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If you give her the ring and get engaged, then you need to very soon set a definite date, otherwise it will not look good. Hopefully you've talked everything over and have agreements on things like children, where to live, goals etc, and you're both clear on these issues. Nothing makes for a worse marriage than starting off married and then finding out your have major differences because you didn't talk about everything ahead of time. Good luck to you.
Thanks! Yes, we are pretty close on all our life plans.
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Originally Posted by augiedogie
If you give her the ring and get engaged, then you need to very soon set a definite date, otherwise it will not look good. Hopefully you've talked everything over and have agreements on things like children, where to live, goals etc, and you're both clear on these issues. Nothing makes for a worse marriage than starting off married and then finding out your have major differences because you didn't talk about everything ahead of time. Good luck to you.
I honestly can't blame your ex at that age...kudos for finding your true life mate.
He was 3 years older. And honestly, I just don't think he's the marrying type. He's had a girlfriend for years now but I don't think they are married. We just had different things we wanted out of life. And I'm much happier being with someone that is excited to be sharing his life with me.
Yeah, that's about as far apart as you can be if he didn't want to get married. That was more about him than you.
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Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76
He was 3 years older. And honestly, I just don't think he's the marrying type. He's had a girlfriend for years now but I don't think they are married. We just had different things we wanted out of life. And I'm much happier being with someone that is excited to be sharing his life with me.
Thanks. I guess I'm worried is this how it's going to be all the time? Pressure to do things with crying? Her only flaw is that she is insecure.
Not only insecure, but she seems to suffer from anxiety. It's normal for a woman to want to get married, but crying and panic is not normal. Nor is being "scared of marriage" a "normal guy thing." Sure, some guys are apprehensive about settling down, but fear is not the typical response when you've met the person you want to spend your life with.
Society dictates that marriage is the natural next step for people of a certain age who have been dating for a certain length of time. However, you and she need to do what's right for the two of you. Marriage isn't something to do simply because you're caving in to pressure from all sides. I hope you do some serious self-reflection before you propose. And you and she should have a real heart-to-heart about things.
As for whether this behavior may evolve into a pattern, it wouldn't be surprising if this anxiety surfaces throughout wedding planning, when she is ready to get pregnant and you're not, etc.
Break this off right now. Do you know how many women are there in this world? 3.5 billion. You don't have to deal with this kind of BS, you should be in charge of your own future and destiny, only fools try to please people.Please, end this before you make the biggest mistake of your life!
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Originally Posted by IowaConservative
Why are you here then? Just do what she wants then and be another yes man out there. One day when she wakes up and decides she is bored with you, she will take you to the cleaners for half of everything you got. Good luck!
I would agree with these quotes. OP-based on what you say, I would not propose. I would just let things ride out and see where they go. A woman should not need to pressure a man for engagement. No hysterical crying fits needed. If a man wants to make the long term commitment, he will. So far, you haven't. Keep it that way.
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