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Well I'll try to keep this short.. Due to chronic pain issues and depression that results from it, I find it difficult.. Actually nearly impossible.. to leave my boyfriend. This post will probably elicit responses such as "just leave him" but I've tried. I guess.. Is it ok to be with someone who you know isn't the one? We've been dating a while and I tried leaving a few times and he sucks me back. I think some times I get anxiety and just need to be alone so maybe it's not him. But sometimes I feel like he stifles my creative energy, or says rude things that I don't need to hear.. But it's not a constant thing.
Is it ok to be with someone who you know isn't the one? We've been dating a while and I tried leaving a few times and he sucks me back.
^^^ NOPE!!! Life is too short!
End this relationship, because most likely it's a never ending source of your depression. Looks like you would be much happier without him. Just give it a try and see!!
^^^ NOPE!!! Life is too short!
End this relationship, because most likely it's a never ending source of your depression. Looks like you would be much happier without him. Just give it a try and see!!
I've tried leaving him, I wasn't really happier, so I don't know. I'm almost thinking I should just ride it out then leave if I meet someone because it's too hard to leave, I'm too emotionally attached.
I've tried leaving him, I wasn't really happier, so I don't know. I'm almost thinking I should just ride it out then leave if I meet someone because it's too hard to leave, I'm too emotionally attached.
Right so you would rather meet someone first and possibly cheat instead of leaving him?. Plus being too emotionally detached to one bloke would be a major red flag for many men so good luck in meeting someone new.
I'm sure being alone and single even for a little while is not that bad
Right so you would rather meet someone first and possibly cheat instead of leaving him?. Plus being too emotionally detached to one bloke would be a major red flag for many men so good luck in meeting someone new.
I'm sure being alone and single even for a little while is not that bad
Ya that's a good idea and everything but I don't have any other friends. I wouldn't cheat on him I would break up with him beforehand.
did it ever occur to you that he might be the cause of your depression?
Quote:
Originally Posted by elnina
^^^ NOPE!!! Life is too short!
End this relationship, because most likely it's a never ending source of your depression. Looks like you would be much happier without him. Just give it a try and see!!
She said that she has chronic pain issues that cause the depression in her OP. However, I do suspect he's adding to it as she also said she knows he's not "the one."
I have a friend who is dating someone who by his own admission he is settling for. I have noticed that the more depressed he is about other aspects of his life, the more attractive she becomes. His confidence comes back, and his attraction to her wanes again. So yes, I think depression can definitely keep you with someone you may not normally stay with because when you are feeling that low, the last thing you want to be is alone on top of it.
Some people are so toxic that they are capable of literally draining the life energy of a partner they are in a relationship with.
There are multiple things that could cause a toxic partner to be that way and some of which they may not even be conscious of: like a deeply ingrained personality disorder or pattern of behavior (BPD, narcissism, etc).
One relationship I was in awhile ago left me in an almost cocoon-like phase. And escaping from the relationship enabled me to transform into something that could fly away.
And thus, my true purpose in life was found and my journey began.
You could try to see a therapist who would help you dealing with attachment issues, low self esteem and other emotional issues. This alone is adding a lot of weight to your existing physical pain.
You need to get detached. You need to stop this dependency, and start to focus on yourself, help yourself, get well, feel better. A person doesn't need to be in a relationship all the times. It's perfectly fine to stop dating for a while, to gain some perspective in your life.
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