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I guess I was curious how normal this is. I've never proposed or been engaged before.
Quote:
Originally Posted by IowaConservative
Why are you here then? Just do what she wants then and be another yes man out there. One day when she wakes up and decides she is bored with you, she will take you to the cleaners for half of everything you got. Good luck!
I was like this with my ex. Why? Because he kept saying that he loved me and wanted to marry me - but then every time we had a serious discussion about it, he would drag his feet. It made me very insecure. And because of that insecurity, I would start trying to get him to propose. And then we almost broke up. And then we decided to stay together. And then he proposed. And then I met my husband and called off my wedding. The truth is, my ex and I just weren't right for each other. That's probably why he was dragging his feet. Or maybe we weren't right because he dragged his feet. Well, no - there were a myriad of other issues. But point being, I wasn't nearly as insecure with my husband because he was really excited to marry me. It was a totally different feeling.
I guess I was curious how normal this is. I've never proposed or been engaged before.
At your age after 2 yrs of dating, most women are expecting to get engaged. So if you haven't hinted around to it then the conversations/pressure will start. Since you don't want to break things off, then the next step would naturally be to marry her.
At your age after 2 yrs of dating, most women are expecting to get engaged. So if you haven't hinted around to it then the conversations/pressure will start. Since you don't want to break things off, then the next step would naturally be to marry her.
Do you want to marry her? If the answer is no, don't do it. Even if it hurts you both in the short term, it will save years of agony.
If you do want to marry her, have a frank conversation with her and let her know what you are feeling. Tell her that you love her and want to commit, but are worried that there will be pressure and crying during the marriage. That you want to be able to discuss all of your issues together and be true partners. (Or whatever you feel like discussing)
My husband and I were under pressure to marry, and I felt insecure sometimes. That all went away after we got engaged, because we were right for each other. We are very well matched so we are happy. Marriage won't fix a relationship or make someone happy.
I was like this with my ex. Why? Because he kept saying that he loved me and wanted to marry me - but then every time we had a serious discussion about it, he would drag his feet. It made me very insecure. And because of that insecurity, I would start trying to get him to propose. And then we almost broke up. And then we decided to stay together. And then he proposed. And then I met my husband and called off my wedding. The truth is, my ex and I just weren't right for each other. That's probably why he was dragging his feet. Or maybe we weren't right because he dragged his feet. Well, no - there were a myriad of other issues. But point being, I wasn't nearly as insecure with my husband because he was really excited to marry me. It was a totally different feeling.
Thanks for the response. I hope that's how it will work out with us as well. We are a good match, I just don't want this to continue during marriage.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Meyerland
Do you want to marry her? If the answer is no, don't do it. Even if it hurts you both in the short term, it will save years of agony.
If you do want to marry her, have a frank conversation with her and let her know what you are feeling. Tell her that you love her and want to commit, but are worried that there will be pressure and crying during the marriage. That you want to be able to discuss all of your issues together and be true partners. (Or whatever you feel like discussing)
My husband and I were under pressure to marry, and I felt insecure sometimes. That all went away after we got engaged, because we were right for each other. We are very well matched so we are happy. Marriage won't fix a relationship or make someone happy.
BTW we've been together two decades, with a minute amount of crying. ;-)
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