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Anyway, it's a good idea to use two types of birth control no matter what. If you can't fully trust the woman you are having sex with to use something too, well, don't have sex with her and date better women. It's not like someone is holding a gun to your head.
I have a friend who is living with a girl and their son, except that it was planned by her without him having a say. And still he has stuck around although I can't imagine why anyone would want to do that. She poked a hole in a condom and bingo he's a dad. I know another guy in a similar situation but he walked away and I say good for him. I don't want this to happen to me and I would like to know how to avoid it.
You know damn well how to avoid it! Open up and put on the condom yourself without anybody else having access to it before you have sex.
These posts are so frickin' fake it's hilarious.
Seriously! How did this thread already get 4 pages worth of posts?
Sorry but how do you not see a girl poking holes in your condom???? Start sleeping with a better class of women, women who have their heads on straight won't pull this sort of stuff.
First of all, a condom doesn't need a hole poked in it to be less than totally effective. We were using those and definitely no one wanted me to get pregnant when it happened. The condom wasn't visibly damaged when it went on or came off, either. We had no reason to believe it had failed but it did. They just are not a 100% perfect solution. I view them as a means to lower your odds of getting a disease, but even then...it just helps your chances, it's not an absolute.
I've been following news of Vasalgel for years, hoping they'd get it through the red tape and on the market. I hear the predecessor, RISUG has been doing well in India for a while now. For those who don't know and don't feel like Googling it, Vasalgel is an injection of a sort of polymer I believe, it blocks sperm but not semen, and it's about as effective as the Pill is for women. And easily reversible with another shot to dissolve the stuff whenever a guy wants. It's a one time procedure, and from what is known so far, very safe and effective.
Being a Mom of teenage sons, I've been very keenly aware of the unequal footing of males when it comes to really effective birth control options. Hormonal products for women have a lot of side effects potentially, too. I very much hope that they get Vasalgel on the market. A man should have as much right as a woman to decide he wants to have sex and not reproduce.
Why are you guys sleeping with trash. These women have to be the bottom of the barrel to think a life living in poverty on food stamps and child support checks they have to obtain by poking holes in condoms is living the life. And their poor children growing up knowing their father never wanted anything to do with them. Hated the thought of them so they would leave the country.
Why don't you guys be more responsible and try not to create a child that will be doomed to poverty and abandonment. Is that really the legacy you want to leave behind?
First of all, she wasnt trash. Cute girl, in a (or the) top college in her field, great career so far..shes actually sort of a local celebrity.
Secondly, I have no clue if she actually poked holes. She claimed that condoms werent 100% and I shouldnt have been too shocked. But, what I do know is that it seemed like I was being trapped. If a girl is on birth control, supposedly, and we were wrapped..uhh, how in the world? I mean, I guess it is possible. Idk.
Third, if by trying not to create a kid you mean do more than birth control and condoms, youre addressing most every guy.
The poking a hole in the condom thing seems like some kind of urban legend. I couldn't imagine being with a woman that would actually do something like that.
Maybe I'm naïve, I don't know.
I'm sure it's happened, but it's the exception not the rule.
Bring your own condom and put it on yourself. Reconsider if the woman brought a hatpin or a sewing kit to bed.
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I have a friend who is living with a girl and their son, except that it was planned by her without him having a say. And still he has stuck around although I can't imagine why anyone would want to do that. She poked a hole in a condom and bingo he's a dad. I know another guy in a similar situation but he walked away and I say good for him. I don't want this to happen to me and I would like to know how to avoid it.
It's not rocket science brother - you need to take responsibility when having sex:
1) Only be with a woman you trust not to be setting you up.
2) Resist the urge to orgasm inside
3) Use protection that you provide and reliably discard (and keep in a safe place used and unused to avoid your concerns from becoming a reality).
You do those things and you won't have a problem.
...Now let's be real though... being a guy, you will have sex with anyone you can and when given the mating signal by an attractive potential mate your judgement will suck when determining whether to trust them. Also you will in the moment want to orgasm so bad deep within her that pulling out will become a distant idea that never comes to fruition - you may try to justify it as an accident but deep inside you knew what you wanted and did exactly that. Realistically you also won't want to put forth the energy to keep your condoms under lock and key, heck you probably won't even want to use one when the time comes because you will want to feel her skin to skin since that is the way making love feels the best.
So when all is said and done, you're going to have a baby with this woman you barely know, cannot trust, who is likely fertile as heck, and you can look forward to 18 years of child support payments or living in what will likely be a horrible and unfulfilling marriage you will perceive as a ball and chain on your life's dreams so that you can be a full time daddy to your child. You will spend your evenings thus forever browsing relationship forums advising young men - use protection, don't have sex, yada yada...
It's either all that, don't have sex, or get yourself a vasectomy potentially forever killing the idea of having your own children.
What everyone else said. Bring your own protection, and don't sleep with a woman that you can't trust.
I think that it really sucks that one of the guys mentioned in the OP just walked away from his responsibilities. Anyone that's old enough to have sex should know that, even with so-called "permanent" birth control, that sex carries some risk of pregnancy, barring a a hysterectomy. It's disgusting to me that so many guys want all of the fun and none of the responsibility. If you're going to perform an adult act, make sure that you can handle the adult consequences.
Or get a RealDoll. They can't get pregnant.
Honestly, some of these posts are disheartening and the reason that I had to take a break from the relationship boards.
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Reconsider if the woman brought a hatpin or a sewing kit to bed.
