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Your first argument is about love. not marriage. I'm arguing against marriage. everything you say about love is true, but you don't need to be married to have all those things.
The odds of remaining married are around 50%. If you win, you stay married, possibly even happily. If you lose, and you're a man, you can potentially lose a hell of a lot more than a woman that you used to love and respect. You can lose access to your own children, which is heartbreaking, you can lose half or more of your assets, pension, business, savings (these things happen often). And then, to top it all off, once you're financially crippled, your prospects for dating again take a huge blow. The horror stories about what men often go through in a divorce are well known. I don't even need to post examples. we all know it.
What kind of woman would insist on a man taking such a risk? A good woman? No.
A man has more right to peace of mind than a woman has a right to a marriage contract that promises her goodies at the end. Any woman who insists on marriage after being aware of a man's concerns should be avoided like the plague. Big red flag right there. Emotional blackmail is very obvious.
I called it even before you started talking stupid: commitment phobia! You want the benefits of a relationship, but none of the responsibility. Good luck with that.
I called it even before you started talking stupid: commitment phobia! You want the benefits of a relationship, but none of the responsibility. Good luck with that.
What responsibility? The responsibility of being forced to hand over half my assets? It's funny how men are painted as being the ones who are afraid of commitment, yet it is men who propose to women. And isn't it funny how some women claim to be all for commitment, yet they support a legal system that allows them to keep half of a man's assets in the event that it doesn't work out. I'm accused of wanting one foot in and one foot out, yet women every day marry men with the peace of mind of knowing that if it ends, she'll get his house, half his assets and pension, the kids, etc etc. If you're not woman enough to love a man for who he is, rather than wanting the security blanket of a biased legal system, then you have no business having a boyfriend in the first place, and no right to be loved.
And men are the ones afraid of commitment? Don't make me laugh.
And don't forget, OP, your imaginary wife will steal those imaginary kids from you and you won't see them again! You might not even be the father of these imaginary kids but you will have to pay all your money and live in a cardboard box.
Continue to fight the good fight, OP. On the internet, under multiple user names, where it really matters.
What responsibility? The responsibility of being forced to hand over half my assets? It's funny how men are painted as being the ones who are afraid of commitment, yet it is men who propose to women. And isn't it funny how some women claim to be all for commitment, yet they support a legal system that allows them to keep half of a man's assets in the event that it doesn't work out. I'm accused of wanting one foot in and one foot out, yet women every day marry men with the peace of mind of knowing that if it ends, she'll get his house, half his assets and pension, the kids, etc etc.
And men are the ones afraid of commitment? Don't make me laugh.
Also, the way to avoid what you're scared of isn't to not marry; it's to avoid any long-term relationships altogether. And don't move in with a woman. Let me know how that works.
OP said "The odds of remaining married are around 50%... If you lose, and you're a man, you can potentially lose a hell of a lot more than a woman that you used to love and respect. You can lose access to your own children, which is heartbreaking, you can lose half or more of your assets, pension, business, savings (these things happen often). And then, to top it all off, once you're financially crippled, your prospects for dating again take a huge blow."
Could you be overlooking the fact that this scenario can also play out for couples who have lived together unmarried for a certain length of time? Simply not getting married won't necessarily save you from ruin. Maybe see a lawyer and you and your fiancee draw up a contract.
Last edited by dmills; 07-18-2015 at 09:45 AM..
Reason: I guess others are arriving there too. lol
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