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Nowadays, with birth control, more work opportunities and more equality for women, etc, etc, there are more and more couples who decide to stay childless.
However, reading many testimonies online and taking in count how society reacts i wonder how difficult it really is for those couples to cope with the social pressure to have kids.
I know at least 4 couples (all in their early 40s) who decide to stay childless by choice,and i wonder how they cope. In this case, all this people are from literary circuits, are either writers or university proffesors involved with the art scene in where a lot of people are like this, so they definitely arent judged or pressured by their peers and friends. But im sure they are pressured by their parents (that grew up in a different time with different values) and by other people with not so progressive views. Others outside the intelectual/arty circuit have it much worse.
I think it might be very difficult to cope with this in a more conservative place like the US, in where tradition seems to be more prominent. And, outside of big cities, it must be really very hard to cope with the constant social pressure.
I would like to read opinions of couples or single people that are childfree by choice, and other people that know this couples and see how they are mistreated.
Why would anyone feel the need to "cope" with any pressure from society?
What a silly waste of time, no one is obligated to make any part of "society" happy and honestly who the hades cares what
"society" deems appropriate or acceptable when it comes to children.
None of "society's" business and they should stay out of everyone's bedroom but their own.
We have friends who never had children and no one mistreats them and never has.
I am a Mother, we had one child, but I would never think to look down upon someone who decided not to have children. That is a very personal decision, and a decision no one else has any business sticking their noses into imo.
It's a totally personal choice. And why anyone would get up-in-arms about that is beyond me.
Me personally, I want no children at all. I don't care for kids. I don't even want pets. I like animals. I have just had my feel of pet deaths over the years.
But I wouldn't hate on couples who do want kids. A couple's children, or lack thereof, only effects them. I could understand parents being disappointed with having no grandchildren. But in the end, still it's not their call.
There are millons and millons of articles and even forums and movements of the "childfree by choice" when the pressure by society and being mistreated and judged is the #1 topic. So its clearly an issue and it takes courage and bravery and would love to hear some stories.
There are millons and millons of articles and even forums and movements of the "childfree by choice" when the pressure by society and being mistreated and judged is the #1 topic. So its clearly an issue and it takes courage and bravery and would love to hear some stories.
I've got to be honest though, I don't really think it's that big of a deal to not have kids. I've never seen too many people ever make a fuss about it.. or ever talk about someone they knew who didn't have kids.
If you think the United States is conservative... well... then I guess I need to start devoting more of my time to studying space travel
Usa is very very conservative. You must not know many places.
But this isnt the topic of discussion. I think childfree people are judged EVERYWHERE in the world, and its a relarively new thing thats been growing a lot and an interesting topic to discuss.
My husband and I, age 66 and 74, are child free. Neither of us got any pressure or judgmental remarks from our parents or other people. The closest I got to "pressure" was one time when my mother remarked that she wished I'd had kids so I could have to put up with all the stuff she had to deal with! She was joking, but just barely.
The biggest issue I've had is that couples with children find it harder to relate to us, and vice-versa. After my classmates, friends and first cousins started having families, we just didn't seem to have as much in common any more and drifted apart. People with children seem to feel most comfortable socializing with other parents because they have more in common. Kids (or at our age, grandkids) are a never-ending source of conversational topics. Choosing not to have children does tend to limit your social circle to other non-parents since the majority of folks do procreate.
Parental status also has an impact on where you live. As a child free couple, we would feel very much out of place living in the suburbs, where every house has four bedrooms, 2 1/2 baths and a family room, every driveway has an SUV with baby seats in the back, and every yard has pedal cars, swing sets, kiddie pools or trampolines in the yard. We don't belong to that tribe and would feel like outsiders. City living is a better fit.
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