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You can't get what you want without asking for it. Tell him you've "noticed" him for a while and that you'd like to go out with him. What about it? You have absolutely nothing to lose.
I can't count the number of women I saw in my single days that I wondered about. I will NEVER know if they were single, available, interested, not interested... it wasn't possible to enter their world or I didn't think so at the time. I met my ex-wife cold, because I spoke up on a bus we were both riding. Ex-wife. I don't think I will ever again be excited when someone I've asked for their phone number gives it to me. The correct number! The common thread of all these posts is that its got to be this guy or this woman. No, it doesn't. I've passed up dozens if not more attractive women and lots of guys have done the same. So what, there will be more, there's always more. Tomorrow is another day.
In a thread on here someone polled men and women as to how often they see a really pretty or hot member of the opposite sex. The guys said every day. This jibes with my experience. Every single day out and about I see one or more really nice looking women. The women all said rarely. One said it had been years, like 3 years since she'd seen a cute guy. So when a woman says she is crushing on a dude I know he is exceptional. And why would a man that exceptional be available to be picked up simply because some woman comes up to him and says "hey, I've been checking you out for some time now, wanna date?" I don't think so.
Yes, nothing says "bottom of the barrel" more than a friendly "hi!"
But is it a friendly "hi" or is it loaded with portent? Is the next question "are you married"? Of course it is. So... I remain unconvinced. Avoid awkward "hi" scenarios and meet people online where they are expecting to be "hi'ed", or arrange a proper introduction through gym personnel (I'm serious), or just be charming when someone chats you up at the hand sanitizer. Pay it forward.
People are so freaking scared to talk to one another these days. I just don't get it. At this rate the human race is going to die off.
I agree with everyone who said to say "hi" or otherwise strike up a conversation. You're probably not "shy," you simply lack confidence or worry too much about the risk of putting yourself out there. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. And for another cliche, life is too short to wait around for what you want. Go for it!
But is it a friendly "hi" or is it loaded with portent? Is the next question "are you married"? Of course it is.
"Loaded with portent"? LOL It's a greeting.
What an odd, restricted and depressing mindset to live in, where a "hi" is forboding and ALWAYS followed by, "Are you married?," and men who don't automatically hump you are gay. And I can't imagine many things more awkward than asking the people who work at the gym to play matchmaker.
Quote:
Originally Posted by clueless_
There's a guy at the gym where we both have been checking each other out for the last few months. However, neither one of us have said anything to each other.
OP has detected something between her and this guy that has motivated her enough to come out of her shell. I say she should do what typical, reasonable people do when they see someone interesting and initiate a conversation.
She certainly could be wrong about his interest in her. But life is too short for endless speculation.
The guy that is the subject of the o.p.'s interest is gay. Not because he hasn't made any effort at contact, but because he is in a gym AND he hasn't made any effort at contact.
Maybe he is also debating this on an internet forum and is worried to come off as stalkerish or creepy.
When you next see him, hold eye contact, nod, smile and say "hey," as if you were acknowledging an acquaintance you already know.
He will either say "hey" back and move on, or stop and chat. If he moves on, it does not mean he dislikes like you; you simply caught him off guard. He may make up for it later when you/he he leaves and he makes an effort to say goodbye; or the next time he sees you and says "hello" first.
If, however, he suddenly stops paying attention to you then he is probably not into you and finding out cost you nothing in terms of pride, ego, etc.
Quote:
Originally Posted by clueless_
There's a guy at the gym where we both have been checking each other out for the last few months. However, neither one of us have said anything to each other.
I'm too shy to approach him and I'm starting to think that perhaps he's just not that interested to approach me since it has taken so long. But I have the biggest crush on him and I almost can't get over someone unless someone new comes along or I get rejected.
I see him looking at me all the time and comes by me almost each time he sees me at the gym. I was thinking of walking pass him one day while he's resting between exercises and just drop him a note with my number. I find that easier than to interrupt him and talk to him, or trying to talk to him when dozens of people are around trying to work out.
Would the note be too desperate? Guys, would you be turned off if someone did that to you? I don't know what else to do.
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