Yay or Nay: Staying Friends with "Friends with Benefits". (movies, girlfriend)
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Would you say you honor your friendships more than your relationship?
For me that is like asking me to choose between my children.... and my wife knows this. I don't think I would be where am in life or were not for my friends. In fact, my wife was part of that circle.... she is core to who I am today. No matter what happens she will always be a part of me.
But to answer your question.... this thread has a part of my story. In the end, I chose to save my marriage and honor my commitments to my wife. In the process lost someone who was such an integral part of my life and hurt her... the thought of how I ended it still riips me up inside....
If you are in a relationship, are you able to stay friends with your past "Friends with Benefits" as now just "Friends"? How does your significant other feel about this? What do you see as acceptable? what do you see as crossing the line?
Nay for me as its unfair on my partner to put unnecessary doubt and make her worry
I've got friends that I've known for years that I've slept with when we first met but for one reason or another we ended up as just friends..... That's not a problem but a regular FWB ..... Nah
Location: Subconscious Syncope, USA (Northeastern US)
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If you are in a committed relationship - why would you want to keep close ties to people you had sex with? Better yet - what is the point of their interest in remaining close to you?
Is this type of thing a two-way street? You both go out for an evening with your former sex partners - like one big group outing?
I married young but I know for a fact my husband wasn't interested in a friendship with anyone I formerly had sex with, lol. I really wasn't interested in getting together with any of his former loves either.
Is this about hedging your bets incase things don't go well? Is it a way to ensure things don't go well?
If you are in a committed relationship - why would you want to keep close ties to people you had sex with?
Is this type of thing a two-way street? You both go out for an evening with your former sex partners - like one big group outing?
I married young but I know for a fact my husband wasn't interested in a friendship with anyone I formerly had sex with, lol. I really wasn't interested in getting together with any of his former loves either.
Is this about hedging your bets incase things don't go well? Is it a way to ensure things don't go well?
The friendship is what's hard to give up not the sex.....
A quick one nighter and it's over and out but a FWB is not just casual and reoccurring sex but also a platonic friendship in many ways.....sounds strange I know LOL but you'll find you end up spending time with them that doesn't involve sex such as going out for a drink to catch up or shopping etc etc. Just like you would a normal friend.
I know the whole point of having that type of " relationship " is no strings but after spending time with someone and have a bond with it's hard to just say good and end contact. But again it not the sex but the friendship that's missed.
If you are in a committed relationship - why would you want to keep close ties to people you had sex with? Better yet - what is the point of their interest in remaining close to you?
Is this type of thing a two-way street? You both go out for an evening with your former sex partners - like one big group outing?
I married young but I know for a fact my husband wasn't interested in a friendship with anyone I formerly had sex with, lol. I really wasn't interested in getting together with any of his former loves either.
Is this about hedging your bets incase things don't go well? Is it a way to ensure things don't go well?
The question that you should be asking is "why not?"
If you are worried that your partner is "hedging bets" then its really a lack of trust that's the problem. If this is the case, I'd be more worried with coworkers.... workplace romance is very common in our society.
I don't consider my friends (former FWB) "hedging bets", we were never interested in each other romantically. If I were looking to "hedging bets" against my marriage, it would be with someone that I was romantically interested in... not just a friend that I happen to have sex with. Friendships always come first before sex in m book.... some of them 15+ years now.. it would have been a tragic loss in my life if they were not a part of my life.
LC30 is correct. A close friendship is difficult to give up.. sex.. well its easier.
As for hanging out with them... my wife comes along as most couples do when they get married. Its really no different than other groups of friends. No different than before just now, they respect our boundaries as friends should.
Last edited by usayit; 06-28-2016 at 06:55 PM..
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