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Well, a few years back, my wife and I got back together, and had our second child. For two years prior to us getting back together, we were separated, with no intentions of getting back together. During that time, she slept with three of my friends. Upon getting back with her, her sister's husband filled me in on what happened. I confronted her about it, and after some time, she caved and told me (I didn't tell her who told me, I basically guilt-tripped her into telling me). Well, naturally, I was very hurt by this, and still am three years later. I feel like she betrayed me. She told me she was sorry, and that she regretted it. Well, I brought it back up tonight, and she got very angry. She acted as though she didn't care that it happened, or that I was hurt, though she did yell at me that she is sorry. I have probably brought it up four our five times in the three years since I found out. Tonight was the first night that I broke down and cried, and really tried to push the idea that it still hurts that she did it. I let her know that I never think about anyone else she slept with, because I was having sex during that time as well, and I honestly don't care that she was. I only think of my friends that she slept with. She just honestly seemed to be very cold and insensitive about the situation. I left the room visibly upset for almost an hour, and she never came to check on me. How should I feel about this?
*** I also have a sneaking feeling that she was sleeping with two of them before we separated, but she obviously denies it. Two of them stayed with us at different times, and I worked night shift. I never suspected it then, but now I definitely do.
Well you both agreed to mutually separate before you had sex with other people. So I don't think you have any grounds to argue about that. But the fact that she slept with 3 of your "friends" would totally [bleep]. That is like the lowest thing you can do other than sleeping with your father, brother, any other family members, or the family dog. So I don't blame you for your reaction. Your wife is a total, excuse my language, stupid [bleep] for that one.
Were you and her totally [bleep] up is not either working on fixing or ending the marriage if it couldn't be worked out. I don't understand how you can both still be married to one another, informally separate, and choose to have sex with others and think that was going to help the both of you. Did you both think that would fix you marriage and make it stronger?
The second area were you totally [bleep] up is going back and accepting her when you know fully well that you were not handling the situation very well. If you think you truly forgave her, you really actual haven't because you still are bothered by it 3 years later. I doubt that you will ever forgive her. I know that I wouldn't ever forgive her but I would have never gotten back with her as soon as she had admitted to me that she slept with my "friends". I would never trust her again.
Do you still consider these guys who sleep with your wife as your "friends"? If you do then you really need to consider evaluating your self-worth. Me personally I would have [bleep] kicked their asses for sleeping with my wife even if we were separated. A person who would do that type of [bleep] is no "friend" of mine.
If I was you I would file for divorce and move on. You look like you would never truly forgive her and there is no reason to both live miserably for the rest of your lives because of this.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 11-13-2015 at 12:08 PM..
Reason: Inappropriate language.
Excuse me for being skeptical, but I am always suspicious when someone joins today and has a story that sounds like it belongs in Penthouse "Letters to the Editor".
If this story is true, however, your Wife is really pretty slutty. Not so much sleeping with others, but for sleeping with your friends. Couldn't she find anyone else in the trailer park to have sex with ?
I would divorce her. She made a fatal mistake by having sex with your friends. That's just wrong and crosses the line. It's as if she did it to throw it in your face. Ditch the bit*h.
If it was part of the separation then I think you really have nothing to hold against her.
However.... these are your "friends". They know your marriage is having difficulties and separation is an attempt to save it. Sleeping with your wife is not the way to be supportive.
I think, you have some really trashy friends (quite pathetic, IMO). There's a saying: a mans character is known by the company he keeps. And your lovely wife...i'm not even going to go there. Lol
If you were separated she can do as she pleases. Yes even sleep with your "friends"
Your "friends" on the other hand should of declined sleeping with her but some guys are of the mindset any ship in the storm or I only need a wife for a night. I would never sleep with a buddy's wife. Even if they were separated.
I think bringing it out is one thing. IMO it makes no difference. She was on her own, so she slept with guys. She felt bad and said so when "you called her on it". But you keep bringing it up again and again. And like anyone she's getting tired of it. You have two choices
1. Get back with her and put this thing to bed move on
2. Get out. You keep bringing it up your find yourself separated again.
For two years prior to us getting back together, we were separated, with no intentions of getting back together.
Since you were on the divorce path, she was free to do as she liked.
Sorry that your friends were what she wanted to 'do'.
You need to get over it, or move on.
Oh, and get new friends. The ones you have suck...
Quote:
Originally Posted by FEARtehSPEAR
I was having sex during that time as well
Double standards, eh?
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