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Any responses are appreciated...even criticism. I think I can take it.
There's this guy I met around September. We work together, though we don't have a lot of contact...just enough to have gotten to know a few personal things here and there and have some good talks. Initially, I thought he was flirting with me, but can't really be sure. At some point, I said something in his presence about being a lesbian, though it wasn't directed at him. I have always considered myself a lesbian, but have been open-minded, also. Any behavior on his part that could have been construed as flirting stopped after I said something about being gay.
Now it's February, and I really do want to date him. He's single and looking. But he is also, of course, convinced that I'm interested only in women. So I guess I'm not even a possibility as far as he's concerned.
How can I make it known that I'm interested in him? I don't want to just announce that I'm now bisexual in his presence...don't want to sound that fickle! I'm really not that fickle, and I think it would sound laughable. Declaring a label that was not entirely fitting was my first mistake, I think--don't want to repeat such a thing. In all honesty, I'm not sure how to go about these things in general, aside from just turning to him in the elevator and exclaiming, "Look, I'm attracted to you!" Not sure of the right way to handle it.
I've read some threads on this forum and just think that there are some helpful people on here and I'm interested to see what others think. Thanks for reading.
I think turning to him on the elevator is a splendid idea. Tell him how you feel and plant a nice kiss on him. Then as soon as the doors open bolt out of there. Let him ponder on it and see if/how he responds. If nothing else it will surely make his day!
Tell him you'd like him to go out with you and one of your female friends, hinting that it might lead to something...that should get his attention and interest going. Then when he shows up, tell him the friend had to cancel at the last minute, and work your charm with him alone.
Explain it to him the same way you did in your post. I'm a male and I'd rather have it that way. Straight to the point is the best approach with most males.
Do you still chat fairly regularly? why not just invite him out for a drink after work. I don't think it has to be a big announcement, any more than you would with a woman you are interested in. Anyways, if he says yes to drinks after work, work it from there.
Any responses are appreciated...even criticism. I think I can take it.
There's this guy I met around September. We work together, though we don't have a lot of contact...just enough to have gotten to know a few personal things here and there and have some good talks. Initially, I thought he was flirting with me, but can't really be sure. At some point, I said something in his presence about being a lesbian, though it wasn't directed at him. I have always considered myself a lesbian, but have been open-minded, also. Any behavior on his part that could have been construed as flirting stopped after I said something about being gay.
Now it's February, and I really do want to date him. He's single and looking. But he is also, of course, convinced that I'm interested only in women. So I guess I'm not even a possibility as far as he's concerned.
How can I make it known that I'm interested in him? I don't want to just announce that I'm now bisexual in his presence...don't want to sound that fickle! I'm really not that fickle, and I think it would sound laughable. Declaring a label that was not entirely fitting was my first mistake, I think--don't want to repeat such a thing. In all honesty, I'm not sure how to go about these things in general, aside from just turning to him in the elevator and exclaiming, "Look, I'm attracted to you!" Not sure of the right way to handle it.
I've read some threads on this forum and just think that there are some helpful people on here and I'm interested to see what others think. Thanks for reading.
Agree that just telling him, like you did here is a good way to go. I wouldn't blurt out you're attracted to him; and without knowing the circumstances back then.. how did you say you were interested in women? Did you say you were in a relationship with one?
There are a lot of bi people. Depending on how you told him you were a lesbian, you can then open with that, then say that you've dated men before. Who knows if he's available?
...how did you say you were interested in women? Did you say you were in a relationship with one?
I think three or four of us at work were discussing politics and specifically the Bush administration and I said something about not appreciating the proposal of the Federal Marriage Amendment at all, being a gay person. I wish I'd just kept it at saying I don't appreciate it and I think it's unjust without giving more details, but stuff comes out.
See, when it seemed like he might've been flirting, someone suggested that he liked me and told me that since I don't date men (though she didn't know that for sure) that I should tell him I'm gay so as not to lead him on. I wasn't doing it consciously at that point, but it might've come out subconsciously because someone had told me to say as much.
Thanks to all of you for the responses I've gotten. I feel more comfortable with the idea of giving it to him straight (yeah--no pun intended) than blurting something out. I think I would want an honest explanation of some kind in the same situation. But I'm going to give it more thought before I go ahead with anything.
I think three or four of us at work were discussing politics and specifically the Bush administration and I said something about not appreciating the proposal of the Federal Marriage Amendment at all, being a gay person. I wish I'd just kept it at saying I don't appreciate it and I think it's unjust without giving more details, but stuff comes out.
See, when it seemed like he might've been flirting, someone suggested that he liked me and told me that since I don't date men (though she didn't know that for sure) that I should tell him I'm gay so as not to lead him on. I wasn't doing it consciously at that point, but it might've come out subconsciously because someone had told me to say as much.
Thanks to all of you for the responses I've gotten. I feel more comfortable with the idea of giving it to him straight (yeah--no pun intended) than blurting something out. I think I would want an honest explanation of some kind in the same situation. But I'm going to give it more thought before I go ahead with anything.
Now I'm not saying this is the right thing to do, and certainly being straight with him would be better, but I wonder if you could perhaps drop a couple of hints first? Like talking about a movie and saying that a guy in it is cute or something? It might get him thinking.. And if he said "I thought you were meant to be gay" then it's a good opener for "well, more bi...." Just a thought!
Just ask him out for a drink or something very non scheduled. That way you guys are just hanging out. If you enojoy yourselves he'll probably ask you out.
On a side note, if I was giving some attention to a chick that all of sudden said she was a lesbo, I'd take that has a sign that she wasn't intersted either. Sounds like you brought this situation on yourself.
On a side note, if I was giving some attention to a chick that all of sudden said she was a lesbo, I'd take that has a sign that she wasn't intersted either. Sounds like you brought this situation on yourself.
Yeah...I hear ya and I know. This seems to be a case of me talking too much, which has gotten me into trouble before.
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