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They told me that they could afford it without me, but then when they started looking at all the extra costs (groceries, wifi, etc.) it doesn't look like they can (they all work in retail).
If I don't move in, she will break up with me. I know that that may actually not be the worst thing in the world in the long run, but... I have the feeling that if she broke up with me, a week later she'd realize she made a mistake and would regret breaking up with me. I don't know.
So now the big question is if I'm okay if this relationship ends... I cried like a b**** yesterday morning after I got home from her place when the subject of breakup came up... I get teared up just at the thought of losing her. But I don't like how this is a "don't move in, we break up" kind of 'deal.' It just makes me think that she might make these kind of 'deals' later, like "if you don't go on this vacation, we end" or "if you don't help pay for this [something we wouldn't need at all], we end."
I really don't want to lose her. We started dating and we connected fast. I wish our relationship wasn't depending on this...
They told me that they could afford it without me, but then when they started looking at all the extra costs (groceries, wifi, etc.) it doesn't look like they can (they all work in retail).
If I don't move in, she will break up with me. I know that that may actually not be the worst thing in the world in the long run, but... I have the feeling that if she broke up with me, a week later she'd realize she made a mistake and would regret breaking up with me. I don't know.
So now the big question is if I'm okay if this relationship ends... I cried like a b**** yesterday morning after I got home from her place when the subject of breakup came up... I get teared up just at the thought of losing her. But I don't like how this is a "don't move in, we break up" kind of 'deal.' It just makes me think that she might make these kind of 'deals' later, like "if you don't go on this vacation, we end" or "if you don't help pay for this [something we wouldn't need at all], we end."
I really don't want to lose her. We started dating and we connected fast. I wish our relationship wasn't depending on this...
Listen to your gut! It's practically screaming at you right now.
The fact that the future of your relationship depends on moving in with them, to help them defray expenses, means your relationship isn't built on a solid foundation. You know this would be the wrong choice based on everything else you've written in this thread.
If you moving in then move in with one person not with a group. Once long ago my brother had a terrible scenario doing that. At the end my father pay off the lease and got my brother out of the mess. So ... things can happen.
They told me that they could afford it without me, but then when they started looking at all the extra costs (groceries, wifi, etc.) it doesn't look like they can (they all work in retail).
If I don't move in, she will break up with me. I know that that may actually not be the worst thing in the world in the long run, but... I have the feeling that if she broke up with me, a week later she'd realize she made a mistake and would regret breaking up with me. I don't know.
So now the big question is if I'm okay if this relationship ends... I cried like a b**** yesterday morning after I got home from her place when the subject of breakup came up... I get teared up just at the thought of losing her. But I don't like how this is a "don't move in, we break up" kind of 'deal.' It just makes me think that she might make these kind of 'deals' later, like "if you don't go on this vacation, we end" or "if you don't help pay for this [something we wouldn't need at all], we end."
I really don't want to lose her. We started dating and we connected fast. I wish our relationship wasn't depending on this...
Let her ,, it is your choice be the sugar daddy or not. What this girls need a sugar daddy to pay the bills rent and bring there bring here,, when daddy gotta no money they will say get lost. Sorry but I feel very rude to be threaten like that.
They told me that they could afford it without me, but then when they started looking at all the extra costs (groceries, wifi, etc.) it doesn't look like they can (they all work in retail).
If I don't move in, she will break up with me. I know that that may actually not be the worst thing in the world in the long run, but... I have the feeling that if she broke up with me, a week later she'd realize she made a mistake and would regret breaking up with me. I don't know.
So now the big question is if I'm okay if this relationship ends... I cried like a b**** yesterday morning after I got home from her place when the subject of breakup came up... I get teared up just at the thought of losing her. But I don't like how this is a "don't move in, we break up" kind of 'deal.' It just makes me think that she might make these kind of 'deals' later, like "if you don't go on this vacation, we end" or "if you don't help pay for this [something we wouldn't need at all], we end."
I really don't want to lose her. We started dating and we connected fast. I wish our relationship wasn't depending on this...
I'm going to say this with love, but it's going to come out rude.
Man up.
This woman saw you coming a mile away. For safety reasons if nothing else, no way in hell would I move in with a man that I knew for only six months. I'm not sure if this is your first relationship or not - sounds like it - but this woman is taking advantage of you.
I saw the first red flag way back on page one when you both were arguing about the rent - she was more worried about her friends getting screwed over.
Don't wait for her to break up with you. End it, now, or pay - literally and figuratively - later.
Although it might be painful, the fact that this relationship DOES depend on a financial agreement shows her true feelings for you.
Be happy you learned this about her now rather than after you moved in together.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mochamajesty
I'm going to say this with love, but it's going to come out rude.
Man up.
This woman saw you coming a mile away. For safety reasons if nothing else, no way in hell would I move in with a man that I knew for only six months. I'm not sure if this is your first relationship or not - sounds like it - but this woman is taking advantage of you.
I saw the first red flag way back on page one when you both were arguing about the rent - she was more worried about her friends getting screwed over.
Don't wait for her to break up with you. End it, now, or pay - literally and figuratively - later.
IMHO she never really loved or even liked you. She saw an easy mark. All she saw was your wallet.
You are very lucky that you discovered that before you signed a lease.
Okay. I'll talk to her tonight and if she keeps bringing up money or pressuring me into signing right now, I'll end it.
This isn't my first serious relationship, but the first where apartments came up.
Good point! A couple I am friends with used to share their apartment with another person. The couple got the bigger bedroom but they did split the rent between 3 for the reasons you mentioned.
My co-worker's sons took my suggestion and split the rent based on a prorated basis of who got the bigger room.
Quote:
Originally Posted by throughthelookingglass
I just don't know. During a conversation, she said that if we didn't move in together, it would likely end the relationship sooner than moving in together. I mean, I'm not the typical college student that likes to party or see how many women I can be with. I like being in a relationship knowing that we can take it next steps. I just don't want to make a bad decision
I feel happier with the fact that moving in could be the next step. I would be devastated if we broke up. That would distract me more from school. I wouldn't feel happy enough to finish strong this semester.
You've been talking about moving in together for over a month now and now you are back-pedaling on that idea. Is it possible she said these things out of anger and hurt feelings in the heat of the moment?
Also, you could point out to her that you moving in with your brother could be a good thing - if the roommates get on her nerves, or if she needs somewhere quieter to study or work on a huge project, it would give her a place to go to escape from them.
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