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* be looking just for sex, but lie about that.
* be looking for just sex, and tell us at the outset, including a gross D pic.
* have literally nothing in common with us, nothing NADA, ZIP, zero, zilch, nil BUT they really like our headlights.
* think we're just sort of "meh" but they're willing to bang us until the right woman comes along.
* flake before the date.
* have one date, then flake.
* have a couple of dates, then sex, then flake.
* turn out to have some secret hideous deal-breaker issue.
* just not be someone we "feel it" with.
* be a great guy and just right one!
But I am none of those guys, in fact I am the opposite, I am the one that gets flaked on, at best or I am the guy that they will date until some guy flashes money at them and I really only go after girls I have things in common with.
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WHY does one sex think the other has it "so easy"? God that's frustrating.
Because from puberty we see women get hit on constantly, many of us have to journey through hell to get one girls attention, and hearing even average looking women complain about 2 or more guys they have to decide between.
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As for all the things a guy "has to" be, we women have to be really nice-looking, friendly, funny, interesting, really nice-looking, intelligent but not pretentious, really nice-looking, sooooooooooo sexy but NOT A **** ZOMG (um...?), really nice-looking, have a self-supporting career but not act like we "don't need" a guy, be really nice-looking, be really nice-looking, be stable, secure, together, be young and be really nice-looking.
For me all a woman has to do is share a few common interests, be available and faithful.
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You "never see" it because an unattractive woman is generally literally invisible to some men. I've seen this...time and time again. You literally do not see the non-hotties, unless they are so seriously insulting to your Hottie Meter that they stand out in negative way. But the just sort of plain, sort of quiet, sort of average body, non-striking girls? They are invisible. But they exist. Please don't pretend that because you've "never seen" such a thing, it doesn't happen. You've "never seen" it because your eyes have been trained on the hottie like a dog chasing the mechanical rabbit in a race.
Actually I tend to go for women within my age range will go maybe 10 - 15 year either direction.
A few examples below of what I find attractive I tend to be attracted most to women with a non conformist appearance, meaning tattoos and piercings are a plus but not required. most of these women range from 35 - 52 some older some younger, as you can see I don't chase after barbies, all are photos of women in my area on a dating site, except the last one, Abbey from NCIS is almost my prototype dreamgirl lol
I do plan on getting a bike so I can ride the trails at night maybe I will meet someone then.
Not that you can’t meet someone ANY where and at any time of day but -- the first thing I thought when seeing your comment was “who the hell does he expect to meet biking at night?”
….you actually think biking at night is a way to increase the chances of you meeting someone??
ESPECIALLY at night, a woman would be LESS likely to let you approach.
Not that you can’t meet someone ANY where and at any time of day but -- the first thing I thought when seeing your comment was “who the hell does he expect to meet biking at night?”
….you actually think biking at night is a way to increase the chances of you meeting someone??
ESPECIALLY at night, a woman would be LESS likely to let you approach.
Apparently that is how they do it in Texas!
I asked similar about the night running and that was the answer (post #191).
You know OP, you are kind of a unique guy with a bit of an eccentric personality looking for a unique, perhaps just as eccentric woman. I don't think you should change anything since that is who you are and that is who you are interested in, but I think it would be helpful for your sanity to accept that the sort of man you are, combined with the sort of woman you are looking for is going to make the search more difficult for you. For example, just the idea of looking for people into late night, outdoor exercise is pretty limiting. I really think that is the root of your issues with dating and your frustrations with it.
As to why they want to know about your income, maybe there is something about that type you are looking into where that is important. Maybe they are materialistic (but the types you posted don't look materialistic to me. One is driving an old truck for crying out loud). Another answer may be, in the past, maybe they ran into deadbeats/slackers who mooched off of them and they are looking to avoid it again? Since you are looking at women 35-50 the chances she's run into a deadbeat boyfriend (or husband) that used them for money are there. So they might be sensitive to it.
I think a lot of their concerns have to do with you not having a 9-5 job, it can be a red flag. In your case, you aren't a slacker, but these women don't know that and a lot of slacker-types do use the term "self employed" when they really mean they don't have a job. Turn the tables a bit. If you heard from a woman that she doesn't have a regular job would you drop the conversation and not care, or would you ask questions? Most likely, you would. Either out of concern that she's looking for a sugar daddy or even just the curiosity of, "then what do you do?"
Actually if I got a date I would move my jogging night, and do my weight training while she is at work. I am at home the other 16 hours of the day.
I do plan on getting a bike so I can ride the trails at night maybe I will meet someone then.
I'm an avid trail rider and have been for the last 4 years. Not only will you not meet a woman at night, really anyone for that matter, don't expect to meet single women mountain bike riding. I categorize mountain bike riding under the same category as golf. Highly male dominated and mostly competitive. If you want an activity that allows you to meet women, you need tennis and 5ks in your routine. Heavily female dominated and tend to have single women rotating in and out.
I love bike riding, but usually the only women I see are the wives of the husbands who are riding. They're riding because they are wanting to get involved with what their husband is doing. None of these couples met mountain bike riding.
You have a routine that works for you and makes you happy; however, it's going to be difficult for you to meet women if you're unwilling to step outside your comfort zone.
Again, this has not been my experience at all. IRL, I'm cute. I have a nice smile, intelligence, and an engaging personality (well, when I want to...but that's a whole other story). I know this.
But things like this happen to me fairly often: I just moved into my new apartment. When I was waiting for the movers, I stayed in my apartment lobby. I was bored so I started chatting with the receptionist. She is NOT my type at all. But we seemed to get along well so I asked her to dinner. She agreed and named days when she is free. She gave me her number.
