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People who refuse to look at negative things that they are doing, but instead gaslight others who point these things out, almost always continue to do those negative things.
She could be hoping to see things differently during her 'break'. If she already feels insecure about herself, she may be able to recognize that making decisions about her bf in this state isn't a good idea.
I know I sometimes overreact to constructive criticism, at least in my head anyway -so I've learned to walk away or take time to think about why I feel like attacking or giving an emotional reaction...the apology and flowers are really nice, hopefully she'll get with the program or talk to her doctor.
What's ironic is how many people say that chemistry and attraction are so important in getting together with someone in the beginning. Then, as soon as someone has been in a relationship for a year or so, suddenly he is viewed as cruel and shallow when his girlfriend starts to change in ways that he would not have been attracted to in the beginning... and somehow he is the villain for telling her this after she asked him what was bothering her.
She could be hoping to see things differently during her 'break'. If she already feels insecure about herself, she may be able to recognize that making decisions about her bf in this state isn't a good idea.
I know I sometimes overreact to constructive criticism, at least in my head anyway -so I've learned to walk away or take time to think about why I feel like attacking or giving an emotional reaction...the apology and flowers are really nice, hopefully she'll get with the program or talk to her doctor.
Good luck OP
She's the one who should be apologizing and sending flowers. He did nothing wrong.
She could be hoping to see things differently during her 'break'. If she already feels insecure about herself, she may be able to recognize that making decisions about her bf in this state isn't a good idea.
I know I sometimes overreact to constructive criticism, at least in my head anyway -so I've learned to walk away or take time to think about why I feel like attacking or giving an emotional reaction...the apology and flowers are really nice, hopefully she'll get with the program or talk to her doctor.
Good luck OP
The apology and the flowers should come from the OP's girlfriend since he has done nothing wrong...
Yeah, I agree with your post 100%. And I don't believe for a minute that people wouldn't react in a similar fashion to the girlfriend if they were told that "I'm not attracted to you anymore because of your weight." Weight is something that she can work on but the result won't be immediate unless she does something unhealthy. It's not like changing her hair color. Until the weight is resolved, she will be worried about him judging her, wondering if he is going to be led astray by the hot and hard bodied chick at work, etc.
I think OP has the right to speak his mind but he doesn't have the right to expect to keep a relationship going after this.
BTW, OP -- it may very well be that the lack of physical desire for her may not have anything to do with her weight. When I was single, I ran into an old boyfriend who I had broken up with about 3 months earlier. He said, "Wow, you look fantastic...it looks like have been working out a lot." The irony was I weighed EXACTLY the same as I did when we broke up, had not been to the gym in weeks, and was not wearing a cute outfit. His unhappiness with our relationship when we were together obviously tainted his judgement about my appearance.
So in order to keep a relationship OP has to keep any issues and problem he has with his partner to himself. Very interesting statement. To me, this kind of a relationship it not worth having. Is this the kind of a relationship you are in?
welp, there you have it Byron. Plenty think you've done nothing wrong.
Enjoy your single life. Congrats. All that matters is that you are RIGHT.
What he could be doing, if he has the sense to dump her, is setting himself up to be enjoying his future life with a more healthy woman who is open to talking about issues that come up in relationships.
As compared to handing his balls to a manipulative insecure women who is fine with him feeling like he is being taken for granted and who prefers to sweep things under the carpet instead of discussing them.
welp, there you have it Byron. Plenty think you've done nothing wrong.
Enjoy your single life. Congrats. All that matters is that you are RIGHT.
Ha! Yeah, except Byron is a nice emotionally intelligent guy who feels bad because his girlfriend is stressed and unhappy. Some guys are ok with just trying to make someone they care about feel better. Really! I know one.
What's ironic is how many people say that chemistry and attraction are so important in getting together with someone in the beginning. Then, as soon as someone has been in a relationship for a year or so, suddenly he is viewed as cruel and shallow when his girlfriend starts to change in ways that he would not have been attracted to in the beginning... and somehow he is the villain for telling her this after she asked him what was bothering her.
Perhaps you should work on your own personal issues with this instead of projecting your negative feelings onto the OP. He has already resolved that he will try to work this out with her.
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