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Oh, come on. "Why are you single" is an obnoxious, intrusive question, with an undercurrent of, "You seem nice but something must be wrong with you if you're not already taken." It's rude, and a stranger on a dating site has absolutely no business asking such a thing. What if someone divorced after an abusive marriage? What if someone was raped and had to go through 5 years of counseling before dating again? What if someone's spouse died, or was murdered?
Women--or men--don't have to make excuses for boorish questions, bad manners, and social ineptitude. If you want to play on OLD, you need to be at the top of your game, not the bottom and using it as a crutch because you can't handle an actual conversation in real time with another human being.
This. I find it the same way a very rude question. It's like they're saying something is wrong with you if you aren't with someone. You're a stranger, you don't know this person, and people have the gall to ask people offensive questions like this?
I question whether this applies to men who use the phrase "pretty lady." It might be better if they didn't breed.
Men who use the phrase "pretty lady", have pretty much cheated natural selection, thanks to advances in modern medicine. Few hundred years ago, they would likely never live to be 2 - if they were lucky enough to survive their own birth. Thankfully, women are really really good at making sure these types of guys never get to reproduce.
This. I find it the same way a very rude question. It's like they're saying something is wrong with you if you aren't with someone. You're a stranger, you don't know this person, and people have the gall to ask people offensive questions like this?
Internalizing negativity may be the reason why people are always looking for love in the first place but remaining single. Same how people are always looking for a job but take the "you are not qualified" statement as there is something wrong with you. You turn that into a positive and stop searching and reaching for excuses.
Secret, if you take an old and tired opening statement and turn it into a negative by thinking that the person is saying something is wrong with you, then you are simply making excuses and following the herd. You are then looking for every opportunity not to commit. It's a defense mech. You need to blow past that and look for substance. It's the same for all things in life.
This. I find it the same way a very rude question. It's like they're saying something is wrong with you if you aren't with someone. You're a stranger, you don't know this person, and people have the gall to ask people offensive questions like this?
This is so weird, I would have totally taken it the opposite way. As in, "You are SO incredibly awesome that I'm thunderstruck, and pretty much thrilled, that you're available."
Not "there's something wrong with you" but more along the lines of "there must be something wrong with all the guys of the world that one hasn't managed to snap you up."
Is part of the interpretation perhaps in how we see ourselves? And also how we see others and their motives (i.e. someone wants to compliment v. someone wants to get in a slam)?
Men who use the phrase "pretty lady", have pretty much cheated natural selection, thanks to advances in modern medicine. Few hundred years ago, they would likely never live to be 2 - if they were lucky enough to survive their own birth. Thankfully, women are really really good at making sure these types of guys never get to reproduce.
What the hell are you talking about, LOL...."women are really really good at making sure these types of guys never get to reproduce..." "they'd never have lived to be two..." If the latter true the propensity would already have been deselected (naturally) centuries earlier, and if the former were true then there wouldn't be loads of appreciative, loving husbands/dads out there.
I've been called pretty lady before. By younger and older guys alike. I think it's sweet, I love it.
What the hell are you talking about, LOL...."women are really really good at making sure these types of guys never get to reproduce..." "they'd never have lived to be two..." If the latter true the propensity would already have been deselected (naturally) centuries earlier, and if the former were true then there wouldn't be loads of appreciative, loving husbands/dads out there.
I've been called pretty lady before. By younger and older guys alike. I think it's sweet, I love it.
Look at infant death rates over the last few centuries. It has only been a couple hundred years that pretty much all babies survive birth, especially here in 1st world countries. Weak genes used to never survive and natural selection ensured that only the strongest did. You may have been called a pretty lady by some guys, but I can guarantee you, that you didn't sleep with any of them. Case in point.
Look at infant death rates over the last few centuries. It has only been a couple hundred years that pretty much all babies survive birth, especially here in 1st world countries. Weak genes used to never survive and natural selection ensured that only the strongest did. You may have been called a pretty lady by some guys, but I can guarantee you, that you didn't sleep with any of them. Case in point.
