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No one deserves to be cheated on but sometimes lust overwhelms common sense.
It does mate
I had an unhealthy obsession with playing with fire when I was young.... Until I got burned
But looking back it's a learning phase and thankfully now I've learned how to take a right hander! LOL... But yeah that's long gone and now I'm the bloke I want to be
I was cheated on by my ex husband. I started to get suspicious when he became very close with a female coworker. I didn't think much of it at first, but over time the signs got hard to ignore. I didn't want to believe it for a long time. It was hard to accept someone I thought loved me could lie to me and not even seemingly feel that bad about it. They are now married with kids.
It took a long time for me to get over it. Looking back it's hard to believe I was so sad. He wasn't a very good boyfriend and an even worse husband. I was young and dumb and I didn't know a relationship could be better. I think the worst part wasn't really missing him...but the being lied to and betrayed. I felt so foolish and my self esteem took a huge hit. I also struggled feeling like how could he just move on when I was barely getting by. Time truly does heal all wounds. It gets better day by day.
I'm with someone much better now and I've even moved around a few times to new cities. I've traveled and met new friends and had a much better and happier life than I ever would have had with him. He did me a huge favor and I don't have any regrets! You'll be okay I promise! Just keep looking forward and know that it will get better!
It's some time that this happened to me but my now ex-gf also cheated on me. As I found out later on. It was repeatedly and with multiple partners. The best thing you can do is to just walk away... I know that it will sound like a cliche but only time. Just avoid your ex and try to spend time with your friends. Just don't stay at home alone.
Cheating is never fun to deal with, but facts are facts and 80% of men and believe it or not, 50% of women will cheat within the first ten years of a relationship. Combining the overall percentage of couples that will have to face cheating by either the man, the woman, or in many cases, both to a whopping 90% of all couples that are together ten years or more. Many go undetected and many are not caught, but the vast majority are.
Some studies recently done, actually indicate that women have caught up to men with the frequency of cheating and are ten times better at hiding it then men are.
I've cheated and been cheated on. Nobody here every admits to cheating, (funny how that works given the above stats) I just did.
I suspected 1 boyfriend that I had cheated but he never admitted it and I could never prove it. On me cheating? Depends on your definition of cheating. I feel awful admitting this but I will tell the truth. I had a boyfriend and I knew the relationship was coming to an end soon. I ended up posting a personal ad and he found me on it (which tells me he was looking too.....) saying I was looking for someone Jewish (he was Christian) right away. I never had a date with anyone while seeing him, kissed anyone, or even was interested in anyone. As horrible as this sounds, I was in a small city with few options and yes, I wanted to see what was out there. To this day I feel awful about how I hurt him. I remember talking it over how he "caught" me and we met at a pub for dinner and I was crying. He said he knew he could never trust me. After some time we actually were able to be friends but that didn't last long and all communication on all ends came to an end. He was probably the best boyfriend that I ever had but I just didn't really feel passion for him at all during our relationship. It felt "safe" because I knew I had settled.
Yes, ex-wife cheated on me with a coworker. That is why she is now an ex-wife. It wasn't long term, because the signs were there immediately and thankfully when confronted she came clean. Took a year to get over and quite a blow to my ego.
Last girlfriend that traveled for work used to pickup guys when out of town. Her own girlfriend ratted her out because she thought I was a nice guy and it was wrong. When asked, the GF told me we weren't married and just living together and it was no big deal, it didn't mean anything it was just sex. She tells me if her friend hadn't told me it would have been no big deal and everything would have been fine. She's gone now too. I love how she tried to justify it by saying we weren't married so there was no commitment to each other.
Cheated on twice now by the same guy, whom I am terribly in love with (and still am).
First time he did it, he openly said that he's seeing someone. Broke my heart tremendously. A year later, he starts to text me and obviously want me back. To be honest, I had butterflies in my stomach and felt so happy as I always saw him as the 'one'. So I gave him another chance. We became nicely intimate again, until...
Flashforward 3 years later, the dude cheats on me again. This time, as Nancy Sinatra's Bang Bang song goes "He didn't even say goodbye, he didn't take the time to lie". He just leaves without a trace, not telling me where he's at and with whom he's with. Probably doesn't want to feel the shame after doing this twice now. I found out about this on social media, that he's in a relationship with someone, where I also saw their 'intimate' photos.
Hate to admit it, but, yes. I have. At the time it's happening, you don't feel regret, you're not intentionally trying to hurt the other partner. I've had affairs, with married women, while I was married, and while I was single. I just convinced myself it was only sex, and we weren't hurting anyone, just enjoying our time together, tantamount to watching a movie. It's all cheating, the minute one person in a relationship goes outside of their partner to share personal info, to vent, the desire to have change, that your partner isn't the one you want to do all those things with: Matthew5:27 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
I'm not proud of my actions, nor am I bragging. The OP asked a question, I'm here to answer honestly. And by no means am I anonymous, serveral people know me personally so there is no benefit for me in answering this thread. I've been cheated on, maybe that's why it didn't bother me as much as it should. The thing I go back to now, in my heart and in my head, "I'm not cheating on my spouse/SO, I'm cheating on myself. I know, and will always know what I've done, and who I've hurt, or lied to." As HC stated earlier, in time, I have to look back and wonder, "What might have been?"
I'd have several houses paid off, cars out the back door, $$$, and probably a lot less people wanting to urinate on my grave. I've got to live with myself, and that ain't easy. He moved on so easily because he wasn't committed to you, he had his Plan B in place and had already shifted his affection and attention to her. To him, it's the same as trading in a used car, he had another one already financed and ready to ride, so he left you at the lot to be picked up by a new owner.
Don't get my analogy mixed that I'm cheapening you or lowering your personal status to a tangible item such as a vehicle. I'm only trying to explain his mentality and his commitment to you. Don't feel pain over someone that wasn't committed to you. You can feel regret for believing him, feel educated and relieved for not marrying him and having to go thru all the legal bs attached to divorce. Understand the blessing you have been given, but don't be bitter nor judgemental of every man you meet. Just don't be so quick to want someone in your life that you overlook their shortcomings. If they're meant to be for you, patience and time will show you that, not great sex.
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