Nervous About Sex with New Partner (boyfriend, how to, men, attracted)
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Next week, I'm meeting up with a guy (see thread Man Flying Out to Meet Me). I feel sick to my stomach in regards to having sex with a new partner. I was with my ex-boyfriend for 10 years and haven't had sex in about 2 years.
Can anyone give any advice on how to calm down and relax about this? I have so many thoughts running through my head about how this is going to start. Do I let him make the first moves?
If it feels right, go for it. If it doesn't feel right, don't. The first time around, it will likely be awkward. In that you are getting to know someone, it will be the first time. It is a time of learning more than anything.
It is normal to feel this way. I think you'll be fine. If the two of you are sexually attracted to each other and can communicate well, things should work.
Next week, I'm meeting up with a guy (see thread Man Flying Out to Meet Me). I feel sick to my stomach in regards to having sex with a new partner. I was with my ex-boyfriend for 10 years and haven't had sex in about 2 years.
Can anyone give any advice on how to calm down and relax about this? I have so many thoughts running through my head about how this is going to start. Do I let him make the first moves?
This is the first time you're meeting him and you're planning already to have sex with him? I wouldn't, LD or not. Sex is not fun when you don't know each other. I would stop thinking about it right yet and first wait to see if you even like him in person and are attracted to him (you are NOT obligated to "repay" him for flying in by having sex with him).
Of course you are nervous, he's a stranger whether you've been talking online or not. Wait until you feel comfortable.
It's not the first time they're meeting, per the other thread.
I would say, though, that if you're uncomfortable to the point where you have an upset stomach over this, it's not something you're particularly ready for. You need to address some things, because the thought of intimacy with somebody you profess to be interested in as an adult shouldn't be causing you anxiety to the point of physical illness. That's a big old red flag that something just isn't right.
Well, I would say you're right to assume he's going to want to have sex. Men don't fly out to meet a chick just to hang out.
And while you're not obligated to have sex with him, ask yourself this very important and yet very simple question: do you want to have sex with him? If you do, the reasons for your anxiety are nonsense, right?
Realistically, just do your normal grooming stuff so you feel clean if you decide to be intimate with him, maybe take care of yourself before you meet up (if you know what I mean...it works for us guys), and have a glass of red wine to loosen up. And just see where it goes from there.
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