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So I have thought about this a lot more recently. It seems like things are kind of going no where with the military guy (so disappointed). They could potentially go somewhere if he stops acting like a douche, and when he is back but this Fall is so far away.
I am finishing my Master in May and I should hopefully have my license in a month and I just... I feel like the place I am in has offered me nothing. I moved from a smaller town to a big city to go to school (I live in the suburbs of a big city now) and it is nothing that I thought. I thought I would go to school and meet a ton of men and leave with a husband and I know between now and May I won't have a husband lol (I pray but I doubt it'll happen). I have great friends but that just isn't enough for me. If I move out of state then it is a fresh start. I think I will find a husband and be able to start a family sooner than waiting around here for someone to come. It will be a new pool of men. I am thinking a southern state like NC or TN I know NC has a lot of military men, who are known to be married quickly.. but I want a quality marriage (quickly) but I would forfeit time for quality I guess. Also most of the military men I know who married quickly did it when they were 19 or 20, I am 25 now I doubt anyone is rushing at this point. I like the idea of a Southern gentlemen for a husband. I just can't find anyone here so I think anyone is better than who I will pick here. I am just unsure because I don't have family in any of the states I am thinking about and moving to a new place with no friends or family is scary and I might be isolated or I will use a ton of dating sites and just know a bunch of men who aren't friends. Has anyone ever just picked up and moved? How did it work? Was it easier to get into relationships? How did you make friends?
Frankly, your idealization of a "military husband" is insulting.
You have NO IDEA what is involved in being the spouse of a soldier and are just perpetuating stereotypes and fantasies.
Here is what I can tell you: There is NO secret formula or guarantee for finding a husband. If there were, all the unmarried women in the world who want to be married would already be doing whatever it is.
You need to make the best decisions for YOU and your life, WITHOUT a man, and get involved with whatever stuff interests you. Be busy, put yourself in the company of other people, continue therapy, and be the best version of YOU that you can be.
So I have thought about this a lot more recently. It seems like things are kind of going no where with the military guy (so disappointed). They could potentially go somewhere if he stops acting like a douche, and when he is back but this Fall is so far away.
I am finishing my Master in May and I should hopefully have my license in a month and I just... I feel like the place I am in has offered me nothing. I moved from a smaller town to a big city to go to school (I live in the suburbs of a big city now) and it is nothing that I thought. I thought I would go to school and meet a ton of men and leave with a husband and I know between now and May I won't have a husband lol (I pray but I doubt it'll happen). I have great friends but that just isn't enough for me. If I move out of state then it is a fresh start. I think I will find a husband and be able to start a family sooner than waiting around here for someone to come. It will be a new pool of men. I am thinking a southern state like NC or TN I know NC has a lot of military men, who are known to be married quickly.. but I want a quality marriage (quickly) but I would forfeit time for quality I guess. Also most of the military men I know who married quickly did it when they were 19 or 20, I am 25 now I doubt anyone is rushing at this point. I like the idea of a Southern gentlemen for a husband. I just can't find anyone here so I think anyone is better than who I will pick here. I am just unsure because I don't have family in any of the states I am thinking about and moving to a new place with no friends or family is scary and I might be isolated or I will use a ton of dating sites and just know a bunch of men who aren't friends. Has anyone ever just picked up and moved? How did it work? Was it easier to get into relationships? How did you make friends?
What is it about military men that you are attracted to? The military life isn't glamorous and it's nothing like Army Wives. You spend a lot of time alone.
Frankly, your idealization of a "military husband" is insulting.
You have NO IDEA what is involved in being the spouse of a soldier and are just perpetuating stereotypes and fantasies.
Here is what I can tell you: There is NO secret formula or guarantee for finding a husband. If there were, all the unmarried women in the world who want to be married would already be doing whatever it is.
You need to make the best decisions for YOU and your life, WITHOUT a man, and get involved with whatever stuff interests you. Be busy, put yourself in the company of other people, continue therapy, and be the best version of YOU that you can be.
I understand and I agree but see here is the thing I HAVE to be married. I know I will be getting married one day because I won't settle for not having that. I want a family. I just want that sooner than later.
As far as military guys I mean I know it is difficult, I have only ever dated military so I know it is hardcore I think I can handle it but I understand it is difficult and I definitely need to work on being more secure for myself, by myself I guess too. I just worry about getting so busy and too distracted and then I wake up 35 with no husband and no babies and nothing to show for my age. I just feel like I need to do what I can now and so idk maybe a move would be good for me eventually. I guess I will see what things are like between me and all these guys I talk to in the next few months and I can decide fully.
