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If the guy isnt looking and the women is interested, her stares and 'subtle' signals don't mean squat. We can play the staring game all day, but if no one initiates verbal contact, nothing is going to happen.
Lol
There was this one time at a bar where long stares were exchanged throughout the night with no verbal contact whatsoever and dude made a bold move and slipped his number in my hand as I was leaving the restroom.
Mad confidence. That was a very "Whoa! What was that!?" moment.
There was this one time at a bar where long stares were exchanged throughout the night with no verbal contact whatsoever and dude made a bold move and slipped his number in my hand as I was leaving the restroom.
Mad confidence. That was a very "Whoa! What was that!?" moment.
Girl, he kissed me before saying a word, as I exited the bathroom and headed toward the exit. Lol The bar was closing so we met up at another location. Funny, for having cell phones, it was all old school number written on paper. I'm pretty sure we talked again later, but nothing came of it.
It seems as if your guy picker must be broken if this is what you are finding when you approach guys that you like. You don't seem to be able to judge their character very well if this is what is happening.
You need to find guys that don't think in terms of "easy" or a "quick lay".
Not ALL of the guys I went after were like this...but some were. And most of the guys I "chose" to go after were pretty upstanding guys...or, at least, I thought so when they caught my eye.
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Originally Posted by Just A Guy
Maybe your views on this are one reason you are having so much trouble finding men to have a relationship with.
No, because when I follow the "natural order of things" the relationship goes much smoother.
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Originally Posted by NewYorker11356
Overall, the double standards do suck.
Men and women should both be allowed to pursue without any ridiculous societal standards. The dating world would be MUCH BETTER for it.
Men and women ARE allowed to pursue. Nobody is saying they CAN'T pursue. I think what some women are saying on here is that when we DO pursue, it doesn't go anywhere, or things end up being weird down the line.
People are free to do what they want however, and what works for THEM. Pursuing a guy directly has never worked for ME, so that's why I stopped doing it. But other women are free to do what they want.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut
If the guy isnt looking and the women is interested, her stares and 'subtle' signals don't mean squat. We can play the staring game all day, but if no one initiates verbal contact, nothing is going to happen.
My point however, is that if the guy were even INTERESTED in the first place, he would have been looking at the girl. She would have ALREADY caught her eye...probably quicker than he caught hers. Men are very visual. If he hasn't "noticed" me, I assume he's either taken, gay, or I'm not his type. Plain and simple.
And believe me, if a woman wants a man to take notice, she will find a way to make sure he sees her. So that's not a problem, believe me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Just A Guy
Seems as if you and the guys you are dating are playing by some messed up rules. Decent guys don't think about having to follow rules in order to get the "success" of getting laid. Same with women who have healthy views of relationships.
These aren't actual rules. These aren't even hard and fast rules. It's just that people usually know what the best possible way to get the most favorable outcome.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Just A Guy
The ones that think this way are insecure and immature. This seems to be the type of guy you are approaching. Something about you is causing you to be attracted to guys like this.
Idk if it's so much that these guys are immature as it is that they are more traditional and perhaps have a lot of OPTIONS. Guys who have a ton of options usually like to do the picking and choosing.
If a guy has zero options, he's usually flattered a girl even took an interest in him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Just A Guy
Women can do the same thing. It seems as if you were not able to take your own advice when you initiated.
I don't give advice I don't take myself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Just A Guy
People generally don't stare for extended periods of time at someone. For most people, both men and women, being stared at is going to make them feel uncomfortable.
If staring is one of your modes of sending signals, this would also explain why you are having trouble finding someone. Staring can be very off-putting.
I'm not talking about leering at someone. It's a certain type of "look". Like in a bar, at a party.... You know it. It's like a glance, a smile, and then a look away. Then look back again.... smile.... I'm sure you've seen women do it. They're flirting. If a man doesn't get enough hints to walk across the room, well then....Idk what to say...
And besides...some of these guys were guy friends that I had known...not just strangers...so again, if a guy friend (someone I know well) can't make a move? Well then....idk what to say.
Another reason why guys shouldn't take dating advice from women who have skewed views of how relationships work.
Dude,,,have you EVER dated a woman? I wonder what woman can deal with such a condescending nature as yours. D-amn. Just because you don't agree with her (and who the he-ll are YOU..the relationship whisperer?) doesn't mean these things don't happen. I think she is spot on with a lot of her posts. You cant talk about OTHERS experiences as if YOU know BETTER than them about what kind of people they were meeting, and why things didn't work out. What she is saying is REALLY a thing. I just had the same thing happen.
That's just reality sometimes.
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Rejecting someone who rejected you. 
