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Would you just keep it simple like what I said? "Hi, you're in my class, and I was just wondering if you wanted to grab coffee with me sometime?" Worst-case scenario, she won't respond. But at the same time, I have nothing to lose. I'd personally be flattered and wouldn't find this creepy at all, but that's just me. In this day and age, I feel like meeting for coffee is casual enough and non-threatening.
Hi, Jay.
I don't think that I find it creepy but it would probably be kind of weird, especially if you guys are running into each other at class every day. If you are planning on sending her a message through Facebook rather than in person, I would definitely NOT make that your ice breaker. Make it casual and friendly but not too forward — maybe something like "Hi, we go to class together and I'd thought I'd say hi". If you are too blunt and she doesn't respond back to you, you are not going to know where to put your face next time you see her
You should at least wave. Maybe you don't need to go all out if you see her in person such as asking for a date, but you can at least try to use an ice breaker such as "been meaning to ask you, do you know so and so? you look familiar!" or "Don't you love this weather?"... something like that would not require you to engage with all the other people around her
Be a man and approach her in person. No coffee dates though. Alcohol only.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rockstar21
I would rather take her on a date for wine and alcohol instead of coffee, what is coffee going to do to spice things up? honestly.
The OP is talking about asking a girl out who is in his class. There is a good chance he or the girl isn't of legal drinking age. In which case coffee would be appropriate.
If she's interested, she'll find it flattering. If she's not interested, she'll find it creepy.
You're making excuses why you can't do it in person. You can find a way if you really want to. I'm old enough to remember when texting and social media didn't exist, and people had to approach one another in person. Electronic communications have made people wimpy. What have you got to lose?
Have some balls. Sit next to her in class. There is no law saying you can't sit in the seat next to her. You can even use that as a conversation starter. That you needed a change of scenery. Then have a few conversations with her overtime. Then ask her out.
If you can't do that and have to go to the FB route, at least have some FB conversations with her first.
I don't think that I find it creepy but it would probably be kind of weird, especially if you guys are running into each other at class every day. If you are planning on sending her a message through Facebook rather than in person, I would definitely NOT make that your ice breaker. Make it casual and friendly but not too forward — maybe something like "Hi, we go to class together and I'd thought I'd say hi". If you are too blunt and she doesn't respond back to you, you are not going to know where to put your face next time you see her
You should at least wave. Maybe you don't need to go all out if you see her in person such as asking for a date, but you can at least try to use an ice breaker such as "been meaning to ask you, do you know so and so? you look familiar!" or "Don't you love this weather?"... something like that would not require you to engage with all the other people around her
Good luck!
RJ
This is a good idea...break the ice first so you're not some stranger just jumping on her and asking her out, out of the blue. Start being friendly with her, not overwhelming but friendly.
Be a man and approach her in person. No coffee dates though. Alcohol only.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BellaLind
The OP is talking about asking a girl out who is in his class. There is a good chance he or the girl isn't of legal drinking age.
My thoughts exactly.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JayJayCB
I'm in a weird situation. There's a girl in one of my classes who sits on the opposite side of the classroom. I'd love to approach her but everyone sits in the same seat, so it'd be too strange to randomly sit next to her. It's also hard to approach her before and after class because she comes in kind of late and sits next to the door, so she basically rushes out right after. I'm thinking about just sending a FB message, something along the lines of, "Hi, I'm in your so and so class, would you like to grab some coffee sometime?" In this day and age, do you believe this is non-threatening? Or is this very creepy? We haven't said a word to each other despite making eye contact a few times, so I feel like she might recognize me. However, I'd like to hear more opinions. Has anyone been through a similar situation? "Just go up and talk to her" is easier said than done, let's be honest. Any opinions?
Having experienced this myself once upon a time many moons ago, I'm wondering if she's late because she's coming from one class and rushing out to get to the next one or to get to work. If that's the case, trying to talk catch her before or after is only going to fluster her further.
Normally, I'd advocate going up and talking to her but coming in late and rushing out doesn't sound like you'd be in the best environment to do so. I'd go the FB route. However, given you aren't FB friends, there is the chance she won't see the message. I believe the "other" messages (now called something else) can only be seen from the desktop version and not the mobile app, but I could be wrong about that.
I'm in a weird situation. There's a girl in one of my classes who sits on the opposite side of the classroom. I'd love to approach her but everyone sits in the same seat, so it'd be too strange to randomly sit next to her. It's also hard to approach her before and after class because she comes in kind of late and sits next to the door, so she basically rushes out right after. I'm thinking about just sending a FB message, something along the lines of, "Hi, I'm in your so and so class, would you like to grab some coffee sometime?" In this day and age, do you believe this is non-threatening? Or is this very creepy? We haven't said a word to each other despite making eye contact a few times, so I feel like she might recognize me. However, I'd like to hear more opinions. Has anyone been through a similar situation? "Just go up and talk to her" is easier said than done, let's be honest. Any opinions?
Yes it is creepy.
In Person After Class: "Hey, you're in Dr. Glam's class right" "Cool me too, I'm __ " "See you around!"
Over FB: "Hey, are you taking that psych class with Dr. Glam?"
Point: In this situation, don't ask for a coffee date right away. Start slow. Let it grow naturally at its own pace. Be a catch and mysterious. Let attraction build. Don't force anything. If it's meant to be (if you're on your game) then the coffee date will happen.
Facebook asking out is stupid and doesn't work if you don't have prior, verbal interactions with the person. Just smile and say hi a couple times, then make your move, no reason to not do it like this. Cowardly ask outs are a complete turnoff for females.
Who knows what creepy is and what isn't. In my experience, an attractive guy will get dates and numbers for exact same behavior that the unattractive guy will get labeled creepy. It means nothing.
If you see this girl in real life, don't ask her out using facebook. Act like a man, and nothing you do will seem creepy. Walk up to her, look her straight in the eye and ask her out.
I'm in a weird situation. There's a girl in one of my classes who sits on the opposite side of the classroom. I'd love to approach her but everyone sits in the same seat, so it'd be too strange to randomly sit next to her. It's also hard to approach her before and after class because she comes in kind of late and sits next to the door, so she basically rushes out right after. I'm thinking about just sending a FB message, something along the lines of, "Hi, I'm in your so and so class, would you like to grab some coffee sometime?" In this day and age, do you believe this is non-threatening? Or is this very creepy? We haven't said a word to each other despite making eye contact a few times, so I feel like she might recognize me. However, I'd like to hear more opinions. Has anyone been through a similar situation? "Just go up and talk to her" is easier said than done, let's be honest. Any opinions?
Coming from a complete stranger, it's within the realm of "creepy". And if she doesn't know who you are, why would she say "yes"? You need to do something so she knows you're interested and has a face to associate your FB message with. If you can't talk to her after class, the next time she looks in your direction and makes eye contact, smile and give her a little wave. See how she reacts. Then a couple of days later, send her the FB message, and say you're the guy who waved.
Anything less than that is doomed to failure, IMO.
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