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You claim to have tried everything but I am not so sure. The three cats only have one litter box? Because that is what it sounds like in your first post. One litter box for three cats is not doable. As a rule, there should be +1 litter box per number of cats in the household. So, you should have four. That doesn't mean you really need four -- I have two cats and one box -- but any time my cats have ever had issues, or if they are going through a stressful time, I break out another one.
Just saying that the cat may not want to share a litter box with two others.
This is not a question that can be answered objectively (cat versus house importance). It's an issue of incompatibility, as Ruth said. Before you marry you should agree on your dedication to animals. I would never give up my cats unless I absolutely had to, and my boyfriend agrees. I would not marry someone who didn't love animals like I do. And you should not necessarily have to tolerate a peeing cat, just as your husband shouldn't HAVE to give her up. It is an unfortunate situation.
My husband and I are at the point that we’re talking about divorce. We have several issues, but one that keeps causing fights is his cat peeing all over our house. The house was purchased before we were married. I put $20K of my hard earned money into the down payment and repairs. He did not contribute anything, but we were engaged so he was a co-signer on the loan for the house. Now the cat is peeing all over the house and I feel like she’s destroying what I’ve worked so hard for. We’ve tried everything to get her to stop and she won’t. We have two other cats who are perfectly fine and go in their litter boxes. He tells me that I’m heartless for caring so much about our house. I try to explain that it’s going to cost us thousands of dollars to fix everything that she’s destroyed. Am I wrong for wanting to find a new home for this cat? I know it’s bad but I constantly remind him that I’m the one that made the sacrifices needed to get into that house. I was saving for a long time when I met him. I didn't make much money at the time, but I took a lot of pride when I was able to purchase a home. If others tell me that I’m heartless and should be willing to live with a cat that pees everywhere, then maybe I’ll consider changing my mind. However, I don’t think I’m wrong.
I know people have bigger problems than this. I’m not trying to make it sound like my life is horrible. I just want to know if I’m in the wrong for feeling this way.
No girl. Put that dern cat out. Mine started doing the same thing. He was perfectly trained, but preffered to pee on my laundry!!! That happened for two days until the cat was put out!! I work too hard for my stuff! The cats pretty happy outside anyways!
Am I wrong for wanting to find a new home for this cat?
I guess it depends on why the cat is peeing around the house. There is usually a reason for it. If she is not comfortable with the other cats in the house, then she would probably do better in another home with no other animals. If that is not the reason, then it seems you just want to dump your responsibility as a pet owner on someone else. Do you think the cat will magically stop peeing around the house in someone else's home? Most likely, the stress of the adjustment to a new home with new owners will just encourage the peeing. And how long before those new owners get tired of it and what will they do? Will they surrender the cat at a shelter where she might be euthanized if she doesn't get adopted? Or will they dump her on the street? Who will take a cat that pees everywhere? Don't you worry what her fate will be?
When you take a cat in, you agree to care for it, it's your responsibility - not a responsibility until it becomes inconvenient. It's a living creature and it needs care. Have you taken it to the vet? Is there a medical reason for the peeing? At the very least, a sedative will normally help with this kind of issue and the vet can prescribe that. Maybe I'm wrong but it doesn't sound like you have explored all options.
Regardless, I do not think this is worth getting a divorce over, but it sounds like you're looking for a reason/justification to file for divorce. If you don't want to be in the marriage anymore, don't be. You don't need approval from anyone to leave your marriage, and you don't need to blame the cat.
No girl. Put that dern cat out. Mine started doing the same thing. He was perfectly trained, but preffered to pee on my laundry!!! That happened for two days until the cat was put out!! I work too hard for my stuff! The cats pretty happy outside anyways!
Cats don't just randomly decide they prefer peeing elsewhere, there's a reason for it and your lack of concern for any medical or psychological problems is shockingly neglectful.
First there is no logical reason I can think of to have a boyfriend be a co signer on a loan for a home, especially one you are taking all of the credit for sacrificing along the way.
