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Yeah don't go there. If you jealous, you gonna stay jealous even if she removes them from FB. Trust me, I have gone through that process. Time to work on yourself.
I agree with you. I just don't think Facebook is as harmless as some people think. Lots of cheating starts on Facebook. Sure you can say if a person is going to cheat, they'll do it anyway but communicating with former flames on Facebook definitely helps the process.
Or not.
I have some FB friends that I've slept with, many years ago (at different times). Yes, I slept with them, but it's more than that. They're part of my history, my youth, and we still share a lot of the same friends. We parted ways for different reasons, but I love seeing their lives now - their families, kids, hobbies, interests. It's no different than sharing in the lives of the kids I grew up with, or former coworkers.
If my husband had a problem with that, it would mean we have deeper trust issues than is healthy.
I have some FB friends that I've slept with, many years ago (at different times). Yes, I slept with them, but it's more than that. They're part of my history, my youth, and we still share a lot of the same friends. We parted ways for different reasons, but I love seeing their lives now - their families, kids, hobbies, interests. It's no different than sharing in the lives of the kids I grew up with, or former coworkers.
If my husband had a problem with that, it would mean we have deeper trust issues than is healthy.
And that's the thing. Some people will have issues with your interest in the lives of your past flames. If they are truly out of your life, why care? It's not about the fact that I think you might be doing something behind my back I think it's pure jealousy in its true form for people wanting to control and own you by denying you a right to even a remote look into your exes lives.
The reason people are saying that is that you will always have these issues unless you deal with it, either personally or professionally.
My wife can friend anyone she wants on FB.. If she is going to cheat, she is going to cheat.. Nothing I can do about it.
If she wants to cheat, an old flame from facebook would intensify her cheating, posting, seeing each other in facebook posts...don't you think?
Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyFarm34
If I was your GF, I'd dump you with your insecurities. I like & comment on statuses often but don't actually have conversations with them. Sounds like you're trying to place your past relationship failures on your GF by trying to control her and making issues out of nothing.
I don't think she being friend on facebook of a guy she slept is nothing! If it was nothing she wouldn't request him as a friend in the first place!
Quote:
Originally Posted by blaugrana_pl
Yeah don't go there. If you jealous, you gonna stay jealous even if she removes them from FB. Trust me, I have gone through that process. Time to work on yourself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ringwise
Or not.
You said you have gone through that process. What did you do to overcome?
I have some FB friends that I've slept with, many years ago (at different times). Yes, I slept with them, but it's more than that. They're part of my history, my youth, and we still share a lot of the same friends. We parted ways for different reasons, but I love seeing their lives now - their families, kids, hobbies, interests. It's no different than sharing in the lives of the kids I grew up with, or former coworkers.
If my husband had a problem with that, it would mean we have deeper trust issues than is healthy.
You said you "love" seeing their lives now, their families, kids...Well, if you love maybe you're still "in love" with someone! Now tell me, your husband knows that you'll be cheating him?
Quote:
Originally Posted by blaugrana_pl
And that's the thing. Some people will have issues with your interest in the lives of your past flames. If they are truly out of your life, why care? It's not about the fact that I think you might be doing something behind my back I think it's pure jealousy in its true form for people wanting to control and own you by denying you a right to even a remote look into your exes lives.
I'm one of the 6 people in the world that doesn't "do facebook", but from what I know of it, I can't imagine that "liking" someone's posts means much of anything- other than they like the post.
Are you the type to look for things to worry about?
Hah, I dropped out of Facebook as well.
When he starts "poking" her, then you have a problem!
The definition of insanity is repeating the same behaviors and expecting different outcomes.
In your case, that means posting on City Data about how little you trust your girlfriend, and ignoring all advice about what to do.
Time to change the habit. This time, either follow someone's (anyone's) advice and do something about the relationship---whether it's to get counseling, break up (you'd be doing her a favor), or anything at all---or just stop torturing yourself and us by refraining from posting until you get your stuff in order.
There's nothing else anyone can do for you at this point. It's on you to make a change.
And start treating her like a woman and also like you don't deserve her.
Try to do something nice for her everyday and send her a note in the morning and at night to tell her how much you love her.
And start treating her like a woman and also like you don't deserve her.
Try to do something nice for her everyday and send her a note in the morning and at night to tell her how much you love her.
If she wants to cheat, an old flame from facebook would intensify her cheating, posting, seeing each other in facebook posts...don't you think?
If she wants to cheat she will cheat. It doesn't matter if she is on FB at all. She could go to lunch and hook up with someone if she wants. She could go to the grocery store and hook up is she wants.
If anything YOU are pushing her away, this could make her open to invitations if she wants to cheat.
You need to cut her loose and work on your own issues before torturing her any further.
If she wants to cheat, an old flame from facebook would intensify her cheating, posting, seeing each other in facebook posts...don't you think?
I don't think she being friend on facebook of a guy she slept is nothing! If it was nothing she wouldn't request him as a friend in the first place!
You said you "love" seeing their lives now, their families, kids...Well, if you love maybe you're still "in love" with someone! Now tell me, your husband knows that you'll be cheating him?
What do you mean?
Hardly. I also "love" seeing the lives and families of my former neighbors, coworkers and classmates. Hardly in "love" with them. And yes, my husband knows all about it. I share cute pictures with him all the time of all the people I know and "love" in my life.
Should i worry? I think they don't talk to each other anymore but sometimes they likes each other on their posts newsfeed.
So what? Plenty of people have their ex-SOs and even ex-spouses on their FB lists.
My suggestion is to work on your insecurity. She's with you now. That's what matters.
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