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Green flags are that he isn't pretentious, has a decent relationship with his family, doesn't claim to be "damaged" (sooo tired of men not being able to get over their BS), has a decent grasp of grammar (no one is perfect but at least know the different between "their," "there," and "they're), and must like animals.
These green flags are all the opposite of what my last boyfriend had. I need to start listening to my gut.
I'm 2/5 here. 40% isn't passing in the state of Ohio
- Likes 4-legged fuzzy creatures and definitely wouldn't want to live without them in his life. Strong preference for someone who doesn't specifically identify as a "cat person" or "dog person".
- Is a gentleman.
- Shares similar political views as me, and does not feel the need to make them the center of conversation.
- Likes to learn new things and isn't afraid to go out of his comfort zone.
Well talked about.
Positive when talking about others.
Even exes say good things about them.
Caring (genuine)
Gets along great with parents
Finds humor in tough situations
I know people want their mate to be compatible in all sorts of ways, but at times it seems that most are looking to date a mirror image of themselves. Unless you are homosexual, I am not sure why you would want to. I find differences between myself and my GF fascinating, and couldn't care less that she is a democrat and I lean more to the conservative side. It allows us to learn about each other and have many lively discussions because of it. Dating someone who is too much like yourself, would be incredibly boring.
There has been significant psychological evidence to indicate this about both physical attraction (as perceived) and match-up likelihood.
People want someone who matches; but to both support your assertion regarding pleasurable differences and to veer safely away from the self-love trippiness of the mirror-image idea while not attempting to refute it, I've always thought the best matches could be illustrated thusly:
Take your right hand and place it palm-down on a table, fingers spread. Then take your left hand and place it atop your right, matching everything up as closely as you can.
The middle fingers will match almost perfectly.
These are the traits you and your significant other share in a fashion which is spot-on. You love Dr. Who, so does she, and you get into happy little battles over trivia. Saturday being designated pizza night sounds not merely brilliant, but so perfect to each of you it almost goes without saying. She thinks your Star Trek t-shirts and ownership of a high-quality microscope you actually use is nothing short of sexy. You think her predilection for hats and choice of recreational fiction actually causes you to be emotionally erect.
The ring and index fingers are a near-match, but not spot-on.
These are the traits one of you is daft about while the other enjoys them, but isn't quite bonkers -- yet you are able to enjoy them together, and find your way. On road trips one of you really enjoys being the driver, while the other doesn't; but the other is an awesome navigator and co-pilot, knowing how to juggle a map AND all the pertinent beverages and foodstuffs, knowing how to feed you fries while in traffic while still watching road signs. One of you loves Cons as though they are oxygen, the other likes them and is ready to leave at least four hours sooner than you -- but instead of badgering, designates a meeting place where they shall read while you go on your Nerdling way. You don't think of each other and see things you'd like to buy them, you see things which make you think of them, and so you want to buy them these "perfect" gifts for no purpose other than making them happy.
The thumbs and pinkies... well, they don't really match up at all, very much go off in other directions.
These are the things unique to each of you, and to some extent you enjoy and cater, but you'd honestly rather not be there, or doing this, so you come to a mental truce, devise a stratagem for YOU-time, privacy rather than secrecy; you'll share, but you know this is not the other person's thing however precious to you it may be. These are differences which can enter the shared life and add spice, without necessarily being shoved down your gullet. These are the areas where modifications and compromise are successfully managed lest you be pulled apart by differing yet very real personal desires and needs.
If that sounds like too much credit given thumb or pinkie, try living without either for a while and see what kind of adjustments you have to make.
Anyway, that's my illustration, and I like it because hands -- well, they're important. Otherwise the best couples wouldn't so often hold one another's.
There has been significant psychological evidence to indicate this about both physical attraction (as perceived) and match-up likelihood.
People want someone who matches; but to both support your assertion regarding pleasurable differences and to veer safely away from the self-love trippiness of the mirror-image idea while not attempting to refute it, I've always thought the best matches could be illustrated thusly:
Take your right hand and place it palm-down on a table, fingers spread. Then take your left hand and place it atop your right, matching everything up as closely as you can.
The middle fingers will match almost perfectly.
These are the traits you and your significant other share in a fashion which is spot-on. You love Dr. Who, so does she, and you get into happy little battles over trivia. Saturday being designated pizza night sounds not merely brilliant, but so perfect to each of you it almost goes without saying. She thinks your Star Trek t-shirts and ownership of a high-quality microscope you actually use is nothing short of sexy. You think her predilection for hats and choice of recreational fiction actually causes you to be emotionally erect.
The ring and index fingers are a near-match, but not spot-on.
These are the traits one of you is daft about while the other enjoys them, but isn't quite bonkers -- yet you are able to enjoy them together, and find your way. On road trips one of you really enjoys being the driver, while the other doesn't; but the other is an awesome navigator and co-pilot, knowing how to juggle a map AND all the pertinent beverages and foodstuffs, knowing how to feed you fries while in traffic while still watching road signs. One of you loves Cons as though they are oxygen, the other likes them and is ready to leave at least four hours sooner than you -- but instead of badgering, designates a meeting place where they shall read while you go on your Nerdling way. You don't think of each other and see things you'd like to buy them, you see things which make you think of them, and so you want to buy them these "perfect" gifts for no purpose other than making them happy.
The thumbs and pinkies... well, they don't really match up at all, very much go off in other directions.
