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My wife is a special case, because she has severe bi-polar but it sure is frustrating. We had a fight today, which ended with her telling me that I'm a "terrible father" in front of the kids. She does that a lot ... says things that are aimed at my character and often in public settings.
A couple hours later things were still simmering. I told her I thought it was disgusting that she would say that in front of the kids. Her response was "don't call me disgusting". I said I didn't, but that I called what she said disgusting. I said that I don't attack her character but I do label her actions sometimes. She said it was the same thing as calling her disgusting.
Then she says that I write nasty things about her in my journal. Excuse me ... my journal is one way I deal with the difficulties in my life. And why is she reading it? That was news to me. Sometimes I do vent my frustrations about her in my journal. But I said apples to oranges because it my personal space and I'm not attacking her. She again said there's no difference, that it is tearing her character down.
We were going to go round and round, so I gave up and have been doing my own thing tonight, after being a terrible father by making dinner, reading to the kids and putting them to bed of course.
Tend to agree, maybe try some couples counselling, but sounds like a toxic environment to raise kids in.
Too many people stay together "for the kids" but in reality, the best thing for the kids would be for them to split up.
I think my bank is extremely unreasonable. You can call a human being 'bipolar' and maybe the judgement sticks, but try calling your mortgage broker crazy, bipolar, impossible... it doesn't stick so well. Because they got the money and they don't care if you like them or not.
Strictly as a technical issue, but I don't know why someone could read your personal journal or diary. You type that out in a (say wordpad, or Microsoft Word, or Libreoffice document), and then you encrypt it with AES-256bit, and if your wife can unlock that and still read it, you better get her a job with the NSA or the CIA or something.
You got kids with her, you know her better than we do. Ask her where is the love, or seek counseling, or divorce her then.
My wife is a special case, because she has severe bi-polar but it sure is frustrating. We had a fight today, which ended with her telling me that I'm a "terrible father" in front of the kids. She does that a lot ... says things that are aimed at my character and often in public settings.
A couple hours later things were still simmering. I told her I thought it was disgusting that she would say that in front of the kids. Her response was "don't call me disgusting". I said I didn't, but that I called what she said disgusting. I said that I don't attack her character but I do label her actions sometimes. She said it was the same thing as calling her disgusting.
Then she says that I write nasty things about her in my journal. Excuse me ... my journal is one way I deal with the difficulties in my life. And why is she reading it? That was news to me. Sometimes I do vent my frustrations about her in my journal. But I said apples to oranges because it my personal space and I'm not attacking her. She again said there's no difference, that it is tearing her character down.
We were going to go round and round, so I gave up and have been doing my own thing tonight, after being a terrible father by making dinner, reading to the kids and putting them to bed of course.
You are trying to reason with someone who is incapable of reasoning. If she is not responding to treatment, you need to get your children out of her custody ASAP. We've had this conversation before. When are you going to DO something about your situation?
If she has been diagnosed as bipolar (severe, no less) then she should be on medication. Often bipolars feel best when they are manic-y and that's when they may stop taking their meds. Are you certain she is taking them? If so, often dosages need to be adjusted at various times if she is cycling. She needs to go back to her psychiatrist. And I do hope its not her GP trying to treat this because bipolars, particularly if she is acting out like your wife, need to be seeing a psychiatrist.
Bipolars can be treated successfully - my dad had lots of issues, including trying to kill himself several times but once he was correctly diagnosed and treated he had a successful private practice as a dentist.
Therapy won't help her until her meds are worked out but may help your kids and you so consider that. Best of luck with everything!
She's been more than diagnosed. She's been hospitalized 3 times and in several all-day outpatient programs. She spiraled down after her latest episode and her psychatrist has been changing meds trying to find something that works a lot. Partially because she complains about all of them.
Anyway I have been doing a lot in the last 6 months:
-- Put my daughter in counseling
-- Started going to counseling myself.
-- Found a new counselor for my wife (who quit after two sessions using some lame excuse that the counselor's tattoo indicated she didn't have the same values. WTH?)
-- Had us start attending a NAMI support group twice a month.
--Am working with a disability law firm to see what can be done to get her listed as disabled.
It can be very toxic. I'm using the above to prep for the inevitable.
I'm usually more patient, or at least don't get baited in as much as I did yesterday, but I've been sick. No excuse I know ...
You really can't change the way closed minded people think or behave even if you bring thier actions it to light.
She sounds like she has a victims mentality and immature as well.
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