So how is appreciating a woman's body "weak genes"?
If anything I'd think those were more masculine. As in: "I know pretty when I see it...and I'm being bold and SAYING it."
You are wrong, indeed I slept with my "pretty lady" guys (not every one, LOL, but not every one was an actual date/relationship). So I'm sorry, but you're wrong there. In fact, the most recent guy to do this routinely (compliments, "pretty," "gorgeous," etc.) has been my husband for 14 years and the proof that I've actually slept with the guy would be our two children. Plus the fact that he hasn't filed a non-consortium annulment...
I'm sorry, you're just wrong on this score. What can I say? But you have preconceived notions. I "didn't" sleep with any guys who complimented me. That's your decision sight unseen, which is weird as you don't even know me, but is very, VERY telling as far as your overall attitude goes: Women are like X, women only respond to Y, that's my story and I'm sticking to it sort of thing...conflicting evidence notwithstanding.
So how is appreciating a woman's body "weak genes"?
If anything I'd think those were more masculine. As in: "I know pretty when I see it...and I'm being bold and SAYING it."
You are wrong, indeed I slept with my "pretty lady" guys (not every one, LOL, but not every one was an actual date/relationship). So I'm sorry, but you're wrong there. In fact, the most recent guy to do this routinely (compliments, "pretty," "gorgeous," etc.) has been my husband for 14 years and the proof that I've actually slept with the guy would be our two children. Plus the fact that he hasn't filed a non-consortium annulment...
I'm sorry, you're just wrong on this score. What can I say? But you have preconceived notions. I "didn't" sleep with any guys who complimented me. That's your decision sight unseen, which is weird as you don't even know me, but is very, VERY telling as far as your overall attitude goes: Women are like X, women only respond to Y, that's my story and I'm sticking to it sort of thing...conflicting evidence notwithstanding.
But that aside...you're still wrong.
Yeah right. If you don't think that I'm capable of separating reality from fiction, you really picked a wrong dude. Obviously you sleep with your husband, but if I had to guess, you didn't pick him for his sexual prowess, but more than likely for his provider abilities and him being a good father to your kids. Guys who act like weaklings and put women on a pedestal, get left out in the cold and women ignore them each and every time.
Yeah right. If you don't think that I'm capable of separating reality from fiction, you really picked a wrong dude. Obviously you sleep with your husband, but if I had to guess, you didn't pick him for his sexual prowess, but more than likely for his provider abilities and him being a good father to your kids. Guys who act like weaklings and put women on a pedestal, get left out in the cold and women ignore them each and every time.
Oh hells no, I picked my husband because he was kinky.
I'm not being sarcastic.
Or lying.
That's what attracted me to him.
Then I found out he was smart and holy poop. It was the whole enchilada. He is smmmarrrrrrrrrrrrrrt. OMG the combination. Yeah, he won me fast.
He's still kinky. (Well, and smart, obviously.) And BTW, when we married, I made a hell of a lot more money than he did. I was the provider, his income was secondary.
P.s.:
Quote:
Yeah right. If you don't think that I'm capable of separating reality from fiction, you really picked a wrong dude.
Yup, right on cue. LOL. The whole denial thing: "It doesn't fit my reality and it means maybe I have to be nice to women, so...I'll just decide she's lying..." See my post above where I predicted this. Oh well. Good luck going forward! I hope you find what you're looking for.
Look at infant death rates over the last few centuries. It has only been a couple hundred years that pretty much all babies survive birth, especially here in 1st world countries. Weak genes used to never survive and natural selection ensured that only the strongest did. You may have been called a pretty lady by some guys, but I can guarantee you, that you didn't sleep with any of them. Case in point.
Stop being ridiculous. You know you're being ridiculous. A mindset that would call someone a "pretty lady" has no correlation with their babies surviving or not surviving birth. Some of the guys who use that term have very healthy kids, fyi.
CD-R, unbelievable, some days. Just
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By younger and older guys alike. I think it's sweet, I love it.
