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Sending a text is not "pushy". Confronting you about it in front of other people, even in a joking manner, would be. Look at his actions, not his texts.
I can't imagine what it's like to be a guy in a world where a simple "are you sure I can't convince you to go out with me this Saturday?" is interpreted as a red flag and boundary violation.
Honestly, I would never say that to someone I was newly dating. If they told me that they were busy, what would be the point of me coming back at them with an "Are you sure?" the day of said commitment? I wouldn't do it because I wouldn't want to come across as pushy, annoying, or needy. The person said they were busy, so you just leave it alone.
For me, it's the flippant use of terms like "boundary violation" that makes things really scary.
I can't imagine what it's like to be a guy in a world where a simple "are you sure I can't convince you to go out with me this Saturday?" is interpreted as a red flag and boundary violation.
And as someone else said, if she was into him, she wouldn't be here posting, she'd be flirting back and this wouldn't be an issue.
Honestly, I would never say that to someone I was newly dating. If they told me that they were busy, what would be the point of me coming back at them with an "Are you sure?" the day of said commitment? I wouldn't do it because I wouldn't want to come across as pushy, annoying, or needy. The person said they were busy, so you just leave it alone.
Ok, so you wouldn't do it. No problem.
That you wouldn't do it doesn't make it "not normal" or some sort of universal red flag though.
Yes, I really did. I'm an adult. If I tell someone I'm busy on Friday, I expect that person (another adult) to respect my situation and find something else to occupy themselves. Not bug me to back out of my plans for their sake.
You always start threads that have some kind of negative or perceived action that someone has taken toward or against you. Themes of that nature. Do you find yourself getting into issues with people in real life all that much.
The guy wasn't really that far out of line, a touch maybe, but not enough to get your back up. Certainly nothing of the order of "boundary pushing" you come off like one of these people that is always getting offended by the most innocuous things.
Setting yourself up for a long life of feeling put upon. Just sayin.
You always start threads that have some kind of negative or perceived action that someone has taken toward or against you. Themes of that nature. Do you find yourself getting into issues with people in real life all that much.
The guy wasn't really that far out of line, a touch maybe, but not enough to get your back up. Certainly nothing of the order of "boundary pushing" you come off like one of these people that is always getting offended by the most innocuous things.
Setting yourself up for a long life of feeling put upon. Just sayin.
I post when I want feedback on something. I don't typically want feedback on the positive things that are happening in my life. I call things as I see them.
I interpreted the "too bad we can't get together this Friday" statement as occurring when I originally turned down the date, not as a follow-up to that. Maybe Cardiff Giant can clarify.
I would say it at the time the date was initially being discussed and then drop it.
I liked the chase as much as the next guy but I'm not pushy, annoying or needy.
Honestly, I would never say that to someone I was newly dating. If they told me that they were busy, what would be the point of me coming back at them with an "Are you sure?" the day of said commitment? I wouldn't do it because I wouldn't want to come across as pushy, annoying, or needy. The person said they were busy, so you just leave it alone.
I can understand your point of view on this. Who knows? It's almost like, or it's possible that, it was a passive-aggressive way of indicating he didn't believe you were really busy on that particular Friday night.
Over text, though, it's hard to know.
This is why face to face communication is much better.
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