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My friend married a very wealthy and good looking dr who was a total mommas boy. His mother would stay at their house 2 nights a week even though she lived less than an hour away. The four went on their honeymoon (mother and father) and all other trips as well. Not only that but when my friend would decorate their house (husband and wife) the mother would come in and redecorate it to HER taste. My friend got what should could before divorce and got out. Too bad, hes totally hot!
It seems to be worse when cross-cultural marriages are made. Women married to men of Asian and Indian descent relate some real horror stories of finding out, after the vows, how they're expected to bow to matriarchal attitudes. The MILs expect their sons to not establish an independent home with his wife, instead everyone stays under the same roof with the MIL being the one who dictates how her DIL and son will live.
I can't believe the potential wives don't see what they're getting into.
Great thread! I've read all of the posts, and I feel for you women who have ended up with these "Momma's boys." I commend those of you who did put your foot down and refused to tolerate this kind of behavior any longer. These men ARE sick, and should be avoided at all costs. I should mention that I am a single man in my late 20's.
May I suggest some books that you women would be interested in reading (some of you may have read these books already, but I'll list them anyway):
-"No More Mr. Nice Guy!" by Robert A Glover
-"The Way of the Superior Man" by David Deida (No, the book is not about men being superior to women, but about men who are of SUPERIOR quality. Basically, the men that you women were with, were INFERIOR men, if that clears things up at all).
The first book that I listed is actually a self-help guide that helps men (basically, the momma's boys you women ended up with) recover from the problems that have caused them to be that way in the first place, and become real men. The second book takes things to a deeper level. Generally, a man who wants to break free from the "Momma's boy" syndrome, will start with "No More Mr. Nice Guy!," work all of the exercises in the book, then move on to "Way of the Superior man." If the man really wants to change and works through all of the exercises (and perhaps with the help of a therapist and even a support group of some sort), he will change.
So, get those two books. You'll be glad you did. If you are still with your "Momma's boys," give them a copy of "No More Mr. Nice Guy!" first (It's best if they start with "No More Mr. Nice Guy," do all the exercises, then move on to "Way of the Superior Man"). But, the consensus is, if he doesn't accept the help, isn't aware of his problem and doesn't want to change, then it's time to get rid of him (and I don't blame you ladies at all). Unfortunately in this day and age, there aren't very many good men out there, so I wish all of you the best in finding the kind of men that you all deserve.
Oh, and before I finish. There's one more book all of you will also enjoy. It's titled: "Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway" by Susan Jeffers. It's an excellent self-help book for both men and women. Infact, "Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway" should come right after "No More Mr. Nice Guy" for the men who are working on their recovery.
A woman that CANNOT respect the bond between a man's mom and him doesn't deserve to be in his life, period. I understand that when a man takes a woman to be his wife, he is to cut the cord. His mother was there long before she (the wife or girlfriend) came on the scene so women who make a man choose between her and the mother are being downright ridiculous. These are women that WOULD NOT get the time of day from me. In my case, my grandparents told me that if I ever get married, that my responsibility is to my wife, first and foremost. I can respect that advice.
I had a really bad experience with a momma's boy that doting on him mom and treated me like sh*t. She was always #1.
Never again. My husband loves and respects his mom but she is nowhere near the center of his life. I'm also not close with my mom so I have no issue with a guy that has cut the cord.
A woman that CANNOT respect the bond between a man's mom and him doesn't deserve to be in his life, period. I understand that when a man takes a woman to be his wife, he is to cut the cord. His mother was there long before she (the wife or girlfriend) came on the scene so women who make a man choose between her and the mother are being downright ridiculous. These are women that WOULD NOT get the time of day from me. In my case, my grandparents told me that if I ever get married, that my responsibility is to my wife, first and foremost. I can respect that advice.
The signs are always there when you are dating a momma's boy yet the woman is foolish enough to then marry the m-boy. I'm sorry really now you realize it??
The signs are always there when you are dating a momma's boy yet the woman is foolish enough to then marry the m-boy. I'm sorry really now you realize it??
No but I did date a few...once I determined a mommas boy I was out of there!! I had a wonderful MIL and we knew our boundries! I knew as long as I made her son happy I was golden...she knew as long as her son was happy with me to keep her mouth shut!
I'm liable to flip the script and mention that some men wouldn't mind, to an extent that a woman was a certified "daddy's girl or mamma's girl."
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