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Im sorry, you go back and forth as your biggest attribute that you own, your home. yes its great that you do, so can i and the next person, its not anything that you have to highlight
I only partly in agreement with you, many people have such jacked up credit that they will never own a home, but the only women that his owning a home would be a plus are either those with credit so bad they could never own one, or a woman that is also as stressed out at the rat race as he was and is looking to downsize expenses.
My ex husband did pretty much what the OP did and his new wife is some 20 year old loser who spends 24/7 either on his couch, in his bed or the ****** seat of his motorcycle.
Something happens to some men once they get their home paid off, it's like they feel like "okay I'm done, I'll just coast from here on out". I know off quite a few other men who have done that, the OP is not as rare as your guys think he is.
Im sorry, you go back and forth as your biggest attribute that you own, your home. yes its great that you do, so can i and the next person, its not anything that you have to highlight
Plus what exactly is so great about it other than he owns it. Is it in a hot real estate market? Are the schools the best performing in the area? Are there currently bidding wars to get into the neighborhood? If there were something about this particular home or neighborhood to make it special or desirable, that would be one thing, but the OP has said no such thing. If he dates a woman in a superior neighborhood in terms of schools, safety, amenities, etc who has a mortgage, what makes him think she'll want to give that up to live in his paid for home in a less desirable neighborhood?
I live in my current neighborhood for a reason. It is one of the neighborhoods I described above. I'm not going to move to a home in an inferior neighborhood, where I have no home equity and where home values are less likely to increase, just because someone has paid off his home there. The schools where I live now are top notch and literally every scrap of available land is being built on to have new homes. It's just that popular. My mortgage is really reasonable and much much cheaper than I'd pay at the dumpy place across the street renting.
Money doesn't really enter the equation until I get serious about someone. Then I care more about how responsible someone is with the money that they make than I do about what they make. I stopped chasing money and status when my father died and I regretted spending 70 hours a week at work and not spending enough time with him.
Today happens to be the fourth anniversary of me owning my own home. Could I have bought a larger home if there were two incomes? Sure, but I could have done that anyway, but I didn't want to pay more in taxes and utilities, and this home is just perfect for me. No renovations necessary, although I did do some myself just to make it my own. It means so much to me that I was able to buy my home on my own and no one can take that from me.
I didn't read through this entire thread, but I didn't see how old the OP is or how old his dates are. Maybe older women are the ticket because they are mature enough to have different priorities and they most likely have theirs already, so they don't need yours.
Plus what exactly is so great about it other than he owns it. Is it in a hot real estate market? Are the schools the best performing in the area? Are there currently bidding wars to get into the neighborhood? If there were something about this particular home or neighborhood to make it special or desirable, that would be one thing, but the OP has said no such thing. If he dates a woman in a superior neighborhood in terms of schools, safety, amenities, etc who has a mortgage, what makes him think she'll want to give that up to live in his paid for home in a less desirable neighborhood?
I live in my current neighborhood for a reason. It is one of the neighborhoods I described above. I'm not going to move to a home in an inferior neighborhood, where I have no home equity and where home values are less likely to increase, just because someone has paid off his home there. The schools where I live now are top notch and literally every scrap of available land is being built on to have new homes. It's just that popular. My mortgage is really reasonable and much much cheaper than I'd pay at the dumpy place across the street renting.
LOL I don't know about the OP but my Ex viewed a home as nothing more than a place to sleep and store his stuff. our neighborhood was getting pretty bad but he did not want to move because he felt like he would be starting over. he was a big guy and an EX-Marine so he had no fear of the new neighbors, but I did.
He was not worried about equity because he was good with his hands and plans on living there until death.
But I think it comes down to being lazy, if my ex had a mortgage or paid rent he would not be able to work only when he feels like it, and spend his days tinkering and riding his motorcycle.
Plus what exactly is so great about it other than he owns it. Is it in a hot real estate market? Are the schools the best performing in the area? Are there currently bidding wars to get into the neighborhood?
Does not matter, I don't have school age children and I bought the house to live in, not to flip/sell
Quote:
If there were something about this particular home or neighborhood to make it special or desirable, that would be one thing, but the OP has said no such thing. If he dates a woman in a superior neighborhood in terms of schools, safety, amenities, etc who has a mortgage, what makes him think she'll want to give that up to live in his paid for home in a less desirable neighborhood?
My neighborhood is fine, nobody bothers me, my neighbors are all like in their 70's and older.
Quote:
I live in my current neighborhood for a reason. It is one of the neighborhoods I described above. I'm not going to move to a home in an inferior neighborhood, where I have no home equity and where home values are less likely to increase, just because someone has paid off his home there. The schools where I live now are top notch and literally every scrap of available land is being built on to have new homes. It's just that popular. My mortgage is really reasonable and much much cheaper than I'd pay at the dumpy place across the street renting.