These are the things unique to each of you, and to some extent you enjoy and cater, but you'd honestly rather not be there, or doing this, so you come to a mental truce, devise a stratagem for YOU-time, privacy rather than secrecy; you'll share, but you know this is not the other person's thing however precious to you it may be. These are differences which can enter the shared life and add spice, without necessarily being shoved down your gullet. These are the areas where modifications and compromise are successfully managed lest you be pulled apart by differing yet very real personal desires and needs.
If that sounds like too much credit given thumb or pinkie, try living without either for a while and see what kind of adjustments you have to make.
Anyway, that's my illustration, and I like it because hands -- well, they're important. Otherwise the best couples wouldn't so often hold one another's.
That is brilliant and I couldn't agree more. Love it.
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The OP's requirements are way too specific. Let's boil things down to the basics:
1) Honest. If someone has an elastic definition of what is truth, you'll spend the duration of the relationship wondering if you can trust whatever that person says.
2) Considerate of everyone. A person who is nice to you but isn't nice to the waiter or the counter help at the dry cleaners is not a nice person. That person will eventually turn on you.
3) Passionate. Life is way too short to spend it with the wishy-washy. A person who has no passions in life will make for a really dull companion down the road.
4) Self-Discipline. Drinks too much regularly? Can't get anywhere on time? Blows his or her money? Blurts out whatever he or she thinks the moment the thought occurs to them, regardless of consequences? These are people who are walking train wrecks, people who will eventually drag you into the drama of their lives, chiefly because they'll eventually lose control of them.
5) Fun. This in no way conflicts with #4. A person who enjoys life and enjoys others is going to be great to be around.
6) Curiosity about the world around them. I don't care how interesting a person is when you first meet them. If they are not open to new things, new experiences, and new adventures, then they have chosen to stop growing as a person. You will wind up hating being shackled to them.
7) Secure. This should speak for itself. Insecure people make life a living hell for their partners, for you expend huge amounts of mental energy just dealing with their neuroses.
8) Good conversationalist. If you start running out of things to say a few weeks down the road, imagine what it will be like a few months or years.
9) Respectful. Of you opinions, even if they don't agree. Of your personal space and feelings. Of your career. And a host of other things. In truth, this should be #1, but I'm too lazy to edit this list.
10) Pheromones. If the other person doesn't crank your tractor physically, then forget Items #1-9.
There has been significant psychological evidence to indicate this about both physical attraction (as perceived) and match-up likelihood.
People want someone who matches; but to both support your assertion regarding pleasurable differences and to veer safely away from the self-love trippiness of the mirror-image idea while not attempting to refute it, I've always thought the best matches could be illustrated thusly:
Take your right hand and place it palm-down on a table, fingers spread. Then take your left hand and place it atop your right, matching everything up as closely as you can.
The middle fingers will match almost perfectly.
These are the traits you and your significant other share in a fashion which is spot-on. You love Dr. Who, so does she, and you get into happy little battles over trivia. Saturday being designated pizza night sounds not merely brilliant, but so perfect to each of you it almost goes without saying. She thinks your Star Trek t-shirts and ownership of a high-quality microscope you actually use is nothing short of sexy. You think her predilection for hats and choice of recreational fiction actually causes you to be emotionally erect.
The ring and index fingers are a near-match, but not spot-on.
These are the traits one of you is daft about while the other enjoys them, but isn't quite bonkers -- yet you are able to enjoy them together, and find your way. On road trips one of you really enjoys being the driver, while the other doesn't; but the other is an awesome navigator and co-pilot, knowing how to juggle a map AND all the pertinent beverages and foodstuffs, knowing how to feed you fries while in traffic while still watching road signs. One of you loves Cons as though they are oxygen, the other likes them and is ready to leave at least four hours sooner than you -- but instead of badgering, designates a meeting place where they shall read while you go on your Nerdling way. You don't think of each other and see things you'd like to buy them, you see things which make you think of them, and so you want to buy them these "perfect" gifts for no purpose other than making them happy.
The thumbs and pinkies... well, they don't really match up at all, very much go off in other directions.
These are the things unique to each of you, and to some extent you enjoy and cater, but you'd honestly rather not be there, or doing this, so you come to a mental truce, devise a stratagem for YOU-time, privacy rather than secrecy; you'll share, but you know this is not the other person's thing however precious to you it may be. These are differences which can enter the shared life and add spice, without necessarily being shoved down your gullet. These are the areas where modifications and compromise are successfully managed lest you be pulled apart by differing yet very real personal desires and needs.
If that sounds like too much credit given thumb or pinkie, try living without either for a while and see what kind of adjustments you have to make.
Anyway, that's my illustration, and I like it because hands -- well, they're important. Otherwise the best couples wouldn't so often hold one another's.
What are some indicators that things might go well? Things you see that warm you up to a person? The more obscure, the better...what is something that you'd notice that says that they're the kind of person you'd want to be with.
* She's well read. Can quote some of the classics or Shakespeare. * She meditates * She knows and can explain the differences between Hatha yoga, Vinyasa Yoga, and others. * She smiles and laughs often and is pleasant with everyone * She's a dog person * She's athletic and very competitive * She has a close knit group of girlfriends who are also her best friends * She has a passion in her life. It can be anything like art, dance, photography, etc. something that she's extremely passionate about, studies, practices and feels that it makes life worth living when she engages in that passion. * She's a tad bit geeky - has an Xbox One, has WoW and LoL account/characters, likes sci-fi movies, chess, cosplay (but not too serious about cosplay) * She's not a big fan of tv or so-called "popular" tv shows. Plus if she watches Game Of Thrones though. * She follows a healthy and clean eating plan, but can appreciate occasional In-N-Out Burger Double-Doubles and knows items on the secret menu.
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