What is it about military men that you are attracted to? The military life isn't glamorous and it's nothing like Army Wives. You spend a lot of time alone.
I have dated a lot of veterans. I just love the mentality and the toughness. They also usually have great bodies and I just like the traditional-ness. Like the guy I dated was in the Marines and very traditional, he thought his wife should stay home and raise their family (my dream!) and he should be the breadwinner. I just really believe in traditional gender roles and a traditional life and I have seen that much more with military guys than other guys who seem more progressive and stuff.
Frankly, your idealization of a "military husband" is insulting.
You have NO IDEA what is involved in being the spouse of a soldier and are just perpetuating stereotypes and fantasies.
Here is what I can tell you: There is NO secret formula or guarantee for finding a husband. If there were, all the unmarried women in the world who want to be married would already be doing whatever it is.
You need to make the best decisions for YOU and your life, WITHOUT a man, and get involved with whatever stuff interests you. Be busy, put yourself in the company of other people, continue therapy, and be the best version of YOU that you can be.
This. The fact that she just wants to get married, not that she found a man that she wants to marry, is sad to me. It's like a check mark on a list. Every woman I know whose sole goal was to, as my friend puts it, get married and babied up ASAP, has ended up with a miserable marriage.
OP, the only way you will find a quality person is by being a quality person. Finding love can be wonderful, but just getting married because of some weird idea that you have that you MUST be married NOW (you are only 25 FFS; it isn't 1962!) is going to set you up for an unsatisfying life.
Haven't you noticed that all the advice you are given in ALL your threads boils down to one point?
You can title your threads different ways and post them in different subforums, but it all boils down to one sad fact: You are obsessed with getting married because you think it will bring you happiness, to the point that it blinds you to the very issues that are keeping you from that happiness.
Marriage is the LAST thing you need. More intensive therapy is the first.
I have dated a lot of veterans. I just love the mentality and the toughness. They also usually have great bodies and I just like the traditional-ness. Like the guy I dated was in the Marines and very traditional, he thought his wife should stay home and raise their family (my dream!) and he should be the breadwinner. I just really believe in traditional gender roles and a traditional life and I have seen that much more with military guys than other guys who seem more progressive and stuff.
There is nothing "traditional" about being a military wife. I genuinely don't think you have any clue how much time you spend alone. And you seem like the kind of girl who needs a man that's around more.
Guys in the military are nothing special. There are still jerks, domestic violence, alcoholism and drama, military members are people, it's their job, not their life.
This. The fact that she just wants to get married, not that she found a man that she wants to marry, is sad to me. It's like a check mark on a list. Every woman I know whose sole goal was to, as my friend puts it, get married and babied up ASAP, has ended up with a miserable marriage.
OP, the only way you will find a quality person is by being a quality person. Finding love can be wonderful, but just getting married because of some weird idea that you have that you MUST be married NOW (you are only 25 FFS; it isn't 1962!) is going to set you up for an unsatisfying life.
Ok so that is interesting to me because I have been like this since I was 18 and I know a lot of people would say "oh you're only 18, 19, 20 etc...." I'm 25 now. I know that the average marriage age is 27 so I still have 2 years to work on it but I know you are saying that to make me feel good and maybe worry less and I appreciate it. What point though do you say "hey you're old, you need to worry about this"? I know I am not really that young. I am 25, that is old enough to be married and have at least 1-2 kids and be stable. I know I am not the oldest person ever either but I am definitely at an age where this should be a concern.
Haven't you noticed that all the advice you are given in ALL your threads boils down to one point?
You can title your threads different ways and post them in different subforums, but it all boils down to one sad fact: You are obsessed with getting married because you think it will bring you happiness, to the point that it blinds you to the very issues that are keeping you from that happiness.
Marriage is the LAST thing you need. More intensive therapy is the first.
I definitely see it because the conversation always goes back to that. I just have no many emotions lately about it specifically and I am getting more and more angry and antsy. I think it is because of things with the guy I talk to and my friends (I know we already established that I shouldn't compare myself to people). I just feel like I have to make big decisions soon that will effect my life and a big part of the life I want is marriage and a family. I just want to make good decisions but I can't just base my decisions on me because I have to be who someone else would want too.
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