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Damn, there is just something off about all this post and most of these posts. It's just, well, simple, rigid, and awkward. Something seems really wrong.
I feel threads like this and a couple of others are what happens when someone has been alone for too long and doesn't want to go back to that state out of fear it will be years again before they meet someone else.
Between a few posts here and what I'm seeing with a friend IRL, I definitely know what I don't want in a relationship and I hope that if I ever start posting threads like these in which things are clearly one-sided, those here I've built up a rapport with will set me straight!
OP, you fell hard and fast for this women. No judgment because it happens. She, however, knows this and is using it and you to her advantage. As was mentioned, she threw you a bone this past weekend. She sees value in keeping you around but this relationship isn't an equal partnership - it's entirely on her terms and it's going to continue to be that way until she meets someone else and dumps you.
I feel threads like this and a couple of others are what happens when someone has been alone for too long and doesn't want to go back to that state out of fear it will be years again before they meet someone else.
Between a few posts here and what I'm seeing with a friend IRL, I definitely know what I don't want in a relationship and I hope that if I ever start posting threads like these in which things are clearly one-sided, those here I've built up a rapport with will set me straight!
OP, you fell hard and fast for this women. No judgment because it happens. She, however, knows this and is using it and you to her advantage. As was mentioned, she threw you a bone this past weekend. She sees value in keeping you around but this relationship isn't an equal partnership - it's entirely on her terms and it's going to continue to be that way until she meets someone else and dumps you.
It can be hard for women to get rid of nice guys because we're told that if he's a decent guy and treats us well, we should be happy with that. If OP isn't getting what he wants from the situation, he should stop seeing her. I'm not saying that it's ok for her to use him whenever she wants, but only the OP can stop that. If he keeps seeing her regardless, she has no incentive to give him more attention.
It can be hard for women to get rid of nice guys because we're told that if he's a decent guy and treats us well, we should be happy with that. If OP isn't getting what he wants from the situation, he should stop seeing her. I'm not saying that it's ok for her to use him whenever she wants, but only the OP can stop that. If he keeps seeing her regardless, she has no incentive to give him more attention.
Maybe I'm just cold-hearted, but if I'm not feeling it, I won't keep dating someone just because he's a nice guy. I don't feel that's fair to either one of us. But when that does happen, I do have that moment of panic of "This was the first guy I've been out with in 3 years. How long is it going to be before I meet another?" And I question if I'm making a mistake when I know I'm not.
Without going into the details as to why this is happening, I have a friend who is admittedly settling for someone. It's heartbreaking to watch as they are both great people and I want better for both of them. It's so incredibly hard to see my friend trying to believe they can make this work and are happy in this relationship when deep down they know they really aren't. ("They" meaning my friend in that last sentence in an attempt to keep things gender neutral).
But you're right in that the OP is an adult and only he can choose whether or not to see the red flags this woman is waving left and right and stay or go.
The OP is being badly played and although this thread is distinctly amusing in some ways, I do feel bad for the OP. He's the nice guy provider while the woman gets it on the side from the guy or guys who excite her. She wants to have her cake and eat it. She is looking provider, which this guy is capable of being but ideally she wants an exciting guy to provide for her. As this guy isn't exciting her (and her ex isn't providing for her) she is still looking for both in one guy rather than getting 1 of each in 2.
I believe the OP is autistic, so finds it hard to relate to women and struggles to read situations and will take everything literally. He is desperate and needy as well so finds it double difficult to read the signs that are staring him in the face. I know it's not easy because he finds it hard to meet anyone so he's worried he'll be alone for ages again and this woman at least gives him sex now and again. It's a bad arrangement though and he needs to find the self-respect to walk away. This is up to him. If he's a glutton for punishment then he's only got himself to blame.
At the moment the guy sees the sex as worth it but if this woman is still fertile she'll be pregnant soon.
The OP is being badly played and although this thread is distinctly amusing in some ways, I do feel bad for the OP. He's the nice guy provider while the woman gets it on the side from the guy or guys who excite her. She wants to have her cake and eat it. She is looking provider, which this guy is capable of being but ideally she wants an exciting guy to provide for her. As this guy isn't exciting her (and her ex isn't providing for her) she is still looking for both in one guy rather than getting 1 of each in 2.
I believe the OP is autistic, so finds it hard to relate to women and struggles to read situations and will take everything literally. He is desperate and needy as well so finds it double difficult to read the signs that are staring him in the face. I know it's not easy because he finds it hard to meet anyone so he's worried he'll be alone for ages again and this woman at least gives him sex now and again. It's a bad arrangement though and he needs to find the self-respect to walk away. This is up to him. If he's a glutton for punishment then he's only got himself to blame.
At the moment the guy sees the sex as worth it but if this woman is still fertile she'll be pregnant soon.
Okay, admittedly, I didn't read each post in-between the beginning 'til now, but from what I have seen and the other referenced topics by the OP, this is not sounding good. It does feel out of balance and does appear as if she is taking advantage. Even if she was not seeing other men, it seems she has nothing to offer him and has problems. (Maybe she is prostituting herself). And if you say this man is autistic and insecure, it's not helping. Unfortunately, he is not recognizing the reality of the situation and does not posess the ability to break it off as others would. Hopefully, he can do so .. then focus upon himself and meeting someone else. He could easily be free of this. It is awful to hear of these kinds of situations.
Okay, admittedly, I didn't read each post in-between the beginning 'til now, but from what I have seen and the other referenced topics by the OP, this is not sounding good. It does feel out of balance and does appear as if she is taking advantage. Even if she was not seeing other men, it seems she has nothing to offer him and has problems. (Maybe she is prostituting herself). And if you say this man is autistic and insecure, it's not helping. Unfortunately, he is not recognizing the reality of the situation and does not posess the ability to break it off as others would. Hopefully, he can do so .. then focus upon himself and meeting someone else. He could easily be free of this. It is awful to hear of these kinds of situations.
It is sad, but the guy needs to break it off now while it's still early enough and he's not further involved, otherwise he really will be trapped. All he's really going to lose is some sex which can be balanced out by the regaining of his self-respect. I fear he won't make that choice though and will be hurt more in the long run.
Dude if I were you I'd hightail it out of this relationship. From my viewpoint (based off your posts) there is nothing about her that seems even remotely trustworthy or attractive.
Location: Subconscious Syncope, USA (Northeastern US)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by anonymous51
My girlfriend texted me last night and asked me to stop texting her for a couple days. She said that she wants to be alone, and this weekend, she will be busy with friends. She said that she can't see me, and she will text me on Monday. Now I understand perfectly that we can't see each other for a few days, because sometimes people want to be alone, spend time with family or friends, or have a girl's night out. I totally understand that, especially since I was with friends earlier this month. What I didn't understand is why I can't text her or communicate with her at all until Monday. I texted her even when I was hanging out with friends on a weekend earlier this month. Should I be concerned? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
You guys obviously don't have a commitment, so who cares?
Go out and have a good time yourself!
Most men, especially those in a committed relationship, would look forward to the chance at such freedom.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, or makes you realize you have just been passing time.
Last edited by ConeyGirl52; 05-22-2016 at 08:12 AM..
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