeks".
If she want to be honest expect "I want an open marriage" or "I would like to have a threesome with my coworker"
Are you sure you want to marry her?. Promiscuous women get bored with monogamous relationships sooner rather than later. I won't be surprised if after a year or so of the marriage, she comes with a "I need some time to myself, I'm going to Turkey for a couple of weeks".
If she want to be honest expect "I want an open marriage" or "I would like to have a threesome with my coworker"
Just my two cents
That's what people say, but it's not necessarily true, nor is it true of formerly promiscuous men. Once people meet someone who blows them away, they transform, and settle down, becoming very devoted. They feel so fortunate to have found their special person, everything else fades into the past. I've never heard of people keeping a list, though.
I don't see anything wrong with wanting to remember the names of the people you've slept with. It's not like she's keeping sex tapes so she can watch them over and over or anything.
It would really be no different than a guy keeping his sex tapes with previous women tucked away in a box in the garage.
What if that list was a diary? Some people keep intimate diaries. Maybe if you think of that list as a mini diary, it would be easier to accept it and forget about it. I still think it was wrong for her to speak to you about it though. No one would like to speak about that and she shouldn't mention it to you again.
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