No sex for way too long! (girl, partner, definition, social)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Oh it will happen, but you have to not put it up on a pedestal. Fact is for a lot of women over 35-40 (there is no exact clean cutoff) if you want to have sex, you might have to have a couple one night stands, or take emotion out of the equation. If you wait to be "swooned" or whatever random movie thing you think is going to happen before having sex, you are probably going to have to settle a LOT, or you will be waiting many years unfortunately. Is it fair? Who knows, but it's just reality.
This is cute.
I'm the last person who expects to be "swooned" (I think you mean wooed) because I know no one will do it.
Sure, I could probably go out and find a really disgusting guy to have sex with, but that's no fun and also gross.
And since I'm apparently also disgusting, it's just not worth my time. I have other ways to scratch the itch that take less effort.
Trust me, I've never put it on a pedestal. I become annoyed with women who call it their "special flower" and stuff like that. I have no problem with casual sex in theory; there's just too much legwork involved for me to actually get it.
I'm the last person who expects to be "swooned" (I think you mean wooed) because I know no one will do it.
Sure, I could probably go out and find a really disgusting guy to have sex with, but that's no fun and also gross.
And since I'm apparently also disgusting, it's just not worth my time. I have other ways to scratch the itch that take less effort.
Trust me, I've never put it on a pedestal. I become annoyed with women who call it their "special flower" and stuff like that. I have no problem with casual sex in theory; there's just too much legwork involved for me to actually get it.
Opinions vary, and everybody's got one. Thus, no right or wrong answers.
I believe sex held too preciously is ridiculous. A woman who will not give up her special flower until Mr. Perfect comes along will watch that flower wither and die because nobody will ever live up to that test.
By the same token I believe sex given too freely diminishes a person -- male and female alike. Despite this we live with a Catch-22 of social evaluation whereby a man is supposed to value himself YET is expected to be experienced by the time he weds, and IS (despite what many women would say) judged harshly with regard to his sexuality and forbidden personal vulnerability; yet a woman is expected to be "virginal" and "untainted" -- just as stupidly unrealistic, but possibly leading to the notion of "women you marry vs. women you date".
It's tough all over, ain't it just?
I'd say "respect yo'self" is about all one can try and accomplish, the chips falling where they may.
Also, I think he meant "swooned", not wooed. Wooing may not lead to a swoon. The delicate flower is still waiting for her swoon, however many wooers she may encounter.
Like I just said, NO RELIGION, retracting the atheist part. I grew up in a cult and this is a total dealbreaker. I know I'm not alone, especially on these forums with this issue. It is a HUGE factor if both aren't on the same page in a relationship!!!!! I'm not looking for a ONS. I want a relationship!!!
OP, I don't know what part of the SW you live in, but it shouldn't be that difficult to find someone who's atheist or non-religious, unless you're in a conservative community. Try liberal enclaves, like Santa Fe NM. Or look around your area for "alternative" churches, like the Unitarian Universalists, and other similar groups. It sounds like you're doing your best, otherwise, to mix and mingle. Try the monthly "art walk" in your town, the gallery openings, and the like.
Opinions vary, and everybody's got one. Thus, no right or wrong answers.
I believe sex held too preciously is ridiculous. A woman who will not give up her special flower until Mr. Perfect comes along will watch that flower wither and die because nobody will ever live up to that test.
By the same token I believe sex given too freely diminishes a person -- male and female alike. Despite this we live with a Catch-22 of social evaluation whereby a man is supposed to value himself YET is expected to be experienced by the time he weds, and IS (despite what many women would say) judged harshly with regard to his sexuality and forbidden personal vulnerability; yet a woman is expected to be "virginal" and "untainted" -- just as stupidly unrealistic, but possibly leading to the notion of "women you marry vs. women you date".
It's tough all over, ain't it just?
I'd say "respect yo'self" is about all one can try and accomplish, the chips falling where they may.
Also, I think he meant "swooned", not wooed. Wooing may not lead to a swoon. The delicate flower is still waiting for her swoon, however many wooers she may encounter.
How so? Not disagreeing or agreeing, just asking for you to expand on this a bit.
Swooned or wooed, I expect neither. Would be nice, but I'm old and jaded enough to know it's not happening.
What sucks is putting yourself out there, being vulnerable and taking the risk to get involved only for it to go nowhere. Or, at least not in the direction you'd like..... Casual sex, fwb, fb, all that is all too easy to come by, but it's just so boring after a while. All the "good stuff" happens on the other side of line drawn in the sand. I'm in the same boat where I just want more- greater intimacy, deeper emotion/exploration. F-ing is so empty ~ it actually makes you long for being made love to..... That surface level is just so void of any & everything. I'm tired! /rant
What sucks is putting yourself out there, being vulnerable and taking the risk to get involved only for it to go nowhere. Or, at least not in the direction you'd like..... Casual sex, fwb, fb, all that is all too easy to come by, but it's just so boring after a while. All the "good stuff" happens on the other side of line drawn in the sand. I'm in the same boat where I just want more- greater intimacy, deeper emotion/exploration. F-ing is so empty ~ it actually makes you long for being made love to..... That surface level is just so void of any & everything. I'm tired! /rant
I actually had a FB for a short period of time who got off on pretending we were "making love"--in other words, we'd tell each other we loved each other and act like a committed couple while we were in bed together, but we really weren't. It was fun at the time because I was newly single and enjoying my solitude, but it was nice to hear all these nice things, even if it was just make believe.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
