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I'm meeting up with someone I've been involved with since I was 15 and I started thinking that I've never been dumped by anyone in my life. All the guys I've ever been with, I'm still with now and then (not during their marriages).
I'm not the marrying or long term BF/gf type but I have dozens of good long term relationships with men. We keep in touch, see each other when either is nearby, genuinely want good things for each other, have fun (not just in the bedroom).
It makes me happy and feel very cosmopolitan, like Anais Nin but the one I'm seeing tomorrow is probably the one I'm most connected to bc of the years involved. My BFF is nagging me to turn it into a typical relationship. I think it's a double standard. Why should I feel bad about being lucky enough to have many people who make my life better instead of picking one who will annoy me to death?
Are there any women in their 40s who have similar situations?
It sounds like you are polyamorous. There's nothing intrinsically wrong with that, though I'd suggest you don't string anybody along into thinking they are The One or that you are exclusively with them as long as you are keeping multiple partners.
It sounds like you are polyamorous. There's nothing intrinsically wrong with that, though I'd suggest you don't string anybody along into thinking they are The One or that you are exclusively with them as long as you are keeping multiple partners.
I think poly means everyone knows what's up and there's rules, etc
I don't lead anyone on, I don't think anyone could think we're exclusive since sometimes I don't even see some for a year or two. Lol
It sounds like you are polyamorous. There's nothing intrinsically wrong with that, though I'd suggest you don't string anybody along into thinking they are The One or that you are exclusively with them as long as you are keeping multiple partners.
I think, you're confusing polygamous from promiscuous, Lol.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Having relationships that are somewhere between long term casually dating and friends with benefits seems super common from what I see. More so in 30s and 40s than 20s.
There is nothing wrong with choosing how you live your own life. If that means remaining single and fostering relationships (even intimate ones) with numerous people, that is ok. However, you will often find yourself subscribing to a definition of relationship that may not be shared by everyone in your circle. You have to be truthful with each and everyone of them and tread lightly... being a close friend (or more) can put you in awkward situations and the potential to really hurt someone if you weren't up front and truthful making sure expectations/boundaries were understood.
I am fairly similar to you. A lot of my circle of friends are females that I've known for a very long time; some of them I've been intimate with, a handful I've had serious relationships. I wouldn't be intimate with any of my platonic girl-friends if I didn't feel that they truly understood my views and have the same feelings as I. I may have been promiscuous but I was not indiscriminate with who I was intimate with... quite selective actually... just not to a single individual at a time.
On the flip side, the woman I eventually married made it clear that she couldn't accept my views; leaving it to me to determine to continue with our relationship or move on. I had to respect that and we eventually got married; continued to foster platonic relationships with those in my circle.
This is pretty much the way I have lived my life. I always tended to put way to much stress on a classic dating scenario. I have had a lot of casual and sometimes intimate friendships with the opposite sex and am mostly friends with all of them. To the point where the ones who have gotten into the classic roles would ***** to me about their situations when they were frustrated. My brother ( married, 3 kids) seems to envy my lifestyle. But sometimes I see pictures of him on vacation with the kids and I envy that a bunch. I guess it's the classic grass is always greener scenario.
I think, you're confusing polygamous from promiscuous, Lol.
I'm guessing you meant polyamorous and not polygamous...but no, I'd not say promiscuous. Most people who throw that term around are married and perhaps jealous.
OP - I see nothing wrong with it unless you think it is preventing you from having a more exclusive relationship with someone.
If that isn't what you're looking for then this seems like it works well for you - to have several ongoing/sporadic relationships with several people. It sounds mutually respectful since you're not interfering in any of their other relationships. Do what you want to, OP!
I'm guessing you meant polyamorous and not polygamous...but no, I'd not say promiscuous. Most people who throw that term around are married and perhaps jealous.
OP - I see nothing wrong with it unless you think it is preventing you from having a more exclusive relationship with someone.
If that isn't what you're looking for then this seems like it works well for you - to have several ongoing/sporadic relationships with several people. It sounds mutually respectful since you're not interfering in any of their other relationships. Do what you want to, OP!
Or moralistic. Not surprising that such judgment is often reserved for women despite men sowing their wild oats with little consequence for, like, millennia.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 10 days ago)
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Your story reminds me of the song "Gentle on my mind", sung by Glen Campbell. Kind of intriguing.
It's your life, you get to choose!
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