Higher equity means higher taxes every year, I was pissed a few years back when they built new homes in my area and my taxes went up, they are still very low but before they were almost nothing.
The schools here have been attracting new people to the area because the highschool started a new aeronautics program(teaching highschool kids airplane mechanics and a flight school is in the works)
Which is sure to raise my taxes again. Thank goodness for the high crime rate 10 blocks from here.
But for about a 9 block radius around my house almost nothing happens, I'm 45 and I am the youngest person on my street by a decade.
The cold hard reality is is that some times you get to a certain point in life if you're a certain age and you just get accustomed to certain standard of living.
People don't usually like to go backwards in that regard. I know I'm experiencing it personally myself. OP you said you took a lesser paying job to avoid the "rat race" and I get it, I really do. I'm in that boat. I've always made good money but I'm really really hating my job, enough for me to have quit it but that's not my point, my point is is that sometimes you just can't back to ramen when you've had some good rib-eyes.
Does that make any sense?
Stuff is just stuff. Some of the richest and most famous guys are notorious for living "low on the hog". Warren Buffet living in the same relatively modest house in Omaha, NE he's always lived in? Michael Bloomberg taking the subway to work? These guys are successful because they're cagey and smart know that crap is just crap.
One of the things that frustrates me about online dating or IRL dating for that matter more than not finding a match is finding a match but her losing interest for shallow reasons.
Nothing worse than finding that 1 in 100 profiles that match up with my interests, hobbies, sense of humor and messaging her to find out we have a great flow of conversation only to hear her voice change once she steers the conversation to employment and or income, I can hear her lose interest almost immediately.
Now let me explain, I work from home, I make my own hours I own my own home out right and pay all my bill's on time.
The problem come when the woman probes to know what my disposable income is, I am honest and say it's not a lot.
I set my life up like this because the rat race was stressing me out so much that it was making me into a person I did not want to be, so I simplified my life once my house was paid for.
once a woman hears this she disappears, The last one I dated actually told me she was more materialistic than she thought she was(at least she was honest). We liked most of the same things got along great and were sexually compatible, she even tried to come back a few months later but I have a hard time going back to someone who unfairly hurt me.
I take care of myself, never so much as borrow a dime from anyone, don't use credit cards and most important I enjoy what I do, but get viewed as a bum by most women. are there any women out there who don't judge a man solely on disposable income?
Ladies what is your view on the subject?
Guys does this happen to you?
9 out of 10 are looking for financial security. Especially if someone ELSE is providing it. Don't believe me, just ask any woman from work that you know. Most will tell you the truth. It's not jaded, it just is, what it is...not the end of the world, just have to adapt to it.
The ones (men) that tend to hold onto their cash take a higher ground in OD. Online Dating is just another venue and in this case, "efficient". 9 out of 10 on those, either sex, IS for sex. Again, not a criticism, just is what it is.
Try to find some that aren't doing much better. Water does tend to seek it's own level.
The only reason why I cared about it in the past was because I felt women would desire me more. Once I got a little older and changed my mindset on some things, I realized that I need to do what makes me happy, not what I think will make someone else happy.
Careful. You're going to go triggering a lot of angry women with that attitude.
Something happens to some men once they get their home paid off, it's like they feel like "okay I'm done, I'll just coast from here on out". I know off quite a few other men who have done that, the OP is not as rare as your guys think he is.
I believe the majority of men do have that attitude. When the final mortgage payment is done, it's time to enjoy life and take it easy.
Again, this goes to show the massive difference between men and women. Most men want to take it easier in life afterwards. Women are more financially driven and don't want to take it easy. They have a more go-go attitude. Different priorities in life.
I believe the majority of men do have that attitude. When the final mortgage payment is done, it's time to enjoy life and take it easy.
Again, this goes to show the massive difference between men and women. Most men want to take it easier in life afterwards. Women are more financially driven and don't want to take it easy. They have a more go-go attitude. Different priorities in life.
In general, not in dating, I wonder if part of it is because women live longer. For most men the reality is they will die with a loved one by their side, maybe taking care of them in their golden years, maybe in their own home. Most women end up alone or in homes paying huge medical bills to have someone care for them.
I know it's on my mind. I'm young yet but I'm trying to save for retirement in such a way that I will have enough money to last me until my late 90s. The age that most of the women in my family live to. I can't take it easy in my mid 40s even if I have the mortgage paid off. Not unless I want to be living in a box and eating cat food at 89.
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