Next, talk to your husband and continue to talk to your husband about this issue until you get it resolved.
Take the cat to the vet, perhaps there is a medical reason for this behavior.
You claim to have tried everything but I am not so sure. The three cats only have one litter box? Because that is what it sounds like in your first post. One litter box for three cats is not doable. As a rule, there should be +1 litter box per number of cats in the household. So, you should have four. That doesn't mean you really need four -- I have two cats and one box -- but any time my cats have ever had issues, or if they are going through a stressful time, I break out another one.
Just saying that the cat may not want to share a litter box with two others.
This is not a question that can be answered objectively (cat versus house importance). It's an issue of incompatibility, as Ruth said. Before you marry you should agree on your dedication to animals. I would never give up my cats unless I absolutely had to, and my boyfriend agrees. I would not marry someone who didn't love animals like I do. And you should not necessarily have to tolerate a peeing cat, just as your husband shouldn't HAVE to give her up. It is an unfortunate situation.
Our vet also says that you need a litter box for every cat plus an extra litter box. We had two cats so had three litter boxes. One used each box and one cat sometimes used the third box. Many people also do not scoop as often as they should scoop. We normally did it three times a day. So start there to see if there is an easy fix.
We also had a cat with urinary problems. We took him to the vet numerous times but nothing worked and we finally had to rehome the cat to a farm. We suspected that there was some type of genetic issue as one of the cat's siblings (adopted by a different family) had the same problem and had to be put to sleep when nothing worked for them, either. Two other cat siblings were fine. In fact one sibling just celebrated his 19th birthday and has never even once peed outside the litter box.
Before we rehomed our cat he ruined our couch, our loveseat, two book cases, the stereo speakers and numerous other things. He also ruined the carpet AND the padding AND the subfloor causing thousands of dollars of damage throughout the entire house. The entire house smelled like cat pee. It was awful.
You claim to have tried everything but I am not so sure. The three cats only have one litter box? Because that is what it sounds like in your first post. One litter box for three cats is not doable. As a rule, there should be +1 litter box per number of cats in the household. So, you should have four. That doesn't mean you really need four -- I have two cats and one box -- but any time my cats have ever had issues, or if they are going through a stressful time, I break out another one.
Just saying that the cat may not want to share a litter box with two others.
This is not a question that can be answered objectively (cat versus house importance). It's an issue of incompatibility, as Ruth said. Before you marry you should agree on your dedication to animals. I would never give up my cats unless I absolutely had to, and my boyfriend agrees. I would not marry someone who didn't love animals like I do. And you should not necessarily have to tolerate a peeing cat, just as your husband shouldn't HAVE to give her up. It is an unfortunate situation.
Agreed - if you have three cats, you should have 4 litter boxes. This could definitely be the reason for the problem.
However, like I say, this is obviously not actually about the cat. The OP clearly wants a reason to get divorced.
The cat is just the tip of the iceberg here and an excuse. You and he have bigger issues, I am sure.
We have 3 cats and Lucky does screw up once in a while, but usually when I forget to clean the litter boxes that day, he is super sensitive about it. If your Husband really loves you and the cat, put the cat in a confined area by herself (like a small room with tile) with a totally clean large litter box with no top on it. Keep her in there for a week or so, and watch her behavior. Once she starts using the litter box it will be more likely she will do it all the time.
The vet visit is also a good idea. My Sons one cat had a urinary tract infection that required constant medication, and she would pee sometimes out of pain.
Let me tell you from someone who has been there, divorce is a horrible thing to go through and no one wins, except the Lawyers. You will suffer, he will suffer, and, if you have kids, they will suffer the most. Everyone thinks divorce gets rid of problems, but, IMO, it really only tears people apart and drains them financially.
Exactly what I was thinking but did not want to be the first to say it.
They have money issues. The cat is just a symptom of deeper problems.
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