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Oh man.... you two are at two different phaes in your lives; differences in maturity, perceptions, expections. Thus can cause all sorts of problems in a relationship and can manifest its self in all sorts of conflicted emotions; each person behaves to these differently.
I'm not saying it can not work out; many do.... but they almost always involve the ability to have healthy communication. Its going to be difficult to rectify the situation without first fixing the communication channels.
When someone is not dealing with internal conflicts, it doesn't take much to make them uncomfortable; even as little as dishes that used to be in the sink are now out of the sink. I"ve seen one person in a relstaionship suddenly make every littel thing in their lives a big deal; it turns out he was bored and facing middle age crisis. Adding unnecessary drama to his life indirectly relieved that bordom albeit in ah unhealthy manner. So what was so mundane issues in daily life became a life full of arguing and drama. His wife only saw him as being increasingly irritable and was sucked into escalating each and every argument.
This was a good post. You only objected to the idea that your wife is not your equal. Don't you think she could be homesick and lonely and taking it out on you?
And now she is lazy and putting on weight. She sounds depressed to me. Lonely and homesick can definitely do that. Despite visiting the US several times, as you said, this is her first real exposure to our culture, so it sounds like she may not have any friends. Moving so far is a massive life change. At least she has a job. How long has she worked there? How is it going there?
I feel for ya, but it's probably menopause. Give her the benefit of a doubt, and help her figure out what's really going on. Or, I guess you really could be an "insufferable" jerk who deserves nagging.
Pickle, you haven't been reading along. She's 23. She's 30 years away from menopause.
It's entirely possible, likely, even, that what we have here is a poor guy who got majorly played, and he can't admit it to himself, so he's fishing for other reasons to account for her change in character after the marriage and after coming to the US. Who wants to face the fact that they fell for one of the oldest tricks in the book? It's a hard thing to do, especially when love is involved. The OP must have really been in love, and is still wearing those rose-colored glasses.
It's sad, OP. But the sooner you get this chapter of your life over, the sooner you can find a real person to fall in love with, not a doll who turns into a shrew once the papers are signed.
OR, you could continue with the charade, decide that the whole problem is due to moving to the US, move both of you back to Thailand, and see what happens. If you choose this latter strategy, please let us knw how it turns out. . It would be great if you lived happily ever after with this girl, though some of us aren't holding our breath. But those who say she may be homesick could be right. There's only one way to find out. Why not suggest to her that you two move back to her homeland? See what she says.
And btw, US culture has nothing to do with nagging. Did you think she got that from watching TV sitcoms, or something?
Yes, I am. Right now there isn't much of a sex life. She's still keen but honestly I find myself resentful and more often than not I'm quite turned off by her. Not just her attitude, but she's put on quite a bit of weight too.
Honestly, I think your bisexuality is at the core of the problem. Did she know this before marriage? Does she know now? Are you actually gay but in denial?
The first few years of a compatible marriage are usually very sexually active. And women tend to loose weight when they are sexually satisfied, not gain.
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