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"Resorting to it" for me would mean I was out of touch IRL and at my age that can be dangerous. And yes, life is what you make it and it's different for everyone so by all means dry your tears.
No tears here, at all.
I'm just chuckling a bit at the whole "at my age" thing. I'd venture to say that it's way less about chronological age than it is being stuck in a particular mindset about how things "should be".
Go to your local sports bar that serves good food. I promise, you will meet more men in person than you can shake a stick (or butt) at.
Guys love girls who drink beer. +1 for craft beer. +100 if you can talk sports.
yes but no.
A woman alone in a bar sitting at the bar = looks like desperation or an alcoholic or easy to get.
Go into a sports bar and look whose sitting alone at the bar ... even if she walks in there, she will most likely get hit on immediately by the old dude that sits drunk at the bar for the past 20 years.
I meet an eligible person I hit it off with once every 3-5 years through this method. It just isn't often enough, and I'm in a larger city and out multiple times a week, seeing bands, attending events, doing activities. It just doesn't happen very much.
OLD is just way more efficient, I can meet more people, chat a bit back and forth to see if we have anything in common, screen out total dealbreakers and then meet to determine if there is any mutual chemistry.
Exactly. The likelihood of meeting an actual match while I browsed the desserts aisle at Trader Joe's was slim. I was hit on many times at various grocery stores, coffee shops, malls, and eateries. It just wasn't my thing. I preferred an efficient way to meet and screen for deal-breakers, among other things. I knew who to take interest in and invest energy and time based on known compatibility, rather than wasting time, too much time, fleshing out information to gauge compatibility. This is especially true for individuals who have niche interests or specific criteria.
I do not use it. I did use it once and then I got a message from a man who said he spent his evening "having fun" with my pictures. This was enough for me to delete everything and never do it again.
This is especially true for individuals who have niche interests or specific criteria.
Precisely.
Which is why, the older I got, the more appealing OLD became. I came to know what did, and did not, work for me when it came to long-term compatibility and found that looking online was a very efficient way to weed out those who I knew would not be compatible with me long-term. I did not shut my eyes to other avenues, but I did prefer to look where the odds were stacked way more in my favor.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by mishigas73
Precisely.
Which is why, the older I got, the more appealing OLD became. I came to know what did, and did not, work for me when it came to long-term compatibility and found that looking online was a very efficient way to weed out those who I knew would not be compatible with me long-term. I did not shut my eyes to other avenues, but I did prefer to look where the odds were stacked way more in my favor.
Same here. When I was in my 20s and my criteria was, she is cool, she is cute, she seems to like me... good enough! The random thing worked then, now? Not so much. It does on occasion, had one work a couple of years ago, but that was the first time in ages.
Because it can be an efficient and viable tool for meeting and screening available matches. Some, many, don't attend church, are not into bars or sports bars, and do not see the grocery store as a realistic place to meet a potential match. The dating world isn't a rom-com.
Not all men are into sports, or hang out at sports bars. The vast majority of men I dated were not sports guys. I'm not that into sports. And not all men drink. My husband doesn't drink, nor did the last two men I dated. So there's that.
Lol no. Folks have used "modern" methods for dating/meeting people for decades now. My dad and stepmom met through a video dating service 25 years ago. I met my first husband before the rise of online dating, back when AOL was still a thing. Heck, I met my high school boyfriend in an AOL chat room in the late 90s. Online dating serves as a useful tool, a convenient and efficient one, for many people.
I never struggled for attention or dates in-person. I simply preferred other methods that proved to be a more efficient and successful way to meet compatible matches. If other folks prefer in-person meetings, that's just fine, but online dating worked fabulously for me.
+1.
So very true on the bold statement. I'm not a big church goer, since most of the people that go to church are married and have families. It's more of a, I don't fit in reason of why I don't go. I get my spiritual healing in other ways. I go to sports bars to eat with friends, not hit on the hypothetical eligible women who might be there. Grocery stores, I go there to get what I need. Not peruse the isles hoping I bump into a woman who's attractive, single, and has time to chat. Many of my outings are mission based not hypothetically based. The last woman I was in a relationship with that developed by chance was back in 2010. I dated a woman earlier this year that was an off chance meeting, but it never prospered into anything. The boyfriend she has now, she ended up meeting online.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Metaphysique
The dating world isn't a rom-com.
And its a damn shame
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve
A woman alone in a bar sitting at the bar = looks like desperation or an alcoholic or easy to get.
Oh stop it with this. I know plenty of women that go to bars alone, and see plenty that go alone. It doesn't look like anything of the sort, to me, or any guy with half a brain. What it looks like is a woman that wanted to go out and get a drink and be around people. No different than a guy going out. I don't know about sports bars, as they're not my thing, but a nice cocktail or craft beer bar regularly has solo women.
A woman alone in a bar sitting at the bar = looks like desperation or an alcoholic or easy to get.
Go into a sports bar and look whose sitting alone at the bar ... even if she walks in there, she will most likely get hit on immediately by the old dude that sits drunk at the bar for the past 20 years.
At least in my area this is true as well. Anytime I go to a local bar or sports bar during the week, the bar is either occupied by a couple or older single men who go to that location 1-2/week. My scene has never been to sit at a bar by myself and make conversation. I did do it for the first time a few months back, but I was waiting on some friends to leave a concert. I'm much more of a I want to go out and meet a friend for drinks, not go and see what happens by myself. I would have had more luck with that method when I was in my early 20s, but during that time, I always had friends available who wanted to go out. We were all mostly single during those years as well and many eligible women were out then too. The same eligible women are out now, but I'm almost 33 and they're 21-25, which is just a bit too young for my taste and likely theirs as well.
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