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I guess looking back he really was into me. For nearly a year he tried, and tried, and tried to get to know me. To talk, to engage. The stares, the smiles. The flushing red and constant preening. Signs of jealousy when I would talk to other guys. The stuttering when he would try to talk to me. The staring around my hair and face. The disappointing looks when I wouldn't talk to him. The candy....
But I kept him at a distance. Always. Gave nothing.
He is a little younger than me and we are not the same race. I admit I discriminated a bit. Thought he was a bit too different for us to ever have anything in common.
Then she came along. No one ever thought he would date her, but oh they're dating. Put it on his Facebook. When I discovered I was pissed...Why?
I guess I admit I do feel for him a little (feelings started to come a couple of months ago when I began to learn more about him). Oh, I don't know. I'm confused. Why do I care?
The weekend he started dating her he would still stare at me intensely. Could see him from my peripheral. Maybe he never really even liked me?
I won't bother him. He's got a girlfriend.
Perhaps my insecurities got the better of me. Him and the girlfriend are the same race, age, and just overall have much more in common.
Anybody ever been in this situation? How did you get over the person? Especially when you had such a strong chemistry between you?
I guess looking back he really was into me. For nearly a year he tried, and tried, and tried to get to know me. To talk, to engage. The stares, the smiles. The flushing red and constant preening. Signs of jealousy when I would talk to other guys. The stuttering when he would try to talk to me. The staring around my hair and face. The disappointing looks when I wouldn't talk to him. The candy....
But I kept him at a distance. Always. Gave nothing.
He is a little younger than me and we are not the same race. I admit I discriminated a bit. Thought he was a bit too different for us to ever have anything in common.
Then she came along. No one ever thought he would date her, but oh they're dating. Put it on his Facebook. When I discovered I was pissed...Why?
I guess I admit I do feel for him a little (feelings started to come a couple of months ago when I began to learn more about him). Oh, I don't know. I'm confused. Why do I care?
The weekend he started dating her he would still stare at me intensely. Could see him from my peripheral. Maybe he never really even liked me?
I won't bother him. He's got a girlfriend.
Perhaps my insecurities got the better of me. Him and the girlfriend are the same race, age, and just overall have much more in common.
Anybody ever been in this situation? How did you get over the person? Especially when you had such a strong chemistry between you?
It doesn't really sound like there was strong chemistry. It just sounds like he was interested in you and you miss the attention now that he's with someone else.
Women love when men are clamoring over them (attention), but once men finally realize how stupid they were acting the phewl, and getting nothing in return, they move on; yeah, women hate that.
It doesn't really sound like there was strong chemistry. It just sounds like he was interested in you and you miss the attention now that he's with someone else.
I am thinking this. You liked the attention and found it flattering that a guy liked you so much. But then when he got a girlfriend, seemed he gave up on you and found someone else to focus said attention on. So now, it may be your ego that's bruised, especially if you don't like the girl for whatever reason, and you feel he got over you with her.
Nothing new. Sometimes we like attention, even if not the people giving it. I was that way in HS, but not so much now. Now, if I don't like the guy, I don't care for the attention. lol
Normal reaction in my opinion. The fact that it was a year of him in your life hitting on you and you didn't pay him any attention shows you're not into him. So stop right there and don't let your mind play tricks on you. You'll be over any anger you're feeling now very soon. Just take a deep breath and remind yourself you're not into him.
Now the reason this is occurring is because you're human, and you're a woman (no offense). You should pick up a book related to psychology and decision making and wanting. A woman typically doesn't want a man that other woman don't want. This same phenomenon occurs with technology and tangible objects. Why do iPhones sell out the day they come out? And whoever doesn't get one is really upset...
The first reason for the phenomen you're experiencing, in my opinion, is because he made himself too available to you. He really really liked you. I've seen this as a turnoff before with woman myself, no matter how good looking I am. And I tend to keep my distance even if I'm super excited and really really into someone (at least for a while).
The second reason is because we want what we can't have like I said above. Though the self image portion of it. You may be second guessing yourself and wondering now why he doesn't want you anymore (well he tried for a year, holy crap that's a long time.
To sum it up... You may think oh wow, someone wants him. What do they see that I don't? Am I missing the worth that he has? But no need to fear, take a deep breath and realize if you wanted him, you would have had him. A year is way too long to not be able to decide if you're attracted to and interested in someone.
It doesn't really sound like there was strong chemistry. It just sounds like he was interested in you and you miss the attention now that he's with someone else.
you say you would ignore him and yet you still noticed his forlorn expression on days you weren't acknowledging him. You were playing a game, and your toy has been taken away.
You're likely to try to encourage flirtation now, as he obviously found this new young lady to be more attractive than you and (though Hell would freeze over before you'd admit it) you feel threatened. Have some class and don't pursue this. I only say that because this assault to your ego wounded you enough to post about a guy of a different race that you never wanted to begin with.
Last edited by BobCaldwell; 08-20-2015 at 06:13 PM..
I am thinking this. You liked the attention and found it flattering that a guy liked you so much. But then when he got a girlfriend, seemed he gave up on you and found someone else to focus said attention on. So now, it may be your ego that's bruised, especially if you don't like the girl for whatever reason, and you feel he got over you with her.
Nothing new. Sometimes we like attention, even if not the people giving it. I was that way in HS, but not so much now. Now, if I don't like the guy, I don't care for the attention. lol
Thanks VC.
I am mad at myself though, because I guess now I realize how good of a catch he was and that I may never have a chance again. I think I really messed up.
I guess it really is more of an ego thing, but there are some real feelings mixed in here.
lol, see how easy that was? I do understand the feeling. I was upset when I found out that a guy I dated had gotten married. I even made a thread about it. Had I really given him any thought prior to finding out that he had gotten married? No, I hadn't. I also never really liked when my former guy friends had girlfriends even though I had no romantic interest in them myself.
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I do understand the feeling. I was upset when I found out that a guy I dated had gotten married. I even made a thread about it. Had I really given him any thought prior to finding out that he had gotten married? No, I hadn't. I also never really liked when my former guy friends had girlfriends even though I had no romantic interest in them myself.
