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Going up to a random person and asking for coffee (in person) would be even stranger, don't y'all think? I mean, I'd love to actually make a move in person, but it's definitely easier said than done. I only have one class with her, and like I said, it's difficult to approach her.
Let me put it this way, what would you say over FB in my shoes? How would you word the message? Would you just keep it simple like what I said? "Hi, you're in my class, and I was just wondering if you wanted to grab coffee with me sometime?" Worst-case scenario, she won't respond. But at the same time, I have nothing to lose. I'd personally be flattered and wouldn't find this creepy at all, but that's just me. In this day and age, I feel like meeting for coffee is casual enough and non-threatening.
I don't find it creepy but you are better off asking in person. On FB she might not answer you and not only will she most likely have to give you an answer in person, but she's more likely to give a yes if you ask her in person. It's easy to ignore e-communication, not so much with face to face.
If you are worried about her saying no, try not to let it worry you. In the end she's just another person, no more important or more special than you. It's only when you put the opposite sex on a pedestal that you open yourself up to be hurt by a simple rejection.
Good luck! Hope to hear about a successful coffee date soon!
One more thing. Don't ask her cold. Try to talk to her a few times if you can. The more familiar you are and the friendlier you seem, the more she will be relaxed about you. But don't try to be a friend first... Just friendly.
I wouldn't find it creepy exactly, but I WOULD be offput that you saw me right there in class, yet you asked me out over Facebook. There's shyness (nothing wrong with that) and then there's: if he can't even literally just speak to me when he sees me every single day, how much am I going to be dragging him through this relationship? I don't expect my men to be swinging through trees and biting through beer cans with their teeth but I do expect them to have enough b*lls to just stand in front of me and look at my face to ask me out. I couldn't deal with someone who didn't at least want to do that much.
Personally I wouldn't say yes if someone who saw me every day couldn't even speak to my face and had to go over social media to ask me out. I can't say that's how this girl will react. Maybe she has a different attitude from mine and will say yes.
I'd see it as cowardly more than anything else mate as she's not exactly a million miles away and you didn't have the guts to ask in person..... If you see what I'm getting at?
Granted I'm a bloke but I'm sure a lot of women would look at it that way?
I agree with you completely. Nothing endearing about being in close proximity but choosing to hide behind technology instead. Not creepy, but silly and juvenile.
Going up to a random person and asking for coffee (in person) would be even stranger, don't y'all think? I mean, I'd love to actually make a move in person, but it's definitely easier said than done. I only have one class with her, and like I said, it's difficult to approach her.
Let me put it this way, what would you say over FB in my shoes? How would you word the message? Would you just keep it simple like what I said? "Hi, you're in my class, and I was just wondering if you wanted to grab coffee with me sometime?" Worst-case scenario, she won't respond. But at the same time, I have nothing to lose. I'd personally be flattered and wouldn't find this creepy at all, but that's just me. In this day and age, I feel like meeting for coffee is casual enough and non-threatening.
No, "Hi, I've noticed you in class and I really liked what you said about X! I can totally relate! Want to go grab a coffee some time?" or "Hey, this is crazy but I feel like we see each other every day yet we've never introduced ourselves, I'm --" (conversation then continues at least for a sentence or two, hence opening things up) is NOT weirder than some FB message popping up: "Hi, I stare secretly at you from across the room daily and don't want to speak with you with my mouth yet but I'd like to ask you out this way. How about Friday?"
Okay, so maybe that's a slight exaggeration, LOL, but...no. Nope. Saying in person that you'd love to chat some time ISN'T creepier than Facebooking someone for a date when you are within a few yards of her literally every single day but haven't actually opened up your mouth to her.
I can't answer your second paragraph because I simply wouldn't do it this way and wouldn't feel very comfortable with it if I were asked in this way, again, given the exact circumstances (that he was physically near me every day). This is the equivalent of a middle-schooler passing a note in class. It just really wouldn't be for me.
Be a man and approach her in person. No coffee dates though. Alcohol only.
Oh for God's sake.
NO, OP, do NOT say "Hey, we've never ever spoken before, how about this Friday I ply you with alcohol?" (Or to be less facetious, "Hi! My name is X! What's yours? Oh, that's nice! Hey, how about you come with me to a bar on Friday?" OMG nope nope nope, LOL. I guarantee that will be a shoot-down no matter how you try to couch it...)
Coffee. Something easy, something potentially quick if you both end up not being into it, something casual, something in daylight hours with no alcohol-induced date rape potential (total utter stranger has NEVER said literally one word to her, now wants to go get her drunk, you do the math) in the back of her mind. Please. Just trust me on this one...
If she knows it's just coffee, then even if she's really on the fence about going out with you, it will be casual enough that you probably have a better chance of her saying yes.
I would rather take her on a date for wine and alcohol instead of coffee, what is coffee going to do to spice things up? honestly.
Uh, they might get to know one another?
Honestly, this guy is too terrified even to ask her out to her face, do you think he's looking to jump on in there and close the deal? Obviously, he's going to want to take this slowly.
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Just trust me on this one...
