He Cheated and May Have Gotten Her Pregnant (women, cheating, younger)
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This is about a male friend who has been seeing a lady for about a year and slept with another woman who he may have gotten pregnant (still waiting for test results).
I put this in the Romantic Relationships forum because I am curious/amazed at how some people fool other people and some people are easily fooled and/or blind.
He's been going out with this woman for about a year and she does not know he continues to sleep with multiple other women. She has caught him in a few white lies but no smoking gun yet. He will tell her he needs a night out with the guys but that really means he goes to bars looking to meet other women. Yet she continues to dote on him big time.
He feels guilty but it has not stopped him. As I mentioned, he may have knocked up this other lady he does not know well (she claimed to be on the pill). I am amazed at his multi-tasking skills....don't know how he juggles all of this. Not saying it is right but damn...
Any thoughts on how some people just put up with this stuff....or refuse to see it?
Any thoughts on how some people just put up with this stuff....or refuse to see it?
Perhaps because those who DO know aren't sharing that information with her.
You seem to know much more about him than she does.
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Yes, clearly I do know more. Did not mean to suggest otherwise.
But there are situations when people find out or have a very good idea yet refuse to do anything about it...
Why do some people choose to be friends with people like this? It's a mystery.
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One thing you need to tell your boy is use condoms if he's gonna sleep around. Raw dogging multiple chics is the quickest & surest way to get found out. Bad things always happen to those living wreckless & foul.. * As for why people stay with cheaters, they simply don't want their illusions shattered. Neither they nor their cheating mate live in truth or reality. For some it is easier to pretend and play make-believe than to get real with themselves. Realness is full of harsh truths that are just too painful for people that are weak-willed and afraid to go alone.
... I am amazed at his multi-tasking skills....don't know how he juggles all of this. Not saying it is right but damn... Any thoughts on how some people just put up with this stuff....or refuse to see it?
When it comes to sexual pleasure, men like your friend will make the time and find a way. It will likely continue until his world changes from a possible pregnancy or an STD affects one of his partners. When unnecessary risks are taken, a person must be prepared for all sorts of potential consequences.
A relationship has the uncanny ability to make people blind to what is in front of them. They only see and hear what they want, which makes coming to grips with the reality very difficult and painful.
When it comes to sexual pleasure, men like your friend will make the time and find a way. It will likely continue until his world changes from a possible pregnancy or an STD affects one of his partners. When unnecessary risks are taken, a person must be prepared for all sorts of potential consequences.
A relationship has the uncanny ability to make people blind to what is in front of them. They only see and hear what they want, which makes coming to grips with the reality very difficult and painful.
Truer words! It took years for me to overcome the inclination you describe above, blind to what is in front of you. And it's not just when it comes to a partner's infidelity - along with that usually comes a lot of other antisocial and destructive tendencies. Now I have 'tools' in my toolbox, to counteract my inclination to blindness.
Some of those tools:
1. Am I 'filling in the blanks' myself, or am I asking him directly about the things I'm uncertain about?
2. How do his words and actions make me feel about myself?
3. Does he inspire me to be the best possible person I can be?
4. (This is the most important one) If I were a man, would I want to be just like him?
I know some women like to 'groom' their partners into their ideal man. I'm not interested in that at all. I don't want a fixer upper project, I want a man who comes ready. At my age (and I expect him to be within the five year range, give or take, of my own age) he should have his life together. I feel for the younger generation, 'failure to launch' seems to be a commonplace occurrence. Nowadays it's Netflix and chill.
There are multitude of reasons why people put up with it/refuse to see it: denial, low self esteem, emotional abuse. Some people feel someone is better than no one.
In my case I was in denial at first but my ex was also emotionally abusive. He lied, manipulated, and did a lot of head games to make me doubt myself & my perceptions. If I was not accepting his bs he would change tactics. When I finally ended the relationship, I felt like I had woken up literally. My mind was clearer and I no longer bought the nonsense he was spewing.
Perhaps because those who DO know aren't sharing that information with her.
You seem to know much more about him than she does.
That's what I was thinking. How can you know something when you don't know it? It's not being blind but rather trusting what your partner tells you. He's a cheating jerk, don't pin it on her because she hasn't figured it out yet.
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