I texted her today and got no response (it was just a basic text, as I've learned over the years to never invest that much into a woman, as many are total time wasters).
I have a lot of experiencing approaching and, therefore, I expected her to flake (based on her age and employment history). Can't say that it doesn't irk me though, even though I expected it.
Interestingly, I've developed ways to actually make this grim situation work (since it happens most of the time). However, as I said, she's not my type anyway so I'm not going to push this if she's already making it difficult.
In any event, I really don't think I was misreading the situation. I think that she was genuinely interested at the time and then changed her mind for whatever reason. This is extremely common and why I've learned to view women as flakes until proven otherwise.
Yup, I love approaching groups. Because if the girl is not acting right and her friends are reasonable people (and if they like you), they will hold her accountable.
This is the REAL reason why meeting women through friends and other social networks works much better than random cold approaches. Women are held accountable for their actions in these situations.
It sounds like you are good at handling these kinds of situations (which is common with men that frequent night clubs, since you have a lot of exposure to women). In my opinion, that's why you are successful, more than your wit and personality.
Thank you. I like you too.
Thank you. On behalf of men, we appreciate the understanding.
Something I've experienced from attempting to date women younger than me and older than me. What sounds good on Monday, may no longer sound good on Tuesday. I used to put stock in getting a woman's number, because I'm a little old school in that regard. When I was 21, Myspace was your only source of social media and not many people in my age demographic were online dating. So we met many women being out and about. Just 10 years ago, it really meant something to get a woman's number in my book, because they seemed more eager to get to know who I was.
Now, a number is nothing more than just that, some numbers broken up by hyphens. You also have the ability to give out your number, and if someone annoys you, you can just block the number. You don't even have to call a third party operator anymore, you can just block them from your phone. So from my experience women feel less threatened to give out their number, so they give it to just anyone and everyone. If the person annoys them, they can block them and go on with their day.
In my humble opinion, I wouldn't put stock in getting a woman's number. I get a woman's number just because it's one step closer to me getting to know her on a more personal basis. It doesn't mean I have any better shot of even making it to the date stage, it just means I'm a ball in a hopper.
You mention often that women don't struggle with dating. I can assure you that women do struggle, they just struggle differently than men. Where men can go out on a date with a woman, and she doesn't respond to our advance of a second date, we tend to be better equipped to move on. For women, and women correct me if I'm wrong, it's a much more involved emotional affair if they like the guy and their feelings aren't reciprocated. Women can beat themselves up more emotionally, because they feel it's something that's truly wrong with them.
How many times have you read a woman's profile that stated they want to date, but they have no idea what they're looking for? That statement is very true. They have an idea of what they're looking for, but it can easily change just as the wind blows. Women are very complex human beings, which is why God gave them the ability to reproduce and not men.
As men, we tend to be far more analytical and have a tendency to know exactly what we're looking for. Women just aren't designed that way, which is why you can see a woman be in 3 different relationships with 3 totally different men. Whereas a man will likely be in 3 different relationships with practically the same women, just the hair color changes.
I'm an avid trail rider and have been for the last 4 years. Not only will you not meet a woman at night, really anyone for that matter, don't expect to meet single women mountain bike riding. I categorize mountain bike riding under the same category as golf. Highly male dominated and mostly competitive. If you want an activity that allows you to meet women, you need tennis and 5ks in your routine. Heavily female dominated and tend to have single women rotating in and out.
I love bike riding, but usually the only women I see are the wives of the husbands who are riding. They're riding because they are wanting to get involved with what their husband is doing. None of these couples met mountain bike riding.
You have a routine that works for you and makes you happy; however, it's going to be difficult for you to meet women if you're unwilling to step outside your comfort zone.
You may be right I just got a used bike last nite, rode it downtown and saw mostly guys lol and then I did not start seeing females(a lot of them) on the trails until about 4:30AM as I was heading home cause I only had a couple of hours before the sun started coming up. one woman did approach and did not really say much just road kinda close, and I pulled of the trail to go to the water fountain and so did she but all she did was fill her water bottle and called her girlfriend on the phone to make sure she got up for work...... sigh
And it was then i noticed her staring at the homeless people in the park. so I am guessing she just viewed me as less of a risk than the hobo's.
Well at least I will get a better workout. I musta burned off 10 pounds.
Well, the thing is, a woman running or biking at night being suddenly approached from the darkness by a guy biking right next to her going "Hi, I'm Dave! What's your name? So...you do this often? What you up to after this?" is going to have visions of being stuck in a well within the hour being screamed at to put the lotion on her skin.
So yeah, that's why you're not meeting a lot of women this way, LOL.
Good on you for getting all that exercise, though! That's awesome.
You may be right I just got a used bike last nite, rode it downtown and saw mostly guys lol and then I did not start seeing females(a lot of them) on the trails until about 4:30AM as I was heading home cause I only had a couple of hours before the sun started coming up. one woman did approach and did not really say much just road kinda close, and I pulled of the trail to go to the water fountain and so did she but all she did was fill her water bottle and called her girlfriend on the phone to make sure she got up for work...... sigh
And it was then i noticed her staring at the homeless people in the park. so I am guessing she just viewed me as less of a risk than the hobo's.
Well at least I will get a better workout. I musta burned off 10 pounds.
Why were you at the water fountain? Do you really think that just by being somewhere a woman is, she needs to be interested in you, you know, because you bought a used bike to troll for women before dawn?
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