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But that's exactly what you seem to be advocating: withholding sex to keep a man interested.
I said I didn't before. This is now.
I don't know why it seems like mens' brains work that way, but relationships where something 'long term' or even 'forever' springs out of first-night sex seem the exception rather than the rule.
I don't know why it seems like mens' brains work that way, but relationships where something 'long term' or even 'forever' springs out of first-night sex seem the exception rather than the rule.
Honestly, I would take a good, long look at how you are coming across to men, and why you keep attracting that type. Of course men want sex. So do most women. However, I've never had the length of relationship effected by how soon we had sex.
...you shouldn't sleep with a man on the first date (unless you WANT it to be a one-night stand).
However, on the few occasions that I've said "no, no, no" and didn't sleep with a man for a very long time...they literally said they wanted to marry me.
...if you really want the man for the long term, don't let him touch you AT ALL for at least 6 months to 2 years (depending on how long you estimate he'll try for you)?
OF COURSE you should be treated special because you're female...in my experience.
The men who complimented me at every turn, bought me gifts, bought me several dinners, and generally invested effort and money into taking care of me, stuck around the longest.
The men who invested little to nothing were one-offs and friends with benefits.
Whoever gives more, cares more.
Is it good advice to watch a man and see how much he gives to you time and energy-wise, how much he spends on you, etc.?
Thirdly, I have also noticed that if a man truly loves you, then nothing else matters.
For example, one man left me when I told him that I had been in a threesome. But the men who stayed with me the longest, even though they didn't exactly like it...they didn't let it tear us apart.
Any man who leaves because he doesn't like something you do/did, never loved you anyway. And that includes if you cheat.
I took out all the anecdotal stuff and left your "rules" for analysis, and the only thing I can say is that what one person says is "love" another could say is an emotional disorder, especially for #3.
I also am suspicious of your timeline. Have you had another username here?
My main advice to you is not to count anything you "learned" at age 15.
Any man who leaves because he doesn't like something you do/did, never loved you anyway. And that includes if you cheat. This isn't my personal experience, but I had a friend who was cheating on her boyfriend of several years and he was well aware of it. But he tolerated it. I'm NOT saying that strong love gives you license to cheat and do whatever, but I AM saying that strong love means stuff like that isn't the end. I was actually kind of in awe of my friend's relationship, because not many relationships can withstand cheating, and he acted like it was just a part of their relationship.
That guy is a sucker. "Stuff like that" is the end. A one off indiscretion is forgivable with work. A person who is consistently cheating? No thanks.
Honestly, I would take a good, long look at how you are coming across to men, and why you keep attracting that type. Of course men want sex. So do most women. However, I've never had the length of relationship effected by how soon we had sex.
"To gain a more scientifically verifiable answer to whether or not sex early on is detrimental to a relationship, Busby “recruited 2,035 heterosexual individuals who had an average age of 36 and were in their first marriages” and administered them a questionnaire that revolved around relationship satisfaction and stability.
Next, the participants were asked to self-report whether or not they had sex early in their relationship, late in their relationship or waited until marriage.
According to Bryner, “relationships fared better and better the longer a person waited to have sex, up until marriage, with those hitting the sack before a month showing the worst outcomes.”
Statistics showed when compared to the “early” group, those who waited until marriage rated:
1. Relationship stability 22 percent higher.
2. Relationship satisfaction 20 percent higher.
3. Sexual quality 15 percent better.
4. Communication 12 percent better."
I'm by no means an abstinence advocate (obviously), but waiting a bit appears to have something going for it. I know this was a small study, but it's reflecting something.
Started at 15. This counts ALL of my relationships since then. Your assumptions are weird ("many years" needn't necessarily mean a decade or something ridiculous), and your reading comprehension skills need work, because this advice is for myself, not for other people. Based on the fact that you didn't actually correct anything, I doubt you have much to contribute to this discussion anyhow.
You are correct, I refuse to waste my time on those who believe THEY already have ALL the answers.
By the way, IF you have had that many sexual encounters in 9 years you are already considered known to many.........
Bless your heart.
"To gain a more scientifically verifiable answer to whether or not sex early on is detrimental to a relationship, Busby “recruited 2,035 heterosexual individuals who had an average age of 36 and were in their first marriages” and administered them a questionnaire that revolved around relationship satisfaction and stability.
Next, the participants were asked to self-report whether or not they had sex early in their relationship, late in their relationship or waited until marriage.
According to Bryner, “relationships fared better and better the longer a person waited to have sex, up until marriage, with those hitting the sack before a month showing the worst outcomes.”
Statistics showed when compared to the “early” group, those who waited until marriage rated:
1. Relationship stability 22 percent higher.
2. Relationship satisfaction 20 percent higher.
3. Sexual quality 15 percent better.
4. Communication 12 percent better."
I'm by no means an abstinence advocate (obviously), but waiting a bit appears to have something going for it. I know this was a small study, but it's reflecting something.
Really, an Elite Daily article?
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