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Animal lover - This one feels too obvious to put here, but too important NOT to. I can't think of a more obvious, clear-cut advertisement for "good person" than someone who genuinely loves animals. Points for owning one. More points for it being a dog (they're a lot of work). Even more for volunteer or paid work that involves helping animals.
Alcohol drinker - Triple points for that alcohol being beer. Obviously, I'm not in search of an alcoholic, but it's been my experience that women who can appreciate liquor correlate to women who like to go out, are social, and know what they want. The beer-drinking subgroup (again, my experience) tend to be more down-to-earth, maybe a "path less chosen" type.
Passion for, and skill at, cooking - I don't think it takes much to be a good cook, but women that enjoy it and have a real desire to do it.....just screams "caregiver" to me, in a good way. Plus, I love food, and I'm dieting right now so I'm thinking about it more than usual.
Attraction to non-traditional celebrities - This is one that might be specific to me, but this has been a solid barometer for whether or not I'll get along with a woman. For every 10 women that want a Channing Tatum, there's that one that pines for Jeff Goldblum. And that's the cool one. My best relationships were with women that burned for Ed Norton, Timothy Olyphant, and John Malkovich, respectively.
Women with a broken past - I hate for this to look like I'm attracted to something cliche like "daddy issues", but I've been through some s**t in my life, and a woman that's a little bit "broken" in the same way that I view myself is super, SUPER attractive.
Bumping this positive, complimentary thread, after all the fear-motivated posts I've been making lately. Written from a straight man's point of view, like the OP's.
Doesn't mind riding buses and trains - In my experience, women who will only drive or ride in a car have a princess complex, unless offset by being down-to-earth in other ways. Willingness to travel in ways other than driving indicates lack of snobbery or being "above" whatever. It also expands the range of activities I can enjoy with her. (This also applies to men: the ones I met who looked down on public transit later turned out to be arrogant and unpleasant.)
Enjoys playing board games and cards - This indicates enjoyment of the tried and true, and not being always insisting on being dazzled by the latest and the greatest. Also being willing to actively participate in an activity to make it more entertaining. Popular contemporary games, like Cards Against Humanity, fit into this category as well.
Low-level reservedness - This is not the same as shyness. But I still prefer someone who takes half hour or so to warm up to new company, until she comes out of her shell and starts enjoying herself. As opposed to a social butterfly who can start working the room within minutes.
Curiosity in strange foods - I'm talking about really off-the-wall stuff (by American standards), like balut or frog legs. It's always fun to try a strange new food together and compare notes on what you thought of it.
To me green flags are if he is open and doesn't try to hide anything.
If he doesn't hide you from your friends or coworkers
If he is excited to be with you.
If he isn't hiding in the bathroom texting or calling others.
If he gets out of his way to accommate you
If he isn't overly secretive with his phone
If he takes pics of you so he can show off to his family and friends
If he likes animals
If he is overall a happy person
If he can get excited about little things
if he talks about the future with you in it
If his exes don't hate him
If he doesn't have (m)any enemies
Bumping this positive, complimentary thread, after all the fear-motivated posts I've been making lately. Written from a straight man's point of view, like the OP's.
Doesn't mind riding buses and trains - In my experience, women who will only drive or ride in a car have a princess complex, unless offset by being down-to-earth in other ways. Willingness to travel in ways other than driving indicates lack of snobbery or being "above" whatever. It also expands the range of activities I can enjoy with her. (This also applies to men: the ones I met who looked down on public transit later turned out to be arrogant and unpleasant.)
Enjoys playing board games and cards - This indicates enjoyment of the tried and true, and not being always insisting on being dazzled by the latest and the greatest. Also being willing to actively participate in an activity to make it more entertaining. Popular contemporary games, like Cards Against Humanity, fit into this category as well.
Curiosity in strange foods - I'm talking about really off-the-wall stuff (by American standards), like balut or frog legs. It's always fun to try a strange new food together and compare notes on what you thought of it.
For me, I think green flags are
She doesn't run the other way.
She hasn't filed a restraining order against me
She actually answers my calls
She hasn't given me the "friends" talk
She doesn't have a gun collection.
Her ex is not due to be released soon
She is not in anger management
None of her exes are still missing.
Another list of requirements that does nothing but add to the already ridiculous list previously stated by others.
FYI, non drinkers are as much fun as those who drink casually and a recovering alcoholic won't be drinking even casually if they are smart. So you can get a broken recovering alcoholic and still have fun.
Yes non drinkers are a ball of fun for me to drag along to wineries... Not.
I will only date a man that drinks, because a huge chunk of my leisure time it spent with a drink in my hand. Wine is pretty much my only hobby. I choose restaurants and activities based on the available drinks.
I know people want their mate to be compatible in all sorts of ways, but at times it seems that most are looking to date a mirror image of themselves. Unless you are homosexual, I am not sure why you would want to. I find differences between myself and my GF fascinating, and couldn't care less that she is a democrat and I lean more to the conservative side. It allows us to learn about each other and have many lively discussions because of it. Dating someone who is too much like yourself, would be incredibly boring.
I have found differently. When in a relationship with someone with completely different interests, I find that it is lonely, because I am stuck doing my own thing, while they are off doing their thing. With someone that is like me, with same interests, we are closer because we do all the same things.
Yes non drinkers are a ball of fun for me to drag along to wineries... Not.
I will only date a man that drinks, because a huge chunk of my leisure time it spent with a drink in my hand. Wine is pretty much my only hobby. I choose restaurants and activities based on the available drinks.
I'm the same way, but with beer. Which means non-drinkers are as fun as barrel of moneys when it comes to brewery tours. While I have other hobbies, like swing dancing and street sports, I do want someone who can debate the merits of an IPA vs. a lager with me. If she's a non-drinker, it's not a deal-breaker, but she can't be a teetotaling wet blanket, either.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck
I have found differently. When in a relationship with someone with completely different interests, I find that it is lonely, because I am stuck doing my own thing, while they are off doing their thing. With someone that is like me, with same interests, we are closer because we do all the same things.
I actually observed a variation of that among my friends (male). They're somewhat more outgoing than their SO's, which was great back when they were single. However, today, they usually capitulate to their SO's' wishes when it comes to weekend entertainment. Which now usually consists of a quiet dinner with other couples or an evening at home. Guys' hangouts, even going to the gym together to weightlift, let alone things like hitting up a Latin dance club as a group, have come to an end long time ago. Needless to say, it's deterring me from ever entering a relationship.
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