Text Anxiety (date, woman, attracted, call)

[kristen12]

I'm back again!
So Ive moved on from douche Lord, that I was so upset about in my previous post.
He deleted me off Facebook and I saw a snapchat story with him and some new girl he's already with, so I blocked him from Facebook and snapchat. So glad that's over with.
I learned my lesson about messing around with guys I know are not good for me.
My friends seem to think the reason I get ghosted is because I give too much away too early, that I'm too eager, not mysterious enough.. Ect.

I took that into consideration, because I'm tired of the same pattern with every guy, even though it could also be the guys I've been choosing.

I've started talking to someone else, but it's not serious at all. I haven't really even been hanging out with him but we have talked everyday for 2 1/2 weeks now. I haven't jumped the gun and we both have busy lives so sometimes we only talk maybe twice a day, that's rare though. It usually takes both of us a couple hours at least to reply though. I like that because I don't feel pressured to be in constant communication with someone, so it's been nice. The conversations have been very light, I haven't ranted to him about any personal things and he hasn't said anything crazy like these past few guys have said (I wanna date you, be with you forever, ect.) He seems very level headed.

I do enjoy our conversations and I can tell we have similar personalities. A lot of our messages are very sarcastic, we mess with each other a lot, it's just very humorous.

I should mention we talk through messages on snapchat. He gave me his number mid conversation through the app one day, but we were in the middle of a conversation and it never really died down so I hadn't actually texted him. He gave me his number the first night we started talking. However my phone is sometimes really bad about sending and receiving messages so I prefer talking to him through snapchat because I know my messages went through.

He had mentioned us hanging out the weekend before this past one, but I had to go out of town for a friend's birthday. Then this past week he had to travel for the military so he was gone all this past week and got back on Friday. While he was gone he said he wanted to see me when he got back and of course I agreed. Well he got back Friday at noon and slept a lot this past weekend (he doesn't get to sleep much when he leaves) and it didn't really bother me because I went to a concert with a friend on Saturday. The only day I really had free was yesterday and I didn't hear from him very much. His messages were kind of short all weekend but still normal.

I figured he would mention hanging out this week sometime so I haven't worried about bringing it up. Well yesterday we were in mid conversation and I sent a funny message to him about what we were discussing but I was also messing with him a lot in the message like I normally do.

I saw that he opened the message an hour after I sent it, and he didn't reply. Normally when he opens a message from me he responds right then because messages on snapchat don't save so you can't really remember what the person said. I checked back a couple hours later and it was still opened with no response. He opened it around 9 last night and it's noon the next day.

For some reason I'm really anxious waiting for a message from him because this is the first time he hasn't replied to me after opening a message. But I would never call him out on it or double message him asking for a response. I deal with all this internally and I'm the only one who knows I freak out.

But I just don't get why he would open a message from me, we are supposed to be hanging out soon... And just not reply. I'm scared he's going to ghost me but I don't want to seem needy and message him. He always will message me if it's been a long time and say he was sleeping or something, but that will still be right after he opens a message.

I just don't get it, why would he not reply yet if he really likes me? This is making me super nervous, and I wouldn't be worried if I knew I would hear from him eventually..

Has anybody been through something similar or maybe can give me some insight as to what might be going on? It's really confusing. I hate not knowing what's happening or if I need to actually be worried. I really like this guy.

[BirdieBelle]

Step 1: Get a new phone. It's 2016, for Pete's sake, and texting is the most basic thing your phone should be able to do. It caused a problem in the first thread you posted, and it's still an issue.

Step2: Accept the fact that you need a constant stream of attention to feel validated. It's a problem, kristen. You aren't "better." Even though this guy "only" messaged you an average of twice a day, it was a set-up that you approved of. Now that he has gone rogue, so to speak, you can't handle it and are starting to fall apart.

Do you see where this is going?

You have very low self-esteem. You need to fix that before you try to date ANYone or else you will never get out of the messaging stage.

[Just A Guy]

New guy. Same old stuff.

[BirdieBelle]

Originally Posted by Just A Guy

New guy. Same old stuff.

Yep. This is why it's called "baggage."

Until you fix it, kristen, you will continue to carry it with you regardless of which guy you are dealing with.

[kristen12]

I think it would make anybody nervous though. Especially if you like them.
So, setting myself and my own issues aside what could be the reason that he is doing this? To just stop talking mid conversation after opening a message....

[Just A Guy]

Originally Posted by kristen12

I think it would make anybody nervous though. Especially if you like them.
So, setting myself and my own issues aside what could be the reason that he is doing this? To just stop talking mid conversation after opening a message....

First of all, it wouldn't make a normal emotionally healthy person anxious.

Second of all, it is a pretty good sign that he may not be that interested in you, so it is kind of a red flag. Based on your history of attracting and being attracted to guys who use you, this is very likely the case again.

[CapsChick]

What did the message say?

[kristen12]

We had been talking about how we wake up in the morning, and he said he's usually grouchy when he wakes up.. So basically all I said was that he's such a diva (I've said that before, we usually mess with each other) and it was kind of a long message so I don't really remember what else I said. But i smiled at the end and like I said we were mid conversation so it doesn't make any sense to me..

[PetiteGem]

You have been talking for almost two weeks and he has not taken you out on a date, that means he is not interested in you, he is happy having a chat pal and obviously has another woman in his life. Accept it and perhaps next time, meet in person instead of spilling your life story to a stranger. Take some time to figure out what makes you happy instead of expecting a man to make you feel whole.

[Auraliea]

I just think you need to back off from relationships in general and take a LONG hard look at yourself.

You need to do some